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you settle for small but I want BIG - 5/4/2009 4:27:21 AM

GYPZYQUEEN

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Out and about in your vanilla/Ds life do you find some men do not wish to
know that some woman may prefer a larger or at least average cock..for many purposes??

That is to say..they ask " IS it big enough?" "HOW does it compare?"and generally think it is bigger than it is..
and discuss how they have a tongue to "make up for it"..or
"Its not all about the cock" ..they have "technique"
adn are going on so much I know there is some kind of problem

BUT then..

when/if discussing "strap- on play or man on man
the 1st or 2nd question ........
I always get is
" HOW BIG IS IT? " or "HOW BIG DO YOU WANT YOUR BOY TO GO?" " and the comments
" I want to be filled with big cock" " I would love a huge one"

*Now is this thinking bigger is better..? for them?...
*Do men think women should make do but THEY want bigger?

** also some of the men asking HOW BIG? were also the ones who had small themselves and did not want a comment on it
or wanted to skip past this in any way..

yes I understand that in BDsM it is not all about the cock..
I had a guy with 3"

but I find the above very annoying for some reason..
and am trying to figure out why

maybe I feel a sub acting in such as way is a "DO -Me" and cares not if I have preferences...

GQ

< Message edited by GYPZYQUEEN -- 5/4/2009 4:31:29 AM >

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RE: you settle for small but I want BIG - 5/4/2009 5:04:49 AM

SlaveBlutarsky

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I can honestly say I've never worried about the size of my schlong, and at this point, I'd prefer her's to be as small as possible. I'm delicate back there.

I don't know why guys get all weird about it, if they spent the time they worry about their size actually trying to utilize what they have better, they'd be much happier with the results.

My last serious girlfriend always set me up that she was a size queen before we had sex for the first time and then liked to humiliate me about her wanting more. That lasted about about a month into us being intimate when she realized that she could be a squirter for the first time. After that size didn't matter one bit.

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RE: you settle for small but I want BIG - 5/4/2009 6:46:41 AM

Drifa

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From: Rural Texas
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There was a good thread a while back, Why are subs eyes bigger then their buttholes? that really discussed the thing about why a fellow would want to be pegged with some outsized dildo.

The key observation, I think, was made by Trunks1056: "the mental image/fantasy of seeing myself taking something so large was such a great turn on, that the reality of what I was getting didn't set in until I tried to use it".

(My favorite quote from the whole thread, though, was BoiJen's "enough time and enough lube and you can back a semitruck into a mailbox")

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RE: you settle for small but I want BIG - 5/4/2009 7:49:51 AM

lilshmekel

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Deep down all "average men" know that, yes there is bigger out there that she may prefer. But it takes a truly tiny man to let that ruin a relationship.

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RE: you settle for small but I want BIG - 5/4/2009 8:39:15 AM

MsDDom

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quote:

maybe I feel a sub acting in such as way is a "DO -Me" and cares not if I have preferences...

you could be right...i have been approach by the little dick boys want to make it know that they have a "virgin ass". the flag goes up and i think how would they satisfy a Mistress/Domme if she so desired a nice sized dick? and that "i have a tongue to make up for it"??? if they have a short dick, their tongue is even shorter. they present themselves w/ a 4" but want to be fisted in the ass.

i don't get it myself...perhaps it is just simple greed.

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RE: you settle for small but I want BIG - 5/4/2009 9:59:23 AM

LafayetteLady

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Ok, even though I'm not a mistress, I also prefer a bigger one. I actually laughed when I read the post because men always seem to think that they can equate a tongue and a cock. Oral sex can be nice, sure, but really unless you have at least a 5" rock hard tongue, it just isn't the same! Also because the young man who introduced me to the lifestyle was....well not packing much in his pants, but he really did have many other talents and made up for the lack with larger toys.

But it did get me to thinking about the question. Is it possible that it has something to do with the fact that they can't change what they have in their pants? Having a small penis isn't something they can do anything about. They can, and should, of course, know how to work with what they have, and use other methods as necessary to satisfy. But why should that change what they enjoy (assuming they are hoping for a big one)? If a flat chested lesbian loves women with large breasts, is she wrong to want that when she doesn't have any to offer of her own? I realize it isn't exactly the same, and I would likely get annoyed with a man who wanted a 9" strap on who was only able to offer me 3", but the poor guy is stuck with what he was given.

I'm just kind of equating it with how not only are we all different, but that many of us are seeking different things in relationships. Just a thought.

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RE: you settle for small but I want BIG - 5/4/2009 10:30:28 AM

MsDDom

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quote:

actually laughed when I read the post because men always seem to think that they can equate a tongue and a cock. Oral sex can be nice, sure, but really unless you have at least a 5" rock hard tongue, it just isn't the same!

LOL! seeeee...!
Hell, an 8" tongue!!

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RE: you settle for small but I want BIG - 5/4/2009 11:57:13 AM

MadameMarque

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I can see it both ways.

The boys who want to know what's big enough or whether their skills can compensate, they just want to know if they can please you. Whatever they're born with, what can they do - get bigger? A man's got more to offer than the sum of his parts, so to speak.

On the other hand, I hear what you're saying. I'm on another forum where the question was posed to the women who are attracted to males, ~ what are the first three things you notice about a man, physically, that makes him attractive or unattractive to you? The guys were quicker to answer than the women, so anxious were they to define what women find attractive. There was a great resistance from some people, to any suggestion that a female might use any purely physical criteria, to find a male attractive. And when some of the women listed cock size, one guy (who posts frequently to the forum) actually corrected them! saying that that's not what women want.

To quote my own rant (@.@) in another thread here (Size Matters?):

I realize it's not consoling to confirm to men that size matters. But I also find it offensive when sex educators continue to put forth the misinformation that size doesn't matter to women in their experience of sex, physically, if not visually/mentally, and gynecologists insist that the cervix is insensate - which it is not.

While the insides of insects are dissected and examined and classified, you'd think from all the lack of information the medical field has on a woman's parts, that it was an unexplored cave.

A woman doesn't have to be a size queen thrilled by the look and idea of size, in order to physically experience the difference size makes.

I will add to that that by the time I feel strongly enough about a man, he could be any size.

It's just that on a broader scale, I resent females being perpetually expected to set aside their own sexuality and pleasure, in order to put male ego and male sexuality first - even to the point of ignoring both women's own reports about their desires and experiences, and medical evidence to the contrary!

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RE: you settle for small but I want BIG - 5/4/2009 12:58:02 PM

GYPZYQUEEN

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yes!!MM!!!

"It's hard to be an autonomous woman in a PHALLOCENTRIC world"

GQ

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RE: you settle for small but I want BIG - 5/4/2009 3:04:01 PM

ShaktiSama

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Fast reply to the OP: interesting observation. I had never really considered the irony of a man wanting to receive a much bigger penetration than he can provide, or run into one who argued "My size doesn't matter" while simultaneously demanding a strap-on the size of a semi truck.

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RE: you settle for small but I want BIG - 5/4/2009 3:53:22 PM

AlexandraLynch

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It's why I do prefer bi men with a little experience on the bi side as subs....you don't get this bullshit about wanting a really huge dick, because they have some practical experience there. (grin)

I have always said I don't need a sub to be hung like a horse to be happy with him sexually. Too big, and it becomes less of a multi-purpose tool, and if I'm tender round the top back of the vault, which I get at certain times of the month, I don't have nearly the fun I'd have with a slightly less well endowed fellow.

That said, the two best lovers I ever had....one was nine inches long and thick and kinky as hell....taught me I liked several things I hadn't even contemplated. The other hasn't gotten an erection in the time I've known him, due to diabetic complications. So it isn't the size of the ship, entirely.

But I do like a guy with a moderately large tool. It fits me nicely. It's just not required.

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RE: you settle for small but I want BIG - 5/4/2009 10:06:47 PM

DavanKael

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I'm pretty clear (It's in my profile and I'll state it rather readily) that anything less than average in terms of male endowment is just not something that I wish to learn to deal with. Average or larger is acceptable. Less than average, not.
The first time I saw a penis in person (I was 15 with an 18 year old boyfriend who wouldn't keep his pants on) I distinctly remember thinking that I thought penises were supposed to be larger. Thankfully, when I met my ex-, the first person with whom I had sex, I was pleased to see that his looked much more like what I thought was supposed to be the case. :>
As for men and strap-ons, I've found men to be relatively anxious about the strap-on being too large. Occasionally playing with really big toys (They, I, or us together) is fun but truly, I don't like to use enormous toys as a matter of course.
Also, as a female who is small in stature, while I can sport a big, thick 9" strap-on (And have), I prefer something in the upper average, moderate gorth range as it's more aesthetic.
Davan

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RE: you settle for small but I want BIG - 5/4/2009 10:13:09 PM

LafayetteLady

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I keep coming back to this thread and thinking about the "whys". I'm not a size queen, but meet the national average. Girth is usually more important anyway. But back to the subject. I wonder....

Could these smaller men be looking for the larger strap ons because they know they are packing inferior equipment and therefore want to show themselves as "more submissive" (hate that term, love to figure out a new one) by taking something monstrous? I really just can't believe that all of them are looking for the monster cock strap ons simply for their own pleasure. It just seems to me that somehow there is a subconscious compensating going on.

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RE: you settle for small but I want BIG - 5/5/2009 6:25:40 AM

amoryblane

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

I keep coming back to this thread and thinking about the "whys". I'm not a size queen, but meet the national average. Girth is usually more important anyway. But back to the subject. I wonder....

Could these smaller men be looking for the larger strap ons because they know they are packing inferior equipment and therefore want to show themselves as "more submissive" (hate that term, love to figure out a new one) by taking something monstrous? I really just can't believe that all of them are looking for the monster cock strap ons simply for their own pleasure. It just seems to me that somehow there is a subconscious compensating going on.

Rather than saying "more submissive" (whatever *that* means, agree with You, hate the term), I think You can just safely assume they're trying to impress the Domme with what they're willing to take for Her. This is probably true of men who are especially insecure about anything, not just how well hung they are. Long ago, when I was insecure about how much younger I was than my first Domme/play partner, I tried to impress Her by bragging about how much I could take. She took me at my word and...from then on I've been appreciably more realistic in my appraisals of just how much I want to deal with back there.

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