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A New Willy - 4/24/2009 7:19:25 PM   
mydestiny2043


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A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but...something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.' The man groans, but the doctor goes on, 'You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did -better in fact!
But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch.'

The man perks up at this. 'So,' the doctor says, 'it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.' The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day.

'So,' says the doctor, 'have you spoken with your wife?'

'I have,' says the man.

'And has she helped you in making the decision?'

'Yes, she has,' says the man.

'And what is it?' asks the doctor.

'We're getting granite countertops.'

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RE: A New Willy - 4/25/2009 9:24:43 AM   
VeryNastyDom


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That is a funniest new joke I have seen a long time.  Do you know my wife?

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RE: A New Willy - 4/25/2009 5:51:08 PM   
kinkienesss


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lmao



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RE: A New Willy - 4/25/2009 6:24:02 PM   
NightTigress


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Granite can never replace a dick

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RE: A New Willy - 4/27/2009 5:12:21 AM   
FourQ


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I think I'd have gone for the nine incher and a divorce!

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RE: A New Willy - 4/27/2009 1:30:38 PM   
ChainGoddess


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  Excellent.

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RE: A New Willy - 4/28/2009 10:58:04 AM   
NightTigress


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Now fourQ remember it is not what you have it is how you use it, and am I the only one that noticed the Dr did not mention girth?

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RE: A New Willy - 4/28/2009 12:12:31 PM   
FourQ


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I've never had any complaints personally.
You should see it though......

I'm hung like an ant!


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RE: A New Willy - 4/28/2009 1:14:40 PM   
NightTigress


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dragging on the ground FourQ?

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RE: A New Willy - 4/28/2009 3:17:54 PM   
FourQ


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ROFL!  It's the first time I've had that response.
I like it



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RE: A New Willy - 4/28/2009 3:24:46 PM   
Saratov


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Like the sticker says"Hung like Einstein, Smart as a Horse". 

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RE: A New Willy - 4/29/2009 2:22:48 PM   
NightTigress


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Glad you like it FourQ I originally heard it after someone was bragging about being hung like a horse so another guy mentioned he was hung like a mouse. got a good reaction so I hear.

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RE: A New Willy - 4/29/2009 3:34:22 PM   
FourQ


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In college one of the lads stated that he wished he had a three foot member.
If I'd had time to think I wouldn't have been able to come up with it, but instinctively I responded with "and exactly who are you planning to sleep with?"
He couldn't reply.


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