RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (Full Version)

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Antheia -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 6:41:58 AM)

Nope. There is always going to be someone out there that feels that need to build themselves up by putting others down for one reason or another. They don't realize just how pathetic that makes them (seem).
A.



Daddyluvsitrough -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 7:49:41 AM)

Regarding the OP, I don't think so.

In some ways, BDSM is no different than any other segment of society.  People are attracted to people for various reason, but we're all here because we want to narrow our focus to those who are into the same kinks we are and fulfill certain needs that vanilla-types can't.  But that doesn't mean we're attracted to anyone & everyone who shares the same BDSM wants & desires - we're still human, and everyone has their own individual tastes of what they deem attractive & unattractive.  We're all shallow to a certain extent whether we wish to acknowledge that or not. 

Personally I wouldn't be interested in someone who was totally obese regardless of the mental connection I had with them.  I'm fit, I work to stay in shape, I eat healthy and lead an active life outside of BDSM and need someone who can complement My lifestyle.  There has to be physical chemistry for me to be turned on, I think most here can admit that. 

At the end of the day, we're all human beings.  I believe that we are all hard-wired to find certain aspects of other humans attractive - whether its BDSM kinks, intelligence, a warm smile, a successful career, a nice body, or all the above.  Everyone one of us has turn-ons and turn-offs and shouldn't feel ashamed for what makes your own heart go pitter-patter.  Perhaps some Doms are less interested in a woman's body type and more interested in what she can provide Him, and that's fine too.  It's people that settle for less that end up unhappy in unhealthy relationships.



SomethingCatchy -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 8:41:12 AM)

I didn't read all the replies, so maybe it's been said here.

I personally think that any one in a dominant position that is overweight by their own hand (laziness, over eating, not getting medical attention when it's readily available to them) are not 'in control' of themselves and I don't respect them as what they portray themselves to be. I have a hard time taking anyone in a leadership position seriously when they don't have the balls to take care of themselves but would want to tell others what to do.
I also dislike overweight subs (male and female) because of the physical demand my personal life would put on them. I can't have a 400 lbs submissive dragging along on a 4 mile hike about to kill over. Neither do I find rope bondage attractive on overweight people.

I personally do not treat overweight people any different than I treat any other person, even though I do seem judgmental. I would just not be involved with anyone who isn't health conscious and strives to stay in a healthy weight range.



LadyConstanze -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 9:48:19 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

I

I personally think that any one in a dominant position that is overweight by their own hand (laziness, over eating, not getting medical attention when it's readily available to them) are not 'in control' of themselves and I don't respect them as what they portray themselves to be. I have a hard time taking anyone in a leadership position seriously when they don't have the balls to take care of themselves but would want to tell others what to do.



I think the crux of the matter is that GOOD medical attention is not easily available for everybody (the quality of MDs varies A LOT and you hardly know before you see one, you start with a GP and if he tells you "You're just lazy, no need for a specialist" then you're a bit up poopoo creek without a paddle), and often medical issues can interfere with your weight, I know a few people who have that problem, and most doctors are fairly quick to discount weight problems as simply "lazy, over eating" and tell you to "eat less, exercise more".
A lot of people take the word of an MD as the law, well, they are the experts and they don't like to be questioned, so they might have been seeking medical attention but they aren't getting any help. I think it is quite frustrating if you have to push and push, and MDs tend to be fairly dismissive. If money is an issue, especially in the US the quality of your health insurance might reflect that, then you are also hampered in your choice of doctors, how far you can afford to travel if you are not in an urban area, etc. I have a hard time imagining that people are happy with a medical condition that makes them overweight, I only had that once for a brief time and it turned me suicidal, nothing I would wish on anybody.

On the other hand, if somebody is happy to be overweight but still healthy, that's fine, that is their choice, even if they like to be obese, only if it is their own doing I find it a bit unfair to burden others with the costs that result from the condition. Actually I would tax fast food to high heaven and use the money for the health system (and whip every politician to an inch of his life if he'd attempt to use it for anything else).



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 10:27:57 AM)

quote:

Original: SomethingCatchy

I personally think that any one in a dominant position that is overweight by their own hand (laziness, over eating, not getting medical attention when it's readily available to them) are not 'in control' of themselves and I don't respect them as what they portray themselves to be.


While I understand your sentiments, I think that it is nearly impossible to know, for sure, by looking at someone, whether that person is "overweight by their own hand" by your criteria or whether there is something else going on. I also find it spurious to attempt to use weight management as a tool by which you get to decide whether or not someone is "in control" of hirself. I know plenty of what my stepdaughter calls "skinny fat" people -- people who are normal weight or underweight, but who eat junk food constantly and never exercise, and don't really care if they care for their health or not. I also know more than a few truly extremely obese individuals who are consistently focused on making sure that they attend to their health to the best of their ability, regardless of their size. To look at these individuals, or even to watch them in the course of a few evenings at public events, it would be very difficult to figure out who was striving towards health and who was completely careless with hir body. People don't necessarily behave at a once-a-month munch or play party the way that they do in their day-to-day life. You also can't tell -jack shit- from a person's online posts, for the most part. Posts and chats are words on a page, and some people are honest about who they are and what they do, and others aren't, but until you get to really know the person, it is impossible to tell from online posting which person is in which group.

It is also true that there are any number of  average-or-smaller sized individuals who couldn't meet your criteria as someone who could go hiking and keeping a very active lifestyle. At the same time, there are quite a few larger individuals who are active spelunkers, hikers, and campers (my ex-husband's new wife, for example, is 370 lbs and in her early 50s, and hikes/spelunks 2-3 weekends a month... no, she can't get into some of the smaller crevasses, but she still gets out there and spends an entire day climbing in and out of caves).

I think that focusing on -weight- is a purely aesthetic issue, and focusing on health is a separate issue that should not be inextricably linked to body size. I don't think people should have to justify not liking a certain body-type. It's OK to say "I'm not into fat girls." There is no need to attempt to justify that preference by inferring that all fat girls are doomed to be unhealthy and got there because they're too lazy to do anything about it.

To the OP: Just like anywhere else, some people like padding, and some people don't. The ones who do (or who don't care) may be supportive and complimentary, or may focus on other things. The ones who don't, if they're polite, may be constructive about offering advice, and doing so only when it's asked for. There are, however, just as many folks who are openly derisive, judgmental, cruel, and thoughtless when presenting their opinions in this subset of the world as in the whole of the "common world". All of us have biases and pet peeves, and most of us are pretty verbal about expressing our disgust/annoyance/etc. The trick is to find the people who allow you to be the best self that you can be -- and who will provide productive information with just enough prodding and support to help you stick to your decisions if you decide that you want to change something in your life, whether it is education, your body, your spiritual focus, or the way you participate in your particular brand of living.

Dame Calla

PS: In the interest of full disclosure, and because I don't use a picture on these forums, I will state that I am fat, that I am under medical care for a life-long immune problem that requires lifelong use of immune modulators and steroids, and that I choose to not aggravate my situation by eating crap, so I try to be relatively anal-retentive about what I put into my body in terms of fuel (both in amount and in quality). I do, however, respect that my weight is a downer for some. Frankly, I am as happy with myself as I can be, considering the magnitude of congenital issues I've dealt with all my life. One of the -least- of my worries is my weight, but I -do- worry about it enough that I'm not sanguine or dismissive about what being fat costs me, on a social level.



YourhandMyAss -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 10:57:19 AM)

If German people can be considered European, and I only say if because I don't know about geography and regions and who's who. then hell yes they like junk. German culture love their beer and their good food and their braughtworths* a huge saussage* and stuff like that. And Once a year every year they have a huge beer festival. And my family does have experince with this stuff first and second hand, because my Sister in law is from Germany, and came to the Us in her20's or something, and my family has been to germany 2 or 3 times staying for about a year or so.
quote:

ORIGINAL: frankieboy52

 would think most europeans don't have weight issues because they don't overeat like we Americans nor do they consume have the crap we do if at all.



YourhandMyAss -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 11:03:30 AM)

Then you should be in favor of Liquor and cigarettes and any other type of crutch  to enable being unhealthy being taxed to death too, vending machines, schools, businesses, the diet and weight loss business, they all are a cause of un healthyness, in one way or another. Because Society at large has to pay for the effects of those behaviors too.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Actually I would tax fast food to high heaven and use the money for the health system



SimplyMichael -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 11:18:00 AM)

(Edited to add - what follows is a BROAD GENERALIZATION many do NOT fit this tirade...)


Weight is one of the screwed up things in the scene, very much a sacred cow, no pun intended. Lots and lots of submissives are fat, yes, I said fat. They want to be loved for who and what they are. However, most of them don't want a dominant who isn't REALLY dominant (as in not the "ideal") and want someone who is highly desirable (because on SOME level, dominants are judged by their ability to, well, dominate!) and so they want Doms to overlook their weight, while they judge Doms by how "dominate" we are.

It is a double standard masked under worrying about asthetics being shallow.

We ALL judge.

And I say the above as someone who is at a university FULL of young hot chicks with perfect bodies. All boring beyond belief to me as I want a woman my age, with wrinkles, scars, and a full curvy body. I don't like overly large women and I can't stand skinny ones either. They must have a beautiful face, nothing else works for me, body is distant third behind brains/personality.

Its like the movie where the dork wins the cheerleader in the end. Usually ignoring the nice nerd girl who loves him OR she becomes beautiful and they get together. When I see fat chicks posting threads about how they can learn to love a newbie dom and know he will never be a "great" dominant I will not laugh when I see people whining about being shallow, till then I am just going to laugh at the hypocrisy.



IrishMist -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 11:59:21 AM)

NO, they are not better at accepting people of all sizes.

BDSMer's are people, just like any other. There is nothing special about us/them.



slavekal -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 12:25:13 PM)

Somewhat, perhaps.  Some of it may stem from the fact that for us, it is more difficult to find someone with the same interests, so one might be willing to drop physical standards a bit in favor of personality compatibility.  I would rather be with a fantastic domme who was twenty pounds overweight than a Playmate of the Year ten who was all vanilla and dull.



LadyConstanze -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 1:31:41 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

If German people can be considered European, and I only say if because I don't know about geography and regions and who's who. then hell yes they like junk. German culture love their beer and their good food and their braughtworths* a huge saussage* and stuff like that. And Once a year every year they have a huge beer festival. And my family does have experince with this stuff first and second hand, because my Sister in law is from Germany, and came to the Us in her20's or something, and my family has been to germany 2 or 3 times staying for about a year or so.
quote:

ORIGINAL: frankieboy52

 would think most europeans don't have weight issues because they don't overeat like we Americans nor do they consume have the crap we do if at all.



Oh hell, I lived in Germany most of my life and out of all the countries in Europe possibly the most focused on size, regular shop, sizes stop at an US 12, if you are very lucky a 14, then you got roughly 2 companies who will sell you plus sizes for enormous amounts of money and hideous designs.

What is presented to the tourists as the Oktoberfest is such a far cry away from reality, it actually caused an outcry and a sensation when some shows were moderated by slightly larger women, not anywhere near obese, possibly just on the verge of being overweight.

You don't see many big people in Germany, because they are treated with extreme contempt, fitness is a big thing and anorexia amongst teenagers is a rather normal occurrence. People who are a US size 16 or over will order clothes online from the UK or US because they are actively discouraged to be in shops, the general belief is that anybody being overweight or not being near ideal weight must be so lower class that they just eat junk food. If anything, they are sizeists. My 12 year old niece was actually worrying if she should not be on a diet (not a lot of fat on her) because she fits in regular clothes for a 12 year old... In case your Um is slightly pudgy, you will be called to school and somebody will discuss nutrition with you, you could end up having the social services showing up if you care well for your Ums

Unless things have changed dramatically in the past 3 years, it's possibly worse than a Malibu beach when it comes to body conscious!



LadyConstanze -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 1:41:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

Then you should be in favor of Liquor and cigarettes and any other type of crutch  to enable being unhealthy being taxed to death too, vending machines, schools, businesses, the diet and weight loss business, they all are a cause of un healthyness, in one way or another. Because Society at large has to pay for the effects of those behaviors too.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Actually I would tax fast food to high heaven and use the money for the health system



Actually cigarettes and booze are already taxed to hell, roughly 300% tax on them. Now if you look at the statistics of how much damage booze does and how much damage cigarettes do and compare them to the health costs of obesity related problems, they make hardly make a blib.
We all know smoking is dangerous and if you sign up for private health and you are a smoker they charge you more for the risk, I'm roughly having 2 glasses of wine a week, I pay through the nose for that pleasure, how much is that going to cost the health system? I bet a lot less than I pay for the bottle that will last me and a friend the weekend.
I smoke 3 to 5 cigs a day, not to sound like Clinton but I only inhale the first 2 puffs, it's more of a ritual, it stops me from thinking "Oh I stopped smoking, I must crave nicotine..." It's basically tricking myself out, they are £6 a pack (9 US dollars roughly - 8 of them TAX), ho hum, I think I am taxed enough for my "vices", at the same time I have the lung capacity of somebody who doesn't smoke and is 20, thats not too bad for having 16 years on them.
I'd be happy to go inline skating or kick boxing with any non-smoker and see who is fitter. You think somebody who mainly lives of junk food is going to take me up on it?



MistressRoxie -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 2:42:08 PM)

Wow! I'm dying to know how schools are a cause of unhealthy-ness? Because the schools where I have worked, have it mandated by the state that any food sold on campus must meet certain caloric restrictions. This includes snacks and drinks sold int he cafeteria and in the vending machines, as well as breakfast and lunch. Perhaps it's the fact that students are required to take physical education for ONLY two years?

And to second what someone else already said, tobacco and alcohol are already heavily taxed.



Ialdabaoth -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 3:31:10 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Antheia

Nope. There is always going to be someone out there that feels that need to build themselves up by putting others down for one reason or another. They don't realize just how pathetic that makes them (seem).
A.


Well, I dunno about "pathetic", since everyone does it to some degree. So long as we have an intuitive sense of comparative worth, it will always be a viable strategy to undermine the worth of others when doing so takes less effort than increasing your own worth.



Daddyluvsitrough -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 4:12:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

If German people can be considered European, and I only say if because I don't know about geography and regions and who's who. then hell yes they like junk. German culture love their beer and their good food and their braughtworths* a huge saussage* and stuff like that. And Once a year every year they have a huge beer festival. And my family does have experince with this stuff first and second hand, because my Sister in law is from Germany, and came to the Us in her20's or something, and my family has been to germany 2 or 3 times staying for about a year or so.
quote:

ORIGINAL: frankieboy52

 would think most europeans don't have weight issues because they don't overeat like we Americans nor do they consume have the crap we do if at all.



Oh hell, I lived in Germany most of my life and out of all the countries in Europe possibly the most focused on size, regular shop, sizes stop at an US 12, if you are very lucky a 14, then you got roughly 2 companies who will sell you plus sizes for enormous amounts of money and hideous designs.

What is presented to the tourists as the Oktoberfest is such a far cry away from reality, it actually caused an outcry and a sensation when some shows were moderated by slightly larger women, not anywhere near obese, possibly just on the verge of being overweight.

You don't see many big people in Germany, because they are treated with extreme contempt, fitness is a big thing and anorexia amongst teenagers is a rather normal occurrence. People who are a US size 16 or over will order clothes online from the UK or US because they are actively discouraged to be in shops, the general belief is that anybody being overweight or not being near ideal weight must be so lower class that they just eat junk food. If anything, they are sizeists. My 12 year old niece was actually worrying if she should not be on a diet (not a lot of fat on her) because she fits in regular clothes for a 12 year old... In case your Um is slightly pudgy, you will be called to school and somebody will discuss nutrition with you, you could end up having the social services showing up if you care well for your Ums

Unless things have changed dramatically in the past 3 years, it's possibly worse than a Malibu beach when it comes to body conscious!


Well I too have lived in Germany for several years and agree - they have very few heavy people over there.  But I disagree on the why - it's not that the  heavy people are discouraged from going out in public.  The protrayal of the whole beer-guzzling, bratwurst stuffing at Oktoberfest is silly - that's strictly a festival in the city of Munich and the surrounding Bavarian region.  Germans are perhaps the unhealthiest of the Europeans - mostly due to the influx of McDonald's and it's popularity with youth there - but Germans are still a quantum leap ahead of Americans in terms of nutrition and fitness.  First off the German beer - the Purity Law states no preservatives will touch their beers.  Foods in general in Germany have little preservatives as their meats & vegetables are grown locally.  They're very into sports, hiking and just taking long walks in general.

Europeans walk & bicycle on a daily basis much much more than Americans.  Maybe Germany isn't the best example but look at Holland next door - the Dutch people will ride bikes to work while Americans will get in their car to drive 3 blocks to the 7-11.  Americans are simply a lazy, fat nation whose culture revolves around instant gratification.  Sure some Americans are obese due to medical problems but I consider that a fraction of the overall obese population.  I don't see all these medically-obese people in Holland, Denmark, Sweden, Spain, Italy, etc.  I don't see them in Brazil, Argentina or other parts of South America I've been to.  Americans over-eat and under-exercise.  We want it easy, we want it now.  The average American's diet is filled with foods loaded with preservatives and sugar in contrast to other countries foods.  We also don't want to put the effort into maintaining a healthy figure, what we really want is a magic pill to zap fat while we sit on our couch watching American Idol.  Many people will spend a few hours a day on the internet, then complain about their weight when they could be riding a bike, going for a swim or working out. 

I know the first thing I notice when I get off the plane back in the USA after I've been overseas a while:  "Wow ... look at all the fat people." 



YourhandMyAss -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 4:26:17 PM)

When I was going to school, lunch was stuff like pizza and taco bell and alacart  had cake and cookies and pieces of pie, lunch at my school was  just pure junk. If you had lunch money you could stuff yourself silly on junk all day at school from vending machiens selling cookies and ice creams and soda's course it was a good 2 or 3 years ago, but still  we did have junk food galor at our fingertips in school..
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressRoxie

Wow! I'm dying to know how schools are a cause of unhealthy-ness?



Lashra -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 4:39:16 PM)

Nope BDSMers can be just as biased and close minded as any vanilla person out there. I do know that there is a lot of size bias, particularly  since the media portrays the "ideal woman" as  5 foot 10 inches tall and 100 pounds. Frankly I like my women with curves and meat on them, but that is just me. So I say to hell with the media (and everybody else) and their biased opinions, I do not buy into them at all. I have my own idea of what the "ideal woman" should look like and I do not need someone else trying to tell me what that is.

~Lashra



YourhandMyAss -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 4:44:48 PM)

I don't know how to inline skate or kick box but if you asked me to do something I knew how to do I'd say sure, and I eat a lot of junk.  Now maybe I am different from your normal junk food eater. Just because I like to eat junk food and eat more than I should on more occasions than I should doesn't mean I won't go out and be physically active if asked by a friend to tag along. I may tire out quickly because I am very sedentary in normal life, but I will go out and have a go at an activity. Daddy would to, he loves paint ball and he wants to get into MMA * mixed martial arts* And kick boxing and he eats nothing but junk himself, and is a soda junky. He'll have 10 soda's a day, if he's not consciously trying to cut back. Now maybe his stamina wouldn't be great either, but he'd go out and spend all day in the fields playing paint ball and would go out and kick box with you if he knew how.

My x ate nothing but junk and and drank nothing but soda's and he could out jump out dance any one in a game of DDR, that boy could jump and hop and stomp and dance for like 2 hours strait. And before any one says DDR* Dance dance revolution* isn't taxing it's a lot of pysical activity doing all the dancing and jumping.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze




I'd be happy to go inline skating or kick boxing with any non-smoker and see who is fitter. You think somebody who mainly lives of junk food is going to take me up on it?



ShaktiSama -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 5:37:00 PM)

*shrug*  After reading the last few pages of posts, I am reconfirmed in my belief that the acceptance of most people, bdsm or not, is not something worth having.

People who blather on about other people's bodies and judge them by superficial features without knowing them personally?  Are all the same.  Idiots.  Doesn't matter if it's gender, gender preference, age, race, weight, religion, whatever.  A prejudice does not suddenly acquire a halo because they haven't built a deathcamp for it yet.  Personally, the conditions that LadyC is describing in Germany sound pretty revolting to me.  Children with anorexia is not a cultural victory.

I also always have a good laugh over that "A dominant should be a perfect human being or they 'aren't in control' and can't be an effective leader or trainer" line of bullshit.  Wow, you can't exert authority over other people's minds and bodies effectively unless you are a physically flawless specimen yourself?  Someone better tell that to all those overweight, smoking, crap-eating athletics coaches who keep churning out the winning teams and the Olympic champions, then.

They also need to get in the time machine and go back to tell the majority of the most famous generals in history that you can't command an army unless you're the biggest and strongest man in it.  I'm sure that will come as a real shock to Napoleon in particular.

*shakes her head*  Anyway, the answer to the OP's question is very clear.  No, "bdsm'ers" in general are not more accepting of different body types.  They also aren't any wiser about a lot of other things.  I think the key in this community as in many others is to find the ones who appreciate beauty in all its forms, and ignore the others.  Their worldview is its own punishment.  Having a narrow definition of beauty makes the world an ugly place.




DavanKael -> RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? (5/15/2009 9:01:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

I don't know how to inline skate or kick box but if you asked me to do something I knew how to do I'd say sure, and I eat a lot of junk.  Now maybe I am different from your normal junk food eater. Just because I like to eat junk food and eat more than I should on more occasions than I should doesn't mean I won't go out and be physically active if asked by a friend to tag along. I may tire out quickly because I am very sedentary in normal life, but I will go out and have a go at an activity. Daddy would to, he loves paint ball and he wants to get into MMA * mixed martial arts* And kick boxing and he eats nothing but junk himself, and is a soda junky. He'll have 10 soda's a day, if he's not consciously trying to cut back. Now maybe his stamina wouldn't be great either, but he'd go out and spend all day in the fields playing paint ball and would go out and kick box with you if he knew how.

My x ate nothing but junk and and drank nothing but soda's and he could out jump out dance any one in a game of DDR, that boy could jump and hop and stomp and dance for like 2 hours strait. And before any one says DDR* Dance dance revolution* isn't taxing it's a lot of pysical activity doing all the dancing and jumping.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze




I'd be happy to go inline skating or kick boxing with any non-smoker and see who is fitter. You think somebody who mainly lives of junk food is going to take me up on it?



What's keeping you from learning to do those things on your own? 
Saying that you need someone to ask you along with them is pushing off responsibility.  I think this is alos, in a sidelong way, indicative of the instant gratification someone mentioned: give me the motivation. 
And, as a fan of MMA, I can say with assurance that someone who is a junk food junkie and drinks 10 sodas a day is going to die if they try to compete in that venue.  Again, you can't go from a complete mess to champion quality with the wave of a magic wand.  It takes dedication. 

Some general additional comments to the thread, not to you specifically: 
Most people who are obese are that way because of their own choices. 
Some people have medical issues.  That is the extreme minority.  And, a lot of people use relatively unrelated medical issues as reasons for all manner of indulgences (I am not saying that about the stories people have shared here regarding medical issues: I am speaking of folks I have encountered out and about across the years). 
I'm going to repeat that first sentence of the paragraph: Most people who are obese are that way because of their own choices. 
I was a chubby kid.  Not fat like people are today, a bit overweight.  And, you know what, I got picked on.  Ruthlessly.  And, not just by kids. 
Then, I was a scrawney kid.  Extremely so.  And, you know what, I got picked on.  Ruthlessly.  And, not just by kids. 
And now, now, I'm at the upper end of normal for my height.  I could easily weigh more as that's what my genetic predisposition would be.  I could, with a bit more attention, weigh a bit less.  You see, it really is about the choices that most of us are making. 
Here's where I get really non-PC: 
I don't care if people want to get fat and die early.  I do object to the whining demands about fat-acceptance.  I do object to the limp excuses about why a person is that way.  I object to them because I have to listen to the blathering; it permeates society. 
I am livid that my tax dollars go to care for people who have medical conditions because of their gluttony.  I am disgusted that the medical system is overtaxed by needless illness because of over-indulgence.  I think that people who make choices that directly negatively impact their health should have to shoulder that burden themselves.  I will also go on to say that, perhaps most of all, I am revolted to read scientific articles that attribute some birth defects to obesity: yes, some babies are actually physically damaged by the fatness of the woman carrying them.  That is, if the woman carrying the child is choosing to be that obese, in my opinion, criminal.  I'm not really sure that a creature who is so counter-survival as to damage its' progeny in that way (And, come on, knowing one's unhealthily overweight pre-pregnancy and then feigning surprise that it can damage a fetus...well, that's just stupid!) ought be allowed to survive. 
What it boils down to:  I feel sympathy for people who have health issues that cause them to be obese.  I do not feel sympathy for people who are obese by choice and I think that they should be held accountable as I noted above (As should we all be accountable for our actions) and also that when they whine about lack of acceptance of a seriously counter-healthful state, that they ought not be terribly surprised when people call them up on the blathering or tell them that they don't want to hear it.  I guarantee that if someone I love is going on about being obese, I'm not going to pat their hand and help them play the victim: I'm going to suggest they talk with their doctor about regaining a healthful weight and will support them in active, positive change.
  Davan



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