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Marc2b -> RE: Could the GOVT "organize" catastrophy? (4/26/2009 2:56:52 PM)
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quote:
I am convinced our government couldn't organize a trip to the bathroom....
You are quite wrong. Government is perfectly capable of organizing a trip to the bathroom. First we will have to appoint a committee to study the feasibility of the Going to the Bathroom Project (GBP). Certain questions must be answered first.
What is the purpose for the trip to the bathroom? Is it for urination, defecation, or both? How will this affect toilet paper usage? What if somebody blows their nose? That too will increase toilet paper usage. We need to form a subcommittee to study toilet paper usage in various bathroom activities.
How many people are going on this trip? That will certainly affect toilet paper usage and will also have an impact on water usage. We need to form a subcommittee to study the average water usage for flushing and washing hands.
Who is going to the bathroom? Are they only women or only men? If the group consists of both women and men this will this necessitate two bathrooms? Are having separate bathrooms for men and women sexist? We need form a subcommittee to study the impact of sexism in bathroom usage. There could also be legal ramifications of having a unisex bathroom. In order to accommodate the diversity of bathroom usage amongst those who will be going on this trip to the bathroom it seem necessary to provide at least three bathrooms: one for men, one for women and one unisex facility.
What about homosexual, trans-sexual and trans-gendered individuals? Some people may not be comfortable with such individuals in a single sex environment? Should additional bathrooms be acquired to accommodate such individuals? We need to form a subcommittee to study the impact of discrimination against homosexuals, trans-sexuals and the trans-gendered upon the bathroom environment.
Racial discrimination will not, of course, be tolerated. We need to form a subcommittee to oversee sensitivity training for all bathroom goers.
What will the environmental impact of the GBP be? Will the biological waste be disposed in a safe and environmentally sound manner? How will the bathrooms be powered (oil, coal, solar, wind)? Is solar or wind energy feasible for the GBP? Will the bathrooms come equipped with hot air dryers or should paper towels be used? Is the use of a hot air dryer an unnecessary waste of electricity? Or are the use of paper towels an unnecessary waste of trees? We need a subcommittee to study the environmental impact of the GBP.
Are bathroom facilities that meet the GBP’s standards all ready available or will the GBP have to build new facilities? We need to form a subcommittee to study availability or GBP compliant facilities.
Should it be necessary to build GBP compliant facilities we will need a subcommittee to oversee acquisition of needed materials and the hiring of construction workers. We will also need a subcommittee to make sure the acquisition subcommittee is in full compliance with all local, state and federal workplace laws and regulations.
We will also need a subcommittee to find a location for the facilities of the GBP.
After construction or acquisition the facilities will need to be kept in a clean and sanitary condition. This will require a subcommittee to over see the hiring of a cleaning staff and the acquisition of needed cleaning materials (the Subcommittee for Sanitary Maintenance will have to co-ordinate with the Environmental Subcommittee to make sure all cleaning materials are eco-friendly - this may necessitate the forming of a liason committie).
We will also need to form an accounting committee to track all costs for the GBP including, but not limited to, costs of materials and workers, costs of supplies, salaries, committee expenses, etc.
Due to increasing cost estimates of the GBP we need to form a subcommittee to look into the GBP’s finances and determine if there is room for…
Never mind…
I just pissed my pants.
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