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teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/19/2004 3:29:37 AM   
onewelshman


Posts: 19
Joined: 8/18/2004
Status: offline 		i have never managed to do the above and am now wondering if this is reality or flight of fancy.
can any sub inform me how they hav been traneed to this point, and maybe put me in touch with the dom/me who is so special.
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RE: teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/19/2004 5:09:12 AM   
SentForu


Posts: 303
Joined: 3/23/2004
From: Middle Tennessee
Status: offline 		I have heard of this as well. I also can't give any advise. Just make a small point. When it comes to orgasming period, I happen to be one of those who didn't till later in life. To me, it's as much mental as physical. That doesn't come easy to me, and I don't ever think a Dom could teach me to do so on command. But, if that were possible......*thoughts trailing off*

Myra

(in reply to onewelshman)
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RE: teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/19/2004 5:19:34 AM   
LearningSlave


Posts: 9
Joined: 6/30/2004
Status: offline 		i know male porn stars do it its a job requirement. I have no clue how though.

(in reply to SentForu)
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RE: teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/19/2004 5:22:54 AM   
deannalynn


Posts: 29
Joined: 8/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onewelshman

i have never managed to do the above and am now wondering if this is reality or flight of fancy.
can any sub inform me how they hav been traneed to this point, and maybe put me in touch with the dom/me who is so special.


Good Morning,

It is possible, but from my experience it took time. It just doesnt happen through osmosis (unfortunately).

I would guess its different with every person in how they are made to respond. Not only are the physical aspects important but also psychological impact. I found usually that it takes a man who has a great love of a woman, understanding her sexuality and making her helpless to his touch. I hear a lot about orgasam denial, but I think that hinders her sexuality because if a woman is trying so hard to control her body instead of man taking the control it makes it harder to attain the freedom and natural responses. Also, association can be used. A certain word, action, reflex where it takes the woman back to the moment of orgasm. A woman's body can be taught or trained to do many things and knowing what worked for me, may be the opposite of another.

wishing you well,

deanna

(in reply to onewelshman)
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RE: teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/19/2004 7:57:54 AM   
ShadowHwk


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/5/2004
From: New York
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onewelshman

i have never managed to do the above and am now wondering if this is reality or flight of fancy.
can any sub inform me how they hav been traneed to this point, and maybe put me in touch with the dom/me who is so special.


It really isn't all the hard to do. It just takes time. This is basic conditioning. The thing to remember is that she LIKES to have orgasms, this makes the conditioning easier because the act you’re trying to make happen is, in itself, it's own reward.

You need know your partner very very well, and be able to sense when she is about to climax. It helps if she is willing to communicate this with you. When she approaches climax.... have her hold off as you count down from, say, 5 to 1, and then releasing her climax when you say "One - Cum Now.". Repeat this process every time you have intercourse. After a while (how long depends on how often you have intercourse, and her devotion and need to please you - figure on several weeks) you will be able to bring her to climax during sex just by counting down. And eventually you won’t need to even be touching her for it to work - just the words whispered in her ear - even in a public place. And finally the countdown won't be needed. Just the command to "Cum Now.".

The reason this works is that it is a self-reinforcing behavior modification - it is almost fool proof.

With this in mind, you are playing with powerful stuff here, emotions can run very high. I would caution you to think seriously about what your doing before you deliberately set out to manipulate another in this way.

As with any tool - be careful how you use it.

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RE: teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/19/2004 8:00:42 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		To me an orgasm is all mental. Not physical at all. As you were growing up where did you learn about sex? Your ignorant friends? Sadly this is usually the case. Even if you learned from your parents did they teach you how to masturbate?

Basically what I'm getting at here is, everyone masturbates a different way. Most all get the same sort of reaction. Why is that? Are they touching the super sensitive nerve endings they probably need to? Odds are they probably are not. Yet with a self induced thought in their mind. Without touching the right areas they still orgasm. Why is that if not mental?

Myself, I can have an orgasm by a thought. So, I guess if I looked at it the way most do. Yeah my Dom could probably give me a thought and I'd orgasm. He can touch my arm and I can't handle it. Does not need to be sexual in any way. It just needs to be the "right" touch.

I know several who use a form of hypnosis to get their submissives to orgasm. Does it work...yes it does if the hypnosis worked in the first place.

If you're female we've all dated the same guy. The one who has no clue about your body. Really has no clue about his own. Other than how to make himself orgasm. That type of person could never train anything to orgasm upon command. It does take a special person to take the time. To have that specific level of interest in a person to get to know them. To actually care enough that their partner actually gets pleasure as well as they themselves do.


Anyway, that is my two cents on the matter.

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RE: teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/19/2004 9:14:32 AM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		There is another thread somewhere on the message board where this was already discussed. Someone probably knows where. All I can say is my slave cums on command for me. It is not a myth.

(in reply to onewelshman)
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RE: teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/19/2004 9:26:12 AM   
TaurusMCMLVIII


Posts: 88
Joined: 1/20/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LearningSlave

i know male porn stars do it its a job requirement. I have no clue how though.



I don't think they actually orgasm on command. I am sure there are lots of things going on behind the camera and that are edited to make it appear that they are more than they actual are. Plus there is a period of stimulation. I can understand that some men can get to the point of orgasm and then are very good at holding it back and controlling it. When an orgasm is then desired, ejaculation can be produce a short time later but I wouldn't say this is the same as "orgasm on command".

(in reply to LearningSlave)
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RE: teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/19/2004 9:31:35 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		A male porn star appears to cum on command because a fluffer got him ready.

Doing research in college and meeting a wide variety of friends. Yep, hey I knew a man who used to make porns. I'd go watch them being made. You're right a lot goes on behind the scenes you have no clue about.

Actually I do believe I know one of the same men now who is actively making porno's. About 35, 000 to star in one of his. Go figure he actually made a career out of it.

(in reply to TaurusMCMLVIII)
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RE: teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/19/2004 9:32:18 AM   
TaurusMCMLVIII


Posts: 88
Joined: 1/20/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

There is another thread somewhere on the message board where this was already discussed. Someone probably knows where. All I can say is my slave cums on command for me. It is not a myth.

I am sure you are very good at what you do but I hate to be the one to burst your bubble. A woman can not orgasm on command. Obviously if your sub walks into the room, a command from you or anyone will not make her reach orgasm. A woman's orgasm is very much mental. Much more mental than physical But the physical part is necessary also. One can not be achieved without the other and the mental is most critical. I hate to say this and I am sure I will get a lot of flack for this but if any woman is telling you different than I can say with certainty that she is not being totally honest with you. Women fake all the time to make us feel better. Most are incredibly good at it.
But I am not trying to convince anyone. If you want to believe you can command an orgasm and it works for you and your sub then go for it and enjoy!

(in reply to Estring)
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RE: teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/19/2004 9:47:01 AM   
Destinysskeins


Posts: 267
Joined: 7/1/2004
Status: offline 		Greetings,

Here's a link that i was able to drag up - i'm sure there are many more and most likely even better ones but this is what i was able to come up with for now. It's really very much in line with Shadowhawk's comments but from a female subbie perspective and a bit more detailed. Just to give You another reference point.

http://www.bcwsd.com/backroom/smack/smack024.html

Secondly, i'd also like to reinforce Shadowhawk's comments about being careful with this. Personally, i had not gotten to the point of orgasm on demand w/o any physical contact at all merely cumming at the slightest touch when commanded and also holding back from orgasm until commanded to cum. Now, that i'm an unattached subbie who must *ahem* attend to business in solitude i find that this has become rather difficult to overcome. So, yes...please take care of the little one You're training.

_____________________________

Wilted petals fall from a rose like bitters tears wrung from a heart whose dreams have shattered. What hope for the future can be seen by eyes that are darkened with sorrow neverending?

i'm not manic-depressive, i just have an elliptical personality

(in reply to Estring)
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RE: teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/19/2004 10:13:45 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

There is another thread somewhere on the message board where this was already discussed. Someone probably knows where


Found it:

orgasm on demand

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to Estring)
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RE: teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/19/2004 10:40:08 AM   
ShadowHwk


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/5/2004
From: New York
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TaurusMCMLVIII
I am sure you are very good at what you do but I hate to be the one to burst your bubble. A woman can not orgasm on command. Obviously if your sub walks into the room, a command from you or anyone will not make her reach orgasm. A woman's orgasm is very much mental. Much more mental than physical But the physical part is necessary also. One can not be achieved without the other and the mental is most critical. I hate to say this and I am sure I will get a lot of flack for this but if any woman is telling you different than I can say with certainty that she is not being totally honest with you. Women fake all the time to make us feel better. Most are incredibly good at it.
But I am not trying to convince anyone. If you want to believe you can command an orgasm and it works for you and your sub then go for it and enjoy!


You know, I always have to laugh at those who speak in such definitive ways about what someone can or cannot do. Yes I am laughing at your statement. Maybe in YOUR experience it has not happened.

You state something as a fact, yet you offer no evidence, you also don’t offer anything in the way of medical credentials so that we may infer that you know what your talking about. So we can only assume you are simply speaking from your experience (obviously somewhat more limited than others on this board), rather than a formal psychological study of some sort.

But, contrary to your statements, there is a large body of evidence and documentation that a Pavlovian response to a given stimulus can be induced in humans. Are you saying that the body of evidence is incorrect and that there is no such thing as a Pavlovian response? Or are you saying that it is impossible for a woman to be so conditioned that her Pavlovian response to a given stimulus is an orgasm? In either case before you state something as a fact you should probably do a bit of research.

So as for bursting anyone’s bubble, mine is still intact, and I might suggest you leave room in your head for the possibility that you haven’t experienced everything there is to experience in the world at large. As for a woman faking - I am quite sure it happens - that part of your post sounds like you are speaking from experience. My ego doesn't need that particular stroke, never has. If you have a problem with them "faking it" maybe your making too big a deal out of it. If she doesn't cum, she doesn't cum - not a big deal one way or the other. *laugh* I know that *I* cum and I enjoy it.

Terry

< Message edited by ShadowHwk -- 8/19/2004 10:48:48 AM >

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RE: teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/19/2004 10:55:14 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

A woman can not orgasm on command


I suggest you read the previous thread on this subject. There are many on Collarme who have experienced orgasm on command.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to TaurusMCMLVIII)
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RE: teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/19/2004 11:44:48 AM   
gitta


Posts: 110
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		Taurus,

Hate to pop your bubble .....but this slave knows for a fact she can orgasm on demand, she was trained by a wonderful man to do such. Most of the people that i know in real relationships have no reason to fake anything, where is the trust in that?

Perpaps a refresher course in Anatomy/physiology might help you. Human beings do not need touch to have an orgasm. The mind is a wonderful thing, capable of being programed to do many things. Short of taking a class try doing a little research online, there is plenty of information to back this rather common practice up.

_____________________________

smiles,
gitta

(in reply to TaurusMCMLVIII)
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RE: teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/19/2004 3:11:23 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Perpaps a refresher course in Anatomy/physiology might help you. Human beings do not need touch to have an orgasm. The mind is a wonderful thing, capable of being programed to do many things. Short of taking a class try doing a little research online, there is plenty of information to back this rather common practice up.



I've been saying this all of my life. If only basic anatomy or physiology were required before a person could have sex. Imagine how life would be so much different for everyone everywhere. I bet people would'nt even be as bitchy as a lot of them usually are. If they were releasing their tensions through sexual fulfillment the way they should be.

(in reply to gitta)
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RE: teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/19/2004 3:19:34 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

If they were releasing their tensions through sexual fulfillment the way they should be.


Maybe that's why my bp has gone down so much this last year.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to sub4hire)
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RE: teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/19/2004 6:23:57 PM   
WayHome


Posts: 237
Joined: 8/4/2004
Status: offline 		There was a time when my sub could come on command, though she had to be a bit worked up first and could never do it "cold". It required a great deal of time and trust and understanding to get to that point. It was a very special thing.

We had a rough spot in our relationship a few years ago that occured at the same time as chemical changes that affected her libidob (health related). She lost the ability to come on command at that time and it was very traumatic for her. Now her libido is mostly back (mostly) and our relationship is on a better footing. We could probably get there again but thus far have decided not to.

While it is definitely possible, to reduce it to a simple Pavlovian (or even Skinnerian) process is to deny the realities of biology and emotion as well as the dedication and sensitivity the trainee must possess along with that of the trainer. Not all women can be trained to do this. Not even most. For some, ANY orgasm takes work and patience. It is an accomplishment not to be discounted and my hat is off to those who do it.

Taurus, it is possible for a woman to fake an orgasm. What about a man? I can have an orgasm and ejaculate without any direct physical stimulation at all. It's not easy, but it can be done and requires avoiding the very strong urge to get physical stimulation close to orgasm (not touching myself). Men and women are different, but would a man demonstrating orgasm without physical touch help to convince you that there are possibilities beyond your grasp? Help you not to dissmiss an unlikely orgasm as an impossible and thus fake one?

(in reply to proudsub)
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RE: teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/20/2004 6:42:15 AM   
TaurusMCMLVIII


Posts: 88
Joined: 1/20/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadowHwk

You know, I always have to laugh at those who speak in such definitive ways about what someone can or cannot do. Yes I am laughing at your statement. Maybe in YOUR experience it has not happened.


I am glad to provide you with a good laugh. ANd you are certainly correct about at least one thing which is that it has not happened in my experience nor have I seen it done by anyone else. Though after some thought, I was wondering why anyone would want to since it is as much fun getting there as it is in arriving.

You state something as a fact, yet you offer no evidence, you also don’t offer anything in the way of medical credentials so that we may infer that you know what your talking about.

I guess it's my turn for a good laugh (maybe we should start a comedy routine). Why is that that the person offering an opposing opinion needs to have medical credetials and a thesis research paper yet those that offer the initial theory are able to state whatever they want?

So we can only assume you are simply speaking from your experience (obviously somewhat more limited than others on this board), rather than a formal psychological study of some sort.

Please don't take it personally. Your words indicate some aggression. I didn't mean to insult anyone. Just my own opinion at this point. Though I doubt I will spend anytime "researching" this just to prove a point. But I would be happy to read the study you are basing your opinion on. And yes I have heard about the conditioning of physical response (who hasn't) but that study only proves that dogs can be trained to drool when a bell is rung. It is useful to use as a basis for theory in other areas. But it is just that, another theory. And until a study is conducted to prove orgasm on command with physical stimulation then I'll stick to my opinion.

But, contrary to your statements, there is a large body of evidence and documentation that a Pavlovian response to a given stimulus can be induced in humans. Are you saying that the body of evidence is incorrect and that there is no such thing as a Pavlovian response?

No not at all. My comment above explains my position a little. To further illustrate let me offer this. Yes some physical responses can be trained but it is limited. I can't train someone to bleed on command just because I put them through training similar to Pavlo's experiment.

Or are you saying that it is impossible for a woman to be so conditioned that her Pavlovian response to a given stimulus is an orgasm?

Yes That is my position. Now I will say there is some grey area to the amount of physical stimulus needed. And as I said before, the mental requirements are more important. But if there is truly no physical stimulus involved at all and no mental stimulus other than a verbal command(s) then a woman will not orgasm.


As for a woman faking - I am quite sure it happens - that part of your post sounds like you are speaking from experience. My ego doesn't need that particular stroke, never has. If you have a problem with them "faking it" maybe your making too big a deal out of it. If she doesn't cum, she doesn't cum - not a big deal one way or the other. *laugh* I know that *I* cum and I enjoy it.

Terry


As I said before, I was just offering my opinion and not trying to "convert" anyone. I thought that was what message boards were all about. But if I offer an opinion and then get insulted about my sexual experiences then I guess the BDSM community just isn't as open-minded as it pretends to be.

Oh, and I am glad to hear that you cum and enjoy it. After all, isn't that what this is all about?

John

(in reply to ShadowHwk)
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RE: teaching a sub to orgasm on dom's demand - 8/20/2004 11:00:28 AM   
Thanatosian


Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline
quote:

Just my own opinion at this point.


which was the point of terry's reply - you are stating your opinion, but you phrase it in such a way as to make it seem a universal truth - to wit " I hate to be the one to burst your bubble. A woman can not orgasm on command." A more politic way of phrasing it would be "I have never seen a woman orgasm on command"
quote:

Much more mental than physical But the physical part is necessary also. One can not be achieved without the other

when you were a teenager did you never experience 'noturnal emission'? have you never had orgasm from an erotic dream? I have, and every man I have ever talked with has at least once in his life - and I know I was not jerking off in my sleep - I came from the mental images in my dream alone - so orgasm without physical stimulation is not only possible, but does exist

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to TaurusMCMLVIII)
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