Marc2b
Posts: 6660
Joined: 8/7/2006
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Some years in the future, O. J. Simpson has a heart attack and dies.
He immediately goes to hell, where the Devil is waiting for him.
“I don't know what to do here,” says the Devil, “You are most definitely on my list, but I have no room for you. I can’t let you go so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'll let somebody else go and you will take their place. I'll even let you decide who is lucky enough to leave.”
The Devil opened the door to the first room. In it were Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over and over; he dove in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.
“No,” O. J. said, “I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't think I could do that all day long.”
The Devil opened the door to the next room. In it was a large desert area and George W. Bush. Bush was chained to several WMDs which he dragged around in a circle all the while muttering to himself, “I found them... I found them.” Such was his fate in Hell.
“I’ve got a bad back,” said O .J. “Old football injury.”
The Devil opened a third door. Through it, O. J. saw Bill Clinton, lying naked on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. O. J. looked at this in shocked disbelief for a few seconds before, with an enthusiatic grin and nod of his head, said, “Yeah man, I can handle this.”
The Devil smiled, clapped his hands loudly, and said . . .
“Good news, Monica, you're free to go.”
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Do you know what the most awesome thing about being an Atheist is? You're not required to hate anybody!
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O.J Simpson in Hell - 
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