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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/30/2009 10:52:09 AM

frankieboy52

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as the artist formerly known as chezzy....i don't feel you need a laundry list of questions..just be yourself without being a narcisstic ass and one should do fine.

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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/30/2009 10:52:12 AM

thetammyjo

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Questions I'd like to hear?

Hhhmmm.... these imply some knowledge about me because generic questions neither do it for me nor turn me off in general.

1. Do you have a new book out?

2. Are you going to X this year? I loved meeting you there last year.

3. Are you the same TammyJo who was in V? I think we meet there Z years ago but you probably don't remember me.

4. I see that you're a book reviewer. Can you recommend a book to me?

5. What's your LJ or website address?

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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/30/2009 11:19:41 AM

SylvereApLeanan

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I only have one question to contribute but it's probably a good general question for anyone.

Ask me about something I've written IN my profile or blog.

The possible ways to phrase it are almost endless. You could ask why I like X or don't care for Y. Ask me if I like A do I also like B? Or you could just make a witty comment based on a blog entry because you agree with it. It shows you've taken time to read them and are paying attention. That's always a good start.

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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/30/2009 1:30:33 PM

azjojoba

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

I only have one question to contribute but it's probably a good general question for anyone.

Ask me about something I've written IN my profile or blog.

That's very good advice. Thanks!

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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/30/2009 6:40:26 PM

SweetDommes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

I only have one question to contribute but it's probably a good general question for anyone.

Ask me about something I've written IN my profile or blog.

The possible ways to phrase it are almost endless. You could ask why I like X or don't care for Y. Ask me if I like A do I also like B? Or you could just make a witty comment based on a blog entry because you agree with it. It shows you've taken time to read them and are paying attention. That's always a good start.

Amen to that. I've spent a lot of time on our profile - all approved by Holly, of course, since it represents her as well - and on the journal (that's all me lol). Someone who can't take the time to read the profile and at least LOOK AT the journal isn't likely to be anyone that interests us, as - in our opinions - it's disrespectful to us. I can honestly say that one of the boys who has recently impressed me greatly is one that told me he read the first few journal entries, but intended to read all of them ... and then did. I don't expect that of anyone (as it took him 3 or 4 days to get through all of them LOL) but the fact that he did it - that he took the time to read what came out of my sometimes jumbled mind to try and get to know me better - was very impressive to me.

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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/30/2009 6:45:35 PM

Lockit

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I was in a chat room and a guy came in and was being a real problem. There wasn't a monitor there so I got him instant message and explained his error. Within ten minutes he was in the room apologizing and I then sent him to read my profile and all my journal to keep him busy. I told him there would be a test. At the time I had a number of stories in my journal. All of it was very, very long. One compared it to 'War and Peace' That guy read everything and passed the test. He never was disruptive again and I was made a monitor. Some will read... when forced! lol

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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/30/2009 6:56:30 PM

DeathinRevelry

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger

One of the guys, A Monty Python fan, piped up, Yeah. I'll walk up to a woman in a bar and say... 'We are the Knights who say Nigh (or knee... or something).' that'll work!"

Actually, that's not half-bad, assuming he has the luck to draw another Python fan. If I had a guy come up to me and say that, I'd laugh and probably make some crack about not having a shrubbery on me, but it would definitely catch my attention and be a good way to start a conversation...

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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/30/2009 7:13:25 PM

dreamerdreaming

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DeathinRevelry

quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger

One of the guys, A Monty Python fan, piped up, Yeah. I'll walk up to a woman in a bar and say... 'We are the Knights who say Nigh (or knee... or something).' that'll work!"

Actually, that's not half-bad, assuming he has the luck to draw another Python fan. If I had a guy come up to me and say that, I'd laugh and probably make some crack about not having a shrubbery on me, but it would definitely catch my attention and be a good way to start a conversation...

This would work on me, but only in person- not online.

I'd definitely tell him to fetch me a shrubbery.

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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/30/2009 9:31:46 PM

DavanKael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

A lot of women don't state an aversion to zombie fucking in their profiles, so naturally I would always send them messages asking "Would you be interested in using dark necromatic powers to raise the bodies of the once-living for hot, hot undead sex together?"

Because we all know that not publicly blaring out broad, common cultural/social norms and common sense inferences is a tacit endorsement for disregarding them!

Hi, aidan----
I thought your reply was fantastic; thanks for a good giggle! :>

Op----
A male calling himself submissive and then acting like a pissy queen is not likely to glean the positive attention of many Dommes, let alone people in general.
I'd suggest considering your mindset and presentation.

Davan

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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 5/1/2009 2:24:50 AM

beeble

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quote:

LadyPact wrote: Don't come across as a horn dog, a sniveling worm, or any other stereotype. Just be you.
PeonForHer wrote: I must say, LP - in all seriousness - that might well be contradictory to a lot of people.

OK, so `Be the part of your self that isn't a horn-dog or a snivelling worm. If there is no part of you that isn't a horn-dog or snivelling worm, don't bother to write.'

quote:

I'd suggest a better two sentences of advice would be "Be yourself, but be a gentleman". (And if the man thinks those to sentences contradict one another other, he shouldn't write at all.)

Yeah, that's a more succinct way of putting it.

beeble.

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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 5/1/2009 2:38:41 AM

beeble

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quote:

SnowRanger wrote: I'll walk up to a woman in a bar and say... 'We are the Knights who say Nigh (or knee... or something).' that'll work!"

Ni! Ni! Ni!

beeble.

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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 5/2/2009 2:39:34 PM

LyraLaLaurie

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My one serious question is...what are YOU into...

Yes, I'm aware I'm a Domme and you want to be my toy. But I am into a LOT of stuff and usually, when a sub approaches they have something specific in mind. I can't guess and it doesn't amuse me if you're too shy to ask. Read the profile and be specific!

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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 5/2/2009 3:01:55 PM

RedMagic1

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Just recently, there was a cosplay scene at a public venue in the Bay Area that was based around zombie fucking. I had a conversation with two friends earlier this week about whether that would do anything for us. My own answer is... a secret!

I got a cmail from a domme two days ago, inviting me to meet. I've accepted. I've asked her more or less the following questions in our email exchanges.

How is the economy treating your line of work?
Where would you like to take yourself in your life?
May I send you my phone number?

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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 5/2/2009 3:28:54 PM

PeonForHer

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May I send you my phone number?

That's quite good. I'll always send my number rather than ask for hers - I figure it'll be less of a security worry for her. But it still feels a little 'forward'. Very delicate touch you have there, RM.

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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 5/3/2009 5:39:59 AM

SnowRanger

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I like to trade numbers at that first "vanilla" meeting. Seems safer,

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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 5/3/2009 11:10:57 PM

DemonKia

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FR

Okay, this is sorta spammalicious in that I have one consistent comment (at the bottom) to make about marketing & dating across these several threads, but with 'regional variation' to keep it interesting for the casual bystanders . . . . .

But special to azjojoba's thread is that: OP, azjojoba, I 'get' that you wanna do what you wanna do, but I want you to be clear that I also understand that fidelity is really important to vast swathes of female humans around the planet (& even a healthy chunk o' the male population really is 'into' fidelity), from all kinds of walks of life . . . . . . Many of those are even poly in some way & there's still this overwhelming concern for fidelity . . . . .

Given that, there are some women who don't give a flying fig for fidelity, but I'd say 'out-&-organized' BDSM has a lower-than-average concentration of those kinds of persons. I suspect that there are places that are just for people fooling around on spouses or other long-term mates; in fact, I've heard tell of whole underground cultures of just that, where the thrill is in the cheating. You might try looking for that kinda thing, online; there may be some there who are also into doing kinky sex.

Just some of my opinions. Now that I know that you know, we can move on.

'5 Most Annoying Traits' thread posting on 'marketing' & 'dating' by moi, le daemon.

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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 5/4/2009 11:38:17 PM

azjojoba

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia

Given that, there are some women who don't give a flying fig for fidelity, but I'd say 'out-&-organized' BDSM has a lower-than-average concentration of those kinds of persons. I suspect that there are places that are just for people fooling around on spouses or other long-term mates; in fact, I've heard tell of whole underground cultures of just that, where the thrill is in the cheating. You might try looking for that kinda thing, online; there may be some there who are also into doing kinky sex.

So, as a first email do you think I should ask female doms if they believe in fidelity?

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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 5/4/2009 11:54:47 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia
Given that, there are some women who don't give a flying fig for fidelity, but I'd say 'out-&-organized' BDSM has a lower-than-average concentration of those kinds of persons.

And isn't it the epitome of irony that people stumble into the BDSM world thinking it's going to be the exact opposite!

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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 5/5/2009 12:10:02 AM

DemonKia

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Abso-freaking-lutely!

I also tend to think there's an 'eau de desperation' thing that goes on, like so:

(a) the seekers themselves are a little on the desperate side; (b) the sought-after are seen by the seekers as being potentially desperate; & (c) a lot of projective stuff gets swirled into the mix . . .. . . & voila, a desperation 'shake' . . . ..

It reminds me of similar that I've encountered with so-called 'fat admirers' & 'chubby chasers' -- sometimes they truly do appreciate heavier-than-average bodies, & sometimes they think they're 'fishing' in a pool of candidates with reduced chances & more reason to 'settle' . . . . .

If any of that made sense ... . .

& I know it might seem weird to the BDSM cognoscenti, cuz we know what hot, desirable, & scarce critters we are, but I truly think some can see us as simultaneously 'desperate' . . .. . . . Cuz, ya know, we can't just shop for subs (or whatever) at the corner market, so we must be desperate in seeking what we want . . . . . .

I'll be happy to take another swack at this explanation, tho' I admit it still has a lot of vague 'feelingness' about it for me . .... . It's a swirling intuition I've been having . . . . ..

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

And isn't it the epitome of irony that people stumble into the BDSM world thinking it's going to be the exact opposite!

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RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 5/6/2009 2:30:49 PM

KoolnSassy

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I think questions that show a sincere interest in who I am are good. I've found a way to bypass alot of rigamaroll. I have a short bio and questionnaire that I email to any boy who passes My first okay. If he gets through them, then we have someplace to go. If not, I haven't responded to ridiculous ploys. So far I'm enjoying this system. I don't have to reveal everything about Me on my profile, and when a boy does receive My bio, he'll be getting alot of information that will be helpful to him in terms of pleasing Me later.

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