A General Switch query about the mental side.

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

A General Switch query about the mental side.

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> A General Switch query about the mental side.

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

A General Switch query about the mental side. - 5/1/2009 6:24:54 PM

CeeSea

Posts: 9
Joined: 5/1/2009
Status: offline

Ok im going to try to word this as best as i can describe.

For the switches who keep the kink limited to the bedroom, how do you personally get into a submissive mindset, and how do you help yourself stay there if its wavering during play.

Im curious to see what methods/senarios people use.

And if it comes naturally, more power to you I say...or rather lack thereof.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: A General Switch query about the mental side. - 5/1/2009 8:13:01 PM

GeekFreak

Posts: 102
Joined: 4/24/2006
Status: offline

I'm not so much a "switch limited to the bedroom" as I was before...but I can answer this based on how I generally have been in such situations.

Get into a submissive mindset? Well...generally, my bottoming is preceded by me already having that "sub" feeling on that particular day/hour. For me, it tends to be days I'm less confident in myself...or tired...I just sort of want to hand it over to someone else for awhile. Now, if for some reason the partner requested, and I wasn't particularly in that mood yet, starting off simple with some visual/physical representations of submission help me. For example, if the partner came and wanted me to put on a collar, asked me to strip, then asked me to kneel...I think I'd just naturally "get into" it most of the time. Some times it may take more of these cues than at other times, but given a few minutes I think I'd eventually start enjoying (at least somewhat) the submission. I would also say the more enjoyable (to my personal tastes) the beginning acts of submission are, the more likely that trigger will go off. I'm a bondage fanatic, gags being my favorite of any particular bonage item. So...say my partner wanted to "top" me that evening...hopefully she would know me well enough to come along and maybe ask if I pop a ball gag in my mouth because she'd find it sexy.

(I think you get the idea...I'm only half paying attention to what I'm typing lol)

< Message edited by GeekFreak -- 5/1/2009 8:14:45 PM >

(in reply to CeeSea)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: A General Switch query about the mental side. - 5/3/2009 11:43:56 PM

scribeofclio

Posts: 43
Joined: 5/3/2009
Status: offline

For me, getting into a submissive mindset is kind like changing clothes. You just shrug off whatever you were wearing, and don the new outfit: No big deal, as long as the clothes suit the occasion. If you're trying to put on a ball gown for a garage sale, though, it can be challenging.

To make the metaphor clearer, make sure you have the ambiance right for submission. I could never go straight from vanilla life to bedroom submission -- the two worlds are just two different for me. If my partner and I put a little work into making me feel submissive, though, I have no trouble.

Sometimes, if you're playing the submissive role and you start to waiver (this can happen especially if you weren't entirely in a submissive mood to begin with) these things can help:

Your partner sternly telling you off/slapping you/cutting you/ what ever you kink is (For me it was having her grab my chin and yell at me).

Focusing on your partner's more dominant aspects. When I'm in relationships with Doms, I tend to keep myself in the scene by focusing on her/his powerful voice/ commanding posture, etc.

But to prevent all waivering, I really do suggest TONS of foreplay and scene-setting. That way the switch is really into the sex and less likely to get distracted.

(in reply to GeekFreak)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: A General Switch query about the mental side. - 5/4/2009 5:18:46 AM

ravennomore

Posts: 14
Joined: 2/16/2009
Status: offline

I always just tell myself internally a few times something that is relevent, " at this point my desires aren't my own", etc. I say it over and over a few times. But as mentioned before it is really just when I'm feeling it...in love, tired, sexually turned on for that. Of course having someone just take charge of you where there isn't much to do otherwise and fight the dominant side out of you is always a rush.

(in reply to scribeofclio)

Profile

Post #: 4