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limits - 2/5/2006 7:03:13 AM   
lilliebitch


Posts: 29
Joined: 9/16/2005
Status: offline 		hey everyone ive got yet another question, when asked what your limits are and one is blood, do you consider your period as blood related?.
i ask as i do considerate apart of my blood limits and wonder if anyone else does . i have been chatting with someone and i stated blood was a limit and when he instructed me not to use sanitary items and let it flow freely i took a giant step back and then this person got angry and "dismissed me cause i said no. im feeling a bit confused . please some insight?
thank you
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: limits - 2/5/2006 7:28:21 AM   
kessia


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/19/2005
From: Upstate NY
Status: offline 		You say you were "chatting with someone", so i am assuming this is an online thing. You said your limit, he decided to push it. You said no, which to me is healthy boundary maintenance....particularly in the online meduim.

Insight? The guy decided to push...for whatever reason...and it was completely appropriate for you to say no. If he "dismisses" you for his bad behavior, then it is my opinion that you are well rid of him.

best,
kess

(in reply to lilliebitch)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: limits - 2/5/2006 7:42:55 AM   
lilliebitch


Posts: 29
Joined: 9/16/2005
Status: offline 		thanks kess,
he has since appologized and said goodbye, mustve read this lol, why are guys such bastards

(in reply to kessia)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: limits - 2/5/2006 7:58:08 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilliebitch
i have been chatting with someone and i stated blood was a limit and when he instructed me not to use sanitary items and let it flow freely i took a giant step back and then this person got angry and "dismissed me cause i said no. im feeling a bit confused . please some insight?


and
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilliebitch

he has since appologized and said goodbye, mustve read this lol, why are guys such bastards



I believe you will find those that make unrealistic demands during an "online" scene, will be unrealistic to the circumstances in general. It is fantasy, isn't it? I'm sure this man would not impose such an order on you, if he was sitting next you on HIS couch, watching the Super Bowl.

I don't think he's as much a "bastard" as you called him in a later posting, but more an onliner, without a realistic view of some things. He's "playing," and he thought you were too. He didn't respect your rules, and he quit. He "dismissed" you (which I don't understand since you're ONLY talking online), and now you call all guys bastards?

Which person has the real issues? From a quick view, I think you both had unrealistic expectations.

I've had bad experiences too, but have never generalized to the entire male population.

K

< Message edited by FTopinMichigan -- 2/5/2006 7:59:15 AM >

(in reply to lilliebitch)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: limits - 2/5/2006 8:06:20 AM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

It is fantasy, isn't it? I'm sure this man would not impose such an order on you, if he was sitting next you on HIS couch, watching the Super Bowl.
....FTOPIN

LOL...you got that right! Now, please pass the chips and get nekkid.....O.K., O.K., just pass the chips!

Peace, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: limits - 2/5/2006 10:01:11 AM   
typesgirl


Posts: 102
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline 		I don't intend this post to knock or insult anyone...please take it only as a personal opinion and preference.

I really can't wrap my brain around folks who get so serious so fast in online venues. It seems to me that meeting online should ensure that the friendship portion of the relationship developed nice and slow and that should be a good thing.

Of course, if you only want someone to cyber play with then dive right in but if you're in for something else then things should move slowly. Why is it that this kind of advice is a given in a vanilla dating relationship but in BDSM people think it's a good idea to meet up with someone after a few chat sessions and put themselves at risk (thinking of another thread I read this morning). you'd never do this in a vanilla realtionship so why should a BDSm one be any different.

In short, any "Dom" who makes those kinds of demands in an online medium does not have your best interests in mind, doesn't respect your submission or who you are and is better left alone. You probably dodged a bullet with this one. Good riddance to "faux Dom" behavior.

Again...just my opnion and I know there are some who have established wonderful strong online relationships in a short amount of time...i think this is just as rare and special as love at first site in face to face life...for the most part, relationships (online or off) take time to develop and should be handled carefully and with respect for each other and an agreement to get to know each other.

that's my two cents
typesgirl

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: limits - 2/5/2006 2:28:58 PM   
subnoconas


Posts: 84
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilliebitch

why are guys such bastards



plaese do not asume every male is a scum bag because i sure am not and i feel sorry for women that asume every guy is, they just get unlucky and meet the jerks

(in reply to lilliebitch)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: limits - 2/6/2006 4:03:40 AM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilliebitch

hey everyone ive got yet another question, when asked what your limits are and one is blood, do you consider your period as blood related?.
i ask as i do considerate apart of my blood limits and wonder if anyone else does . i have been chatting with someone and i stated blood was a limit and when he instructed me not to use sanitary items and let it flow freely i took a giant step back and then this person got angry and "dismissed me cause i said no. im feeling a bit confused . please some insight?
thank you


I wouldn't mind having sex on my period if my Dom wanted it, but to not wear a pad or a tampon and just "let it flow" - yuk things get messy enough without dripping blood all over the house......eeeewwwwwww

I have other forms of blood play as a hard limit, like cutting or needles or whipping to the point of bleeding......just not for me.

(in reply to lilliebitch)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: limits - 2/6/2006 4:31:00 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rayne58
I wouldn't mind having sex on my period if my Dom wanted it, but to not wear a pad or a tampon and just "let it flow" - yuk things get messy enough without dripping blood all over the house......eeeewwwwwww


That was about my reaction to. Nothing wrong with having sex during her period that putting a towel down first and a wash after won't fix, but just "letting it flow"...... Sure as hell not happening anywhere near a carpet of mine!


(in reply to Rayne58)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: limits - 2/6/2006 9:48:58 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rayne58


I wouldn't mind having sex on my period if my Dom wanted it, but to not wear a pad or a tampon and just "let it flow" - yuk things get messy enough without dripping blood all over the house......eeeewwwwwww

I have other forms of blood play as a hard limit, like cutting or needles or whipping to the point of bleeding......just not for me.


*nod* I actually hadn't ever though of needing this to be a limit, to tell the truth. It's something I'd never heared before.

I dunno how this could be practical for an individual who has to be out in the world. Gods know I couldn't do it, as it would get in the way of my work and my productivity.

OUt of curiosity, is there any dominant person reading this who is into this? Or submissive person whos dominant person likes this? Can you tell me why?

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to Rayne58)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: limits - 2/6/2006 9:52:09 AM   
SweetEscravo


Posts: 193
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline 		In my opinion, there are things that each of us would not do, and those things should be respected- by both parties. I would never do something I was completely uncomfortable doing, even if it meant I was "dismissed" by someone online. My personal needs are important to me and I don't think it's anyone's right to take that away.

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: limits - 2/6/2006 11:17:57 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Myself I have always taken blood-play to imply cutting, needles, etc. It never dawned on me that it would be used to refer to menstruation....perhaps the online Dom was in the same boat.
I myself do not find the idea of "letting it flow" at all appealing, and definately not near any carpet of mine either Raven. However it occurs to me it may be something useable in a humiliation or punishment context.


_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to SweetEscravo)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: limits - 2/6/2006 11:47:19 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		lillie any guy who does not respect hard limits is not worht you time. You should really give him the (online boot).

littleone

(in reply to lilliebitch)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: limits - 2/6/2006 11:59:04 AM   
foxglove716


Posts: 648
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe it was a miscommunication. When I think of "blood play" I dont think of menstrual blood. Maybe he just associates blood with cutting and such and assumed you did as well.

As for the demand...


quote:

ORIGINAL: FTopinMichigan


I believe you will find those that make unrealistic demands during an "online" scene, will be unrealistic to the circumstances in general. It is fantasy, isn't it? I'm sure this man would not impose such an order on you, if he was sitting next you on HIS couch, watching the Super Bowl.




Couldnt have said it better myself!

_____________________________

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. -Oscar Wilde

(in reply to lilliebitch)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: limits - 2/6/2006 12:27:45 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilliebitch

hey everyone ive got yet another question, when asked what your limits are and one is blood, do you consider your period as blood related?.
i ask as i do considerate apart of my blood limits and wonder if anyone else does . i have been chatting with someone and i stated blood was a limit and when he instructed me not to use sanitary items and let it flow freely i took a giant step back and then this person got angry and "dismissed me cause i said no. im feeling a bit confused . please some insight?
thank you



Did this dom own you? Was he working with you? Training you? Was there any form of D/s relationship already developed? you said you have been chatting with someone but did not say in what context, or what depth. If he was someone who was actually domming you and he required something of you that you felt you could not do...he should have worked with you to understand why, etc. If he was your dom and "dismissed" you for it...he is not really a dom. If this was online "play", then unfortunately it is what it is. i don't really understand why one would "obey" someone he/she did not know. As was said in previous posts, an unknown online (or offline) dom could not possibly have your best interest at heart.

As for what Arpig said about using bloodflow as humiliation - yikes!! That would certainly do it, wouldn't it??

o.g.

(in reply to lilliebitch)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: limits - 2/8/2006 9:59:58 AM   
MasterRobert1


Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline 		Take an online "scene" for what it is, typing. Not for what it is not, real life.

(in reply to lilliebitch)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: limits - 2/8/2006 3:16:26 PM   
ShivaTS


Posts: 132
Joined: 2/4/2006
Status: offline 		I am new to this and dont understand what my limits would be because I have never tried it. Is there a general consensous on first timers limits?

(in reply to lilliebitch)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: limits - 2/8/2006 3:27:13 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		quote:

ORIGINAL: lilliebitch

why are guys such bastards



please do not assume every male is a scum bag because i sure am not and i feel sorry for women that assume every guy is, they just get unlucky and meet the jerks
===========

just like some of us find the wrong women...
life just sucks sometimes

and i corrected the previous post spelling


< Message edited by veronicaofML -- 2/8/2006 3:28:22 PM >

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to subnoconas)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: limits - 2/8/2006 4:25:30 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

quote:

It is fantasy, isn't it? I'm sure this man would not impose such an order on you, if he was sitting next you on HIS couch, watching the Super Bowl.
....FTOPIN

LOL...you got that right! Now, please pass the chips and get nekkid.....O.K., O.K., just pass the chips!

Peace, Kevin


Would you like....um.....salsa? With those chips?

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: limits - 2/8/2006 9:10:00 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I am new to this and dont understand what my limits would be because I have never tried it. Is there a general consensous on first timers limits?


Most new folks typically list the "big eight;" i.e. blood, scat, watersports, guns, knives, needles, children and animals. Beyond that, I've seen people list everything that scares, squicks or unsettles them, which can become an awfully cumbersome list to try to convey to someone.

There is no universally-accepted list of hard and soft limits. You need to decide for yourself what things are absolute, you will never do them, limits; and what things can be gradually explored. When you know this, then you will be in a better position for negotiating a Master/slave relationship.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to ShivaTS)
Profile   Post #: 20
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