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LadyExcrutia -> RE: I tripped and fell on (for?) a nilla (5/24/2009 8:23:38 AM)
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I guess I can relate to you...my husband is Latino and his country has a very bad idea about BDSM, so he cannot ever, ever say in public amongst his peers that he's enjoying BDSM now....I had to tell him some things, start slow and unfortunately, I mistakenly took his desire to please me out of love with his pleasure needs out of his kinky side and the rush he got, so I went too hard and God bless his soul, he never once backed down or safeworded out of play, even when he beled from it, and I had to fall into that mistake to realize the wonderful man I had and how to make it grow.
Base don my errors, I should tell you that most men are open to BDSM...if you exploit the pride part their testosterone gives them and play the adrenaline rush to bring up that testosterone surge that will get them to play. If you boost up his confidence, especially inf ront of others, using the right comments about him as a man, and you seduce him into BDSM, he will get in quick and easy. Start with silk scarves, tie him up to the ebd, blindfold him, use sex as the tool. I used to ride and when I had my husband all for myself, I used to do CFNM and use our stable to take him, and have him please me using the crop and the spurs, gradually getting rougher, to guide his pace and direction, sometimes using the fear of exposure to excite him, combining thrill and fear to elicit the response I wanted.
My breakthrough was to see him fight once, out of a dumb dare done by his co-workers. I was so upset with the way he smashed the other guy up that I beat him in his locker, and he fell, i kissed him and said I was sorry and he laughed and for some reason, i slapped him again and tried to bring him down only to find him kissing me as I did so, and it sort of went on from there. I realized he had a need to fight inside him, and I fed it while also feeding his pleasure in order to steer him towards mine, so I let him train me in the martial arts of his country and I liked it. He then agreed to pony play, to whippings, to outdoor play and then to go to munches, where I was careful to say always something ncie about him to make my friends look at him differently and boost up his confidence. It worked wonders and then I started enjoying him more. Maybe you can use the same concept.
A friend of mine fell in love with a chef. She used to make him cook naked, and then touch him, and make him cook and do it all while she used soft spanks with her hand, or some iem of the kitchen, gradually going higher, keeping him focused on cooking the meal he was and playing...running the knife, carefully, against his body making him close his eyes first, kissing him, caressing him as she took a spatula and spanked him, making him serve the dish and eat the appetizer as a dog on the floor, or off her boots and then she ate from him, served the dessert on his naked body and ate off of it. It made him go from totally vanilla (he was in the Opus Dei) to doing scenes of public wax and needle play at a club....
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