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Submissive Training - 5/4/2009 4:26:18 AM

ravennomore

Posts: 14
Joined: 2/16/2009
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I went to the submissive board first then realized that was NOT the place. I am a switch who is in training for submission to my master, my love. He is definitely my Dominant. I will only serve him though, to others I'm domme.
My question is...how many switches have done this and how difficult has it been/is it for you to deny that bratty/switchy side?
Writing this while, scratching and pulling at bulksome training collar, lol.

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RE: Submissive Training - 5/6/2009 7:45:53 AM

UglyTruth

Posts: 126
Joined: 7/14/2008
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I generally don't have a problem being a sub to one person while being dominant to another. It's dependent upon the others' personalities. I haven't really found one person who I could really switch with.

(in reply to ravennomore)

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RE: Submissive Training - 5/6/2009 8:26:09 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ravennomore

I went to the submissive board first then realized that was NOT the place. I am a switch who is in training for submission to my master, my love. He is definitely my Dominant. I will only serve him though, to others I'm domme.
My question is...how many switches have done this and how difficult has it been/is it for you to deny that bratty/switchy side?
Writing this while, scratching and pulling at bulksome training collar, lol.

This is an interesting question, I've wondered how people do it as well; I'm a Dom and just can't imagine how someone gets into a submissive state of mind if they are Dominant. I'm really interested in the emotional effects this must have-denying Your Dominant side must be quite a strain?.I'd be really interested to know if there was much internal conflict and how it showed itsself.

I'll come back to this thread when O/others have had a chance to post.

(in reply to ravennomore)

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RE: Submissive Training - 5/6/2009 8:56:09 AM

DomArtist1

Posts: 10
Joined: 4/30/2009
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It is actually quite common for a switch to be submissive with their lover, but a dominant to others outside of that relationship and/or as an extension of that relationship. My late sub was a submissive to only me, but a professional femdom to others. This is how the power exchanged worked best for us. Personally I couldn’t imagine being submissive to anyone, but for her it was how she expressed her feelings and emotions for me, it was an escape that she enjoyed.

Now with this comes a lot of pre-arranged agreements a limitations. Just as I was the only one she submitted to, I was only to top her. Being that I’m not submissive in any way, in the few times she brought another female sub into our bedroom, remained only dominant to my sub during those sessions, while she topped the sub she introduced. I would simply watch and sometimes be used as a tool of her dominance, but the power exchange between us remained just between the two of us, and not the second sub.

Does that make sense?

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)

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RE: Submissive Training - 5/6/2009 11:13:16 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
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Yes it makes a lot of sense. Thanks. :)

(in reply to DomArtist1)

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RE: Submissive Training - 5/13/2009 9:50:27 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HalloweenWhite
This is an interesting question, I've wondered how people do it as well; I'm a Dom and just can't imagine how someone gets into a submissive state of mind if they are Dominant. I'm really interested in the emotional effects this must have-denying Your Dominant side must be quite a strain?.I'd be really interested to know if there was much internal conflict and how it showed itsself.

Heh, to me, the the question is interesting from the other direction. It seems to me that all of us go through our daily lives both submitting and dominating as a routine matter of course. For instance, anyone who has ever been a mid-level manager is pretty intimately familiar with this scenario. It seems to me that I would submit to someone I found worthy of submission and dominate someone I found worth of dominating. I don't think of that even as particularly switch. I'm dom right now with Carol. Who knows what else I might be with someone else... vanilla? sub? something else?

Why must I "deny my dominant side". Why can't I be a complex bundle of facets and dimensions, just like most people, and allow different facets to express in different circumstances -- just like we all do all the time?

< Message edited by leadership527 -- 5/13/2009 9:51:27 AM >

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: Submissive Training - 6/1/2009 9:15:15 AM

deviliousplaym8t

Posts: 8
Joined: 4/25/2009
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i have never posted here before but i had to comment on this....i am in the same spot....i am totally dominant in my everyday life and in most of my relationships but am exploring the sub scene with my husband....we are both new.....so he doesn't know what he is doing and more than me....that is scary in a dom...but he is reserching and reading like helll....it was my idea and kind of blind sided him....lol...19years of marriage....we know i am a switch and are trying to figure out how this works in our relationship...

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RE: Submissive Training - 6/1/2009 11:47:36 AM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
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Being exactly who I am with a partner who is being exactly who they are and the two melding beautifully is, well, a beautiful thing.
I found myself cringing when you seemed to equate brattyness and switcheyness; the two, imo and ime and in my me, don't have any inherent linkages.
Davan

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May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
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It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
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(in reply to deviliousplaym8t)

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RE: Submissive Training - 6/1/2009 1:41:00 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Why must I "deny my dominant side". Why can't I be a complex bundle of facets and dimensions, just like most people, and allow different facets to express in different circumstances -- just like we all do all the time?

I SO agree! A dear friend of mine recently came out as a switch and it got me to thinking, life is just too complex, too full of wonderful things to so limit yourself and I just don't get why people are terrified of accepting that. Except it is scary accepting some things but that is perhaps what makes some things quite precious.

(in reply to leadership527)

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