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Tell me about collars - 5/8/2009 9:28:01 AM   
Shylahgirl


Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline 		I want to know the purpose of the different types of collars.

Yea, I know what it means to be collared and owned. I wear Daddies permanent collar, but there are others as well.

I know, the meaning is up to those involved in the relationship. What I want is the general meaning. If someone says "I wear Master XYZ's online collar" what are the protocols of interacting with that person.

I have seen new people in the community go to parties wearing a "protection" collar... They may or may not be in service  for the night. They may or may not want a D/s relationship in general... what is the protocol with protection collars?

What is the training collar, how do you treat someone wearing a training collar as a posed to a permanent collar? How does the training collar differ from the collar of consideration.

What about "online collars" for those who use them, how are the same or different the real time collars?

Tell me about other types of collars and the protocols they should require from the rest of the community, in your opinion.

Shylah

< Message edited by Shylahgirl -- 5/8/2009 9:58:37 AM >
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RE: Tell me about collars - 5/8/2009 9:33:32 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		A collar is only as the person issuing one.  There is no offical guide to collars.  Some people use them, some don't.  Some go around the neck, some do not.  Some are metal, some are not.  Some are pretty, some are not.  As an example, training collars.  Some people use that as a description of someone who is under training - me?  It's just an excuse to wear a collar without having to own or be owned with any responsibility.  A training collar to us would be a high necked collar that holds the neck in a way that cannot be moved but it elongated and stretched.  But you will get other people disagreeing with that.
 
the.dark.

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RE: Tell me about collars - 5/8/2009 9:37:09 AM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		Everyone you ask will have a different opinion not only of the collars meaning but of their legitimacy. Personally, I only believe in 2 collars, consideration and permanent. Online is meaningless, again in my personal opinion, as are protection and training and that stuff.

The collar only means what the two of you believe it means, th eone giving and the one receiving. Outside fo those two people, the collar has no meaning, except as interpreted by others as "taken".

DV


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RE: Tell me about collars - 5/8/2009 9:37:20 AM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		As far as I'm aware, there's no set standard, despite what you might have heard.

Its down to the individual Dom, I'd say. For example. I have one level of Collar. you wear it, or you don't (and that's for ME to decide ).

Online collars are (and this is my personal opinion only) a joke. Unenforcable affectations by those who play at Dom/sub games on chatrooms and the like.

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RE: Tell me about collars - 5/8/2009 9:43:29 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		In my opinion ONLY all those different collars are just plain silly. Honestly, you are either collared, or you are not. Having said that Daddy and i want to start using a leather collar for playtime, but i guess thats not what the OP is asking.

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RE: Tell me about collars - 5/8/2009 9:51:15 AM   
HK47


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/12/2009
Status: offline 		There are many, from the Victorian look of velvet, to jewelry and it runs the gamut, from a silver choker, to gold, in nearly any style. I've seen decorative bronze work , copied from museum pieces, to contemporary design works, using leathers, and either silver or gold.

Some have a single feature, though while unseen, for the most part, they have been locked by a jeweler.

They are all collars, yet they're individual to the Domme/ Dom, and to the woman/ man wearing it .

< Message edited by HK47 -- 5/8/2009 10:33:16 AM >

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RE: Tell me about collars - 5/8/2009 11:24:57 AM   
MarsBonfire


Posts: 1034
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline 		Collars are like rings... they can have any number of functions, from just keepsake reminders, to symbols of lifelong commitment. I've seen collars handed out that were just mere "flags" to when a sub was to consider themselves in-scene. Others that were issued with all the ritual flair of a Catholic wedding.

It comes down to what you, and the person you're in a relationship with, agree it means. And how much you honor that agreement is entirely up to the two of you* as well.

*and all partners involved, depending.

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RE: Tell me about collars - 5/8/2009 12:29:11 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl


I have seen new people in the community go to parties wearing a "protection" collar... They may or may not be in service  for the night. They may or may not want a D/s relationship in general... what is the protocol with protection collars?


I can only speak of how these things are used in our household, which may or may not correspond to how they're used in other people's households, if they're used at all. Our household has used an occasional "protection" collar, which, for us, is used for a servant in "special circumstances". We've occasionally had someone either under consideration or in training who had special requirements because of health or well-being requirements where xhe could not serve under certain situations, or required special dispensations. Most of the time, these servants would start out with us in a "protection" collar, which limited their service in the household to very specific areas until everyone had a chance to adjust to their special needs. The same thing happens if we have a servant who, say, strains hir back or has surgery and who is placed on restricted duty. The "protection" collar comes with special instructions and limits the capacity for guests, visitors, and distant household members who may not be familiar with the person's circumstances to accidentally require service that is unable to be performed under the circumstances.

quote:

What is the training collar, how do you treat someone wearing a training collar as a posed to a permanent collar? How does the training collar differ from the collar of consideration.


For us, the difference between the 'training' collar and the 'consideration' collar is that a consideration collar is only used for a new servant who has not been accepted by the household as a regular member, but who has agreed to begin the 3-6 month 'review' process to decide whether xhe's a good fit with us. It designates a servant who has not gone before the House Council to be voted on. Servants in consideration collars are allowed to continue communications with others that they may be considering (since, for us, consideration works both ways) until they agree to go before the Council and be voted on -- at that point, they're asked to let any other potential situations know that they have made a decision to seek a position in our closed household.

We don't use a training "collar", but use a training tag--a luggage-tag type affair that is attached to the collar and tells what the servant is in training for, at what level xhe is training, who hir trainer is, and whether there are any restrictions on hir practice of what xhe is learning. The training tags were something we used when we were a larger household, for any servant who is undergoing training, at -any- point in hir service to the household, not just newcomers (most of our servants undergo regular training in new skills). It designates someone who is practicing at what xhe is learning, but who is not currently considered completely facile in the new skill. We used them a lot more when we were larger -- in a small household, they're really not necessary for us because just about everyone knows who is training for what, and how far along they are, etc. If we have a family member coming in from a distance, though, and have someone starting out in a new training area, we may slip a training tag on so that the visitor(s) will know and have a chance to test the student's skills. Sometimes the input from a neutral or outside observer can be really valuable to a training situation.

Dame Calla


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RE: Tell me about collars - 5/8/2009 2:55:00 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		The original place where I saw it written that there were 3 types of collars and they each had their own significance, meaning, and color was in The Steele Door web site.  Since then when I see anyone discuss those types of collars they often refer to Mistress Steele.  My personal belief is that those are the types of collars that Mistress Steele uses and by describing them on her web site others began to think that those collars were the norm for the whole community. 

There are as many types of collars as a submissive and Dominant can imagine and find a need to use.  Other than that, there are no norms, no types of collars that are used by all, or even most. 

My personal opinion is that one is either collared or not.  I never felt a need for a protection collar, a training collar, consideration collar, a velcro collar, or anything other type of  partial collar.  I am committed to a relationship, collared in all ways, not just certain ways to my Dominant. 

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RE: Tell me about collars - 5/8/2009 6:49:06 PM   
Joseff


Posts: 505
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline 		I don't have any experiance with "protection" collars, but I am aware of situations where an unattatched sub will be "under Protection" of a specific Dom. From what I understand, the sub wants to attend parties, etc. but does not want to be approached by others. Sometimes the protocalls of the party restrict unattended subs, or perhaps other similar situations. I would assume that a "protection" collar has something to do with that.

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RE: Tell me about collars - 5/8/2009 7:24:42 PM   
ZenDragoness


Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline 		The way CallaFirestormBW described the use of the protection collar, is one i read nearly ten years ago,
it was also a bigger household or family. Because that description and the intentions made sense to me,
i accepted the idea of such a collar.

Later on i learned, that the p collar is mostly a joke. I find that sad, because the idea is a good one.


We here have no collar. But the principle of ownership is not foreign to us.


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RE: Tell me about collars - 5/8/2009 8:48:01 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline 		I'm suprised that no one has brought up public collars yet.

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RE: Tell me about collars - 5/8/2009 9:12:08 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		The difference between a "training" collar and an "ownership" collar is that one is worn by a slave who is Our trainee (in training), and the other is worn by a slave who We own. Sometimes the slave is still in training while also being owned, but usually the trainee slave wears a collar from Us prior to becoming owned by one or more of Us. The trainee collar is thicker and wider with a large tag on it that says "trainee" or "in training", and the ownership collar is thinner and more discreet and must be worn daily or fulltime.

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RE: Tell me about collars - 5/8/2009 10:56:25 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

The difference between a "training" collar and an "ownership" collar is that one is worn by a slave who is Our trainee (in training), and the other is worn by a slave who We own. Sometimes the slave is still in training while also being owned, but usually the trainee slave wears a collar from Us prior to becoming owned by one or more of Us. The trainee collar is thicker and wider with a large tag on it that says "trainee" or "in training", and the ownership collar is thinner and more discreet and must be worn daily or fulltime.

Oh wow, COOL...i have always wanted the answer to this! Did you learn this in the Academy?


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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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RE: Tell me about collars - 5/9/2009 6:57:04 AM   
Interesdom


Posts: 197
Joined: 5/24/2004
From: England
Status: offline 		You have said it, really:
quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl
I know, the meaning is up to those involved in the relationship.
There are no general meanings that are universal enough for anyone to be able to define. Well, I suppose the collar a vicar wears could be defined but I don't suppose you're wondering about that collar. In the past 20 years, I have collared three women, each without giving the collar any specific title and each time it having very different, specific and personal meaning.
Here's some cynical answers:
  • An online collar: something worn around the neck of a person who likes to pretend they are owned, even though they can't be sure of the gender that owns them.
  • A collar of consideration: given in a similar way to a the old "oh alright then, here's an engagement ring, now can we fuck?"
  • Protection collar: a device used on a woman who thinks she is a sub, to keep away other horny old men. Also protects her from getting involved with a dom who might actually know what he's doing and be able to make her submit without any devices at all.
  • A training collar: a cheap variant of a real collar because no dom in his right mind would spend over $60 on a girl when he might discover that he is too incompetent to train her to meet his needs. Would he?
  • An ownership collar: the most coveted of all, especially by those who don't realise that if they are owned, it isn't even their collar. It might be a symbol more meaningful than a wedding ring - or it might be a toy that looks and feels pretty for a while.

There really are too many variations to get serious about this. Even with those who say they are Gorean, one cannot be too sure about the meaning of a collar, since some follow the Gorean ethic more seriously, realistically or ethically than others. At fetish events, and even munches, dominants or switches can be seen in collars. You might make some assumptions but there is little that you can be sure of.

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RE: Tell me about collars - 5/9/2009 10:31:49 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		Training collars are to keep the Dom from falling off, like training wheels on a bike. Specifically, they're for newbie Dominants who haven't actually tried it in person yet, so are playing around online where they can't get hurt or hurt anyone else physically.

Also, there are fashion collars, and collars which are used for bondage, or to set the move, but which don't symbolise a relationship.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 5/9/2009 10:32:58 AM >

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RE: Tell me about collars - 5/9/2009 8:18:23 PM   
SIRLOINSTEAK


Posts: 84
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline 		I personally like super gaudy collars. Like everyone in the ROOM knows she is GOTH or something ;0 Mix that with a nice dress and no other GOTH look, is "PRICELESS'.....

IMHO, any of these high-fallluuutin women in expensive dresses (RED CARPET, FAMOUS) woutd look good in a GAUDY COLLAR DOG COLLAR WITH CHEAP METAL ATTACHED.....instead of a pearl necklace.....

If anyone asks, "we were going for WORST LOOK EVER, sorry, people still think my girl is HOTT!!" ;0 "HAVE TO TRY NEXT YEAR"

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RE: Tell me about collars - 5/9/2009 8:21:21 PM   
SIRLOINSTEAK


Posts: 84
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline 		next year, no collar, but a ring thru her nose with attached small high tensile chain attached to belt so have hands free....she's got to stay within range of me, and have fun of playing with chain, knocking drinks over, etc....

COLLARS are not the only option.....BTW

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RE: Tell me about collars - 5/11/2009 12:52:38 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Original: Interesdom

An online collar: something worn around the neck of a person who likes to pretend they are owned, even though they can't be sure of the gender that owns them.


I really had to comment on the bolded segment of this sentence. Aside from the vile perturbation of grammar (the phrase should be "...even though they can't be sure of the gender of the person that owns them.") there is the whole issue of "what does it matter, especially in an electronic-media-only relationship, what the actual gender is of the person on the other end? If the person is portraying hirself as male, and someone is perceiving the individual as male, and there is NO interaction of body parts going on, what is the issue?

On a second, similar note, what difference does gender make in authority-based relationships anyway? The only importance of gender is for sex. It has nothing to do with obedience, submission, leadership, or the capacity to keep servants or be kept -as- a servant.

Kinky sex is kinky sex. Kinky sex -does- sort of depend on having someone that one is sexually attracted to to make it work. Authority-transfer, though, does NOT depend on having someone of a particular gender. All it requires is having the proper attitude on both sides of the kneel so that one party is prepared to take up the authority laid down by the other. I guess I've gotten somewhat snippy about the sheer number of people who say that they are looking to be involved in an authority-transfer relationship, when what they're -really- talking about is finding someone to have kinky sex with. To me, the two things are like trains on parallel tracks... they may both be trains, but they're not necessarily important to each other, or heading for the same destination.

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 5/11/2009 12:54:19 PM >

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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

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RE: Tell me about collars - 5/12/2009 9:06:21 AM   
MsDDom


Posts: 368
Joined: 1/1/2009
From: GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

The difference between a "training" collar and an "ownership" collar is that one is worn by a slave who is Our trainee (in training), and the other is worn by a slave who We own. Sometimes the slave is still in training while also being owned, but usually the trainee slave wears a collar from Us prior to becoming owned by one or more of Us. The trainee collar is thicker and wider with a large tag on it that says "trainee" or "in training", and the ownership collar is thinner and more discreet and must be worn daily or fulltime.

some do not see the significance in a training collar...i do. it is great u shared this.

thing is, collars should not just be passed out to anyone who seeks to be collared, nor should someone accept a collar just b/c it is being given...that is how they are devalued. perhaps that is why many people feel like their significance is void...folks collaring people like picking team mate for an elementary kickball game. who would hold them in high regard?

when the subject comes up it creates a variety of views...and i agree that there is not standard for using them or not. but they have meaning if one does choose to use them.


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