Why is it so hard to find my Master? (Full Version)

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NewJerzeySubGirl -> Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/9/2009 7:26:40 PM)

Hello everyone!
i know what i want. i know what i seek. But for some reason i cannot find what i am looking for. i am seeking an attractive Dom Male, who will control my mind but at the same time, i love the physical apsect of being dominated! I recently experienced being completely bound, tied up, ball gaged, and used! i loved every minute of it! For some reason it is so hard to find the attraction and the sexual and mental aspect of it all :(
I was married for a whopping 6 months! I can't ever go back to that Vanilla Lifestyle, even though I tried so hard. Its just NOT me!
I need to find my match, My Master! WITH the attraction!! HELP!



Miwsi -> RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/9/2009 7:36:19 PM)

Just like finding "the one", some of us find that person, others just... settle.

Many people die not finding that ever so romanticized Soul Mate. Hell, I am sure that most marriages are full of people who just settle... and feel now they made their bed they must lie in it.

Then there are those of us who divorce.

I wish you luck finding The One who moves you. I thought I found that person, but apparently I was wrong.



breatheasone -> RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/9/2009 7:39:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Miwsi

Just like finding "the one", some of us find that person, others just... settle.

Many people die not finding that ever so romanticized Soul Mate. Hell, I am sure that most marriages are full of people who just settle... and feel now they made their bed they must lie in it.

Then there are those of us who divorce.

I wish you luck finding The One who moves you. I thought I found that person, but apparently I was wrong.


Yes, you would be correct.



Jeptha -> RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/9/2009 8:02:24 PM)


Seems like you should be beating those guys off with a stick.

How are you going about this search?

Maybe you're looking in the wrong places or something.

In the meanwhile, relax and enjoy the scenery. Think of it like a wine tasting where you get to know the different vintages n' stuff before you make a selection, as opposed to chugging down some Bartles & James (not that that might not have its place.)



DarkSteven -> RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/9/2009 8:10:00 PM)

Suggestions, based on your profile:

1. Add a picture.  It does not have to show your face.  But it will both give an idea what you look like (we men are visual), and it will make your profile come up in a picture search.

2. Tone it down.  "I do have pictures to share but not publically due to my career and social status. If you do not have pictures to share with me, i don't have anytime." would sound much better "Please send me a picture and I'll respond with one of mine."

3. You're only looking for play sessions.  First, this will rule out any men who might be looking for more.  Second, this makes me wonder if you have a bf/husband right now.

4. "Ps... Any Dom man that has LOL in his profile about anything, dont bother!"

Why?  You have some vision of Mr. Perfect, and he doesn't use that term.

Well, I'm a Dom, and I'll put anything into my profile that I think reflects me.

Overall, I get the feeling that you have your scene set up the way you want, and want to dictate terms.  You're also demanding someone especially skilled and experienced.

You have a right to be picky.  But it shouldn't surprise you that it's taking a while.




NewJerzeySubGirl -> RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/9/2009 8:33:34 PM)

Your right... im not going to argue with you at all.



NewJerzeySubGirl -> RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/9/2009 8:37:03 PM)

I took your advise, edited my wording and posted a pic :) With sunglasses of course LOL .. better than nothing :)



peppermint -> RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/9/2009 8:46:30 PM)

I didn't find it hard.  Found my Dominant after I stopped looking on the internet.  We met at the 3rd event I attended.  



NihilusZero -> RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/9/2009 8:51:11 PM)

Finding a mate/partner isn't quite like clothes shopping. A lot of it boils down to timing. Others have already given you advice as to how to get our profile more exposure...although that may not necessarily translate into you getting to your goal any faster, and you may find yourself swimming in lakes of suitors, but you seem to be genuinely aware of what you want and that's the most useful tool to have in your search.



Aileen1968 -> RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/9/2009 8:51:35 PM)

Ummm...unless you've had a profile under another name, you've only been here for one month. That's not a lot of time at all.



peppermint -> RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/9/2009 8:58:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Ummm...unless you've had a profile under another name, you've only been here for one month. That's not a lot of time at all.


This is the age of instant gratification.  If you want something, you want it NOW.  Who wants to work toward getting it or set goals that might take whole days to accomplish? 

Okay.  Sorry.  It's been a long day.



NewJerzeySubGirl -> RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/9/2009 9:11:40 PM)

Actually, I had a stalker and had to change my whole profile, so please dont judge! I have been on this site for years! I'm not sure if you remember Amayos, but I was a sub to him for 3 years. I actually found him here. Thats where it all started... Now, looking for more.



peppermint -> RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/9/2009 9:17:00 PM)

I really do think you should get off the internet and locate your local munch or group.  There wasn't one near me that I could go to, however, I planned vacations around munches I could attend. 

Try this web site to find groups and organizations near you.

http://www.drkdesyre.com/meetppl/orgs/orgsnewjersey.html#NJ



kinkypuppy2 -> RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/9/2009 9:18:22 PM)

Patience, patience and more patience.

You may have to go threw a bunch  of wannabes, you may wait for years.
2nd suggestion don't try so hard. get involved in your local Bdsm community, go to munches let others see who you really are.



NewJerzeySubGirl -> RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/9/2009 9:27:53 PM)

LOL call me a newbee, what the the heck is a "munchy"?



sweetsub1957 -> RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/9/2009 9:41:21 PM)

It sounds like you are looking for the Perfect Man and the Perfect Dom.  There's nothing wrong with wanting that, but i think being in a hurry won't make it happen any faster.  Plus, if you make a list of all the things that are really important to you and prioritize what's on that list, you might find out that some of the things on the bottom of the list just aren't as life-and-death important as they used to be, as long as you get what's on the top.  Maybe that's "settling," maybe not, but you'll probably have to wait longer to "get it all."  Good luck.



califsue -> RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/9/2009 9:42:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NewJerzeySubGirl

LOL call me a newbee, what the the heck is a "munchy"?


A munch is a meeting of like minded individuals that usually meet in a restaurant to ask questions, meet others who are into bdsm/kink.

From Wikipedia:

munch (short for burger munch) is a low-pressure social gathering for people involved in or interested in BDSM, usually at a restaurant. When available, munches often use a private room. In the UK, the venue is usually a pub, and people are free to arrive and leave within the specified hours. The primary purpose is socializing, though some munches also have announcements from local organizations. Munches often help those who are curious about the lifestyle meet others who may be able to help them become more comfortable and better informed. Munches can also be a place to get advice about or pass on anecdotes about BDSM experiences.
Unlike a play party, most munches are casual affairs that exclude fetish attire or BDSM play, though a rare few include covert Master/slave interactions or other play. Some munches may have a specific focus, such as spirituality or whips. Others may be restricted to a specific group, such as women or submissives.




LaTigresse -> RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/10/2009 5:13:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NewJerzeySubGirl

Hello everyone!
i know what i want. i know what i seek. But for some reason i cannot find what i am looking for. i am seeking an attractive Dom Male, who will control my mind but at the same time, i love the physical apsect of being dominated! I recently experienced being completely bound, tied up, ball gaged, and used! i loved every minute of it! For some reason it is so hard to find the attraction and the sexual and mental aspect of it all :(
I was married for a whopping 6 months! I can't ever go back to that Vanilla Lifestyle, even though I tried so hard. Its just NOT me!
I need to find my match, My Master! WITH the attraction!! HELP!


I have to say that the tone of your words and some of the facts do not gel at all. You come across as a naive, and much younger, inexperienced girl. If indeed you served Amayos for 3 years, I suggest you begin to project yourself in a manner that reflects that experience.

Patience is definitely required if you are going to restrict your search to the internet.



RavenMuse -> RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/10/2009 6:47:55 AM)

Your profile says nothing of who you are, it is far too short and the bulk of it is explaining why you don't have a picture and requesting Doms send you pictures.

Those kind of half-assed no effort profiles are ten a penny on here. Even if it was in the right location I wouldn't give it more than a cursory glance before moving to the next. In an active locale such as here in London, experienced Masters/Doms and Tops, those who are known and respected for their experience have no lack of prospective playpartners (Last time I looked for a one off playpartner it took Me just over 12 hours from starting the search to starting the play!) if you want to catch their interest then you will have to put more effort into showing that there is an interesting enough person there to warrant their attention.

If you don't put the effort in then why should They!



DarkSteven -> RE: Why is it so hard to find my Master? (5/10/2009 8:54:18 AM)

RavenMuse, she did have more of a profile.  However, in response to my comments, she opted to delete almost all of it instead of rewriting it.

I agree that she needs to put in more.



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