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SteelofUtah -> ....It doesn't Suck. (5/19/2009 1:13:06 PM)
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It is one thing to get to escape but it is a completely different thing to know that what is an escape to you is just another weekend to someone else.
Once again we have spent time with Mercnbeth & WyldHrt.
We went up to their place on Friday the 15th left St George Utah around 12 and arrived there just before 8 our time and the first thing I did was have to take a shower. Long drives just make me feel dirty and not in the good way.
Some things to be understood.
- THE LAS VEGAS I-15 SUCKS ASS!!!!!!! Nearly 2 hours to drive across Vegas? How Retarded is that.
- Arriving at your destination is almost as enjoyable after a long drive as Orgasm.
- You KNOW you have a good home when you can refer to the left side of the home as the WEST WING (Just kidding, but they do have a very nice home)
- No Matter what if you have people coming over NEVER hold dinner the sheer fact of trying to do so will guarantee that no one arrives on time.
- Mercnbeth do not own a Pool. They own a VERY LARGE Bathtub as I have never known a pool to be heated to 90 degrees and the Hot Tub 110. This is refered to as beth Water…. And Yes the "Pool" remained at Beth water until we left.
- When one is so excited about getting away and relaxing apparently you only need 6 hours of sleep a night to be completely rested.
- A slave can make This Guy cry with a simple gesture of kindness… No I’m not going to explain that.
Day Two.
We met BeachMystress and toii and what WONDERFUL People they are, We also met a mutual friend of everyones and the stories to be told were brilliant. Apparently Merc forgot to issue his clear sky permit on time and the fog/mist was, at least for me, an early morning treat.
Some things to be understood.
- Humblers apparently look worse than they are… I was not willing to find out first hand. My sub doesn’t have balls so I have no need for a toy such as that.
- The Pastries from Bristol Farms are made with Crack…. At least that is all I can assume as the Assortment requires a Broker to afford and comes with an appraisal and eating them is rather addictive.
- Most toys have different names…. I don’t know many of those names…. BeachMystress DOES…. And I am envious of her toybag.
- WyldHrt has no Butt. She Will argue with this. Seriously She has none. Because of this there is only so much Surface Area to work with there is a special spot that I find enjoyable ……… she does not.
- New toys are FUN to play with… However certain toys can fall different and tail bones on people without butts attract the tips of new toys and ruin the fun being had …. At least the fun I was having.
- Wii Bowling and Wii Golf not as easy but twice as fun as you would think it was.
- Everyone should own a Pin Ball Machine.
- Costume changes are fun for everyone.
- Putting a Heart on the Breast of a girl who is slow cooking herself in the sun light is Fun
- Sunburns are NOT fun
- Even with the Fog and a Cool day you can get a BITCH of a Sun Burn.
- Some fast Food places don’t have drive thru’s and they take three times as long to get food at.
- My Trooper Car door can be tricky and must be checked to make sure it is actually closed (See Later Reference.)
- Putting a good tip on a new toy will also make the toy possible of giving someone a whole new ass crack. Good thing we practice on something without nerve endings.
Day Three
Venice Beach and Redondo Beach sounds good on paper in reality I could have gone without. I remember going to the beach being a LOT more fun as a child.
Some things to be understood.
- Being Handicap is only financially positive Monday through Friday on Saturday and Sunday no one cares that you are handicap and they charge you to park anyway.
- Venice Beach is as Commercial as the Las Vegas Strip if you are already bored with one you will be easily as bored with the other, I apparently, am no longer a tourist anywhere.
- Waves are tricky bastards, apparently they can come in different heights and are not uniform. When hit by a Bastard wave you appear to have peed yourself….. Tourists have no problem laughing at you.
- The Beach is now restricted to only .03 % Resident status and the remainder of the beach is populated by foreigners from Japan and Mexico.
- Sunburns are only fun for other people.
- After driving around for 2 and a half hours playing with the ocean, we still enjoyed the pool more.
- Carnitas recipes can piss off beth when they aren’t specific enough.
- E~a~R~t~H~q~U~a~K~e~S can be fun but after the wild weekend we had were rather anti-climactic…"Was that an earthquake?" "Yes" "Okay Going back to bed"
Day Four
It’s Leave Day, No one wants to go. The Bags are Packed and the stuff is 100 times heavier than it was unloading to start your adventure. The daunting drive seems to be saying "You don’t want to do that, look for an apartment and see what it takes to stay RIGHT HERE!!!!
Some things to be understood.
- When you are in Heaven you never want to leave.
- When someone doesn’t close your door all the way after going to get Burger King Your Car doesn’t want to start. (This is the Later Reference)
- Cheap Jumper Cables are only good for torturing slaves with.
- In California EVERY ROAD LEADS TO A FREEWAY.
- If you think you passed it you are only half way there.
- Everyone should have a Guest Book.
- California was designed to disorientate people. I never knew what direction I was headed until I got to Barstow.
- For all those who are interested in Glory Holes the Mens Bathroom at the Baker Rest Stop has a Big one….. Bring your Tin Snips you’ll have to uncover it, but they left the roll of duct tape.
- Apparently 70 mph means 90 mph to everyone from California
- Nothing NOTHING feels better than the last 10 miles of a trip knowing that for as much as you loved where you were being home is an oasis all it’s own.
THANK YOU ALL for the wonderful weekend we had. We Love and will miss each of you.
All in all with everything said and all the tallys taken……. It didn’t suck.
Steel
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