NightDaughter
Posts: 264
Joined: 1/23/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
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Let It Snow (sung by: Jean Luc Picard)
Oh, the vacuum outside is endless,
Unforgiving, cold, and friendless,
But still we must boldly go--
Make it so, make it so, make it so!
Winter Wonderland (sung by: Jean Luc Picard)
We've just passed, Starfleet inspection
Just plot a course --- any direction
We're gonna explore, where none have before,
Cruising in the starship Enterprise
On my starship, I can run a program
And pretend that I am Dixon Hill
Walk into my office and then --- oh man!!
My secretary 's making out with Wil...
I need a break, from Wesley's whinin'
I'll have some tea --- then talk to Guinan
A nice quiet chat, about her new hat,
Cruising in the starship Enterprise
Deck The Halls (sung by: William Riker)
Here's a vexing Christmas riddle:
(Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la la)
Why must I play second fiddle?
(Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la la)
How can I impress Deanna
(Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la la la)
When I'm number two banana?
(Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la la)
Girls find him so cute and cuddly
(Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la la)
(He) thinks his beard makes him so studly
(Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la la)
Sleeps around, does what he pleases...
(Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la la la)
Spreading outer-space diseases
(Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la la)
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen (sung by: Wesley Crusher)
I'm at Starfleet Academy,
And I'd just like to say
I miss the opportunity
To weekly save the day--
To make things worse, I have to be
In some dumb Christmas play!
Yes, I'm bright, though I'm just a teenaged boy,
Only a boy,
And the Enterprise was my most favorite toy!
I study hard, I do my best
I really try and try ---
(But) Sternbach and Okuda
Are finding ways for me to die
I'm such a charming little tyke
It's such a vicious ploy
"Maim that child" was just overheard from Troi,
Counselor Troi (!)
I guess starships might not be the place for boys
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas (by: Deanna Troi)
I get no surprises out of Christmas--
Presents leave me blue--
I know what they're giving me
Before they do.
Who wants to be Betazoid at Christmas?
I read Jean-Luc's mind:
"What's the cheapest gift for Troi that I can find?"
Geordi thinks I'm a "Beta-bore"--
Worf likes Data more--by far.
Wes to Mom takes his whinin', or,
Sobs to Guinan o'er the bar.
In Will's dreams I'm in a reindeer costume
Bare at breasts and thighs--
He as Santa merrily
His whips applies.
Oh, Christmas is no fun aboards the Enterprise.
Jingle Bells (sung by: Data)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle all the way!
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh--
or so I am reliably informed; lacking a subjective and intuitively perceived referent for the term "fun," I am able only to report the phenomenon as experienced by others, whose individual perceptions somewhat color the ---
yes, sir.
White Christmas (sung by: Worf)
I'm dreaming of a dead Pakled,
Just like the one in Rec Deck Eight.
They all think they've hidden,
But this one didn't,
And I'm using him as bait.
I'm dreaming of a dead Pakled--
Their mental skills are rather lame.
May your foes die sonless, in shame--
And I hope you're wishing me the same!
Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire (sung by: Worf)
Phasers flashing in the depths of space,
Ripping up an airtight hull;
Signs of fear on your enemy's face,
And life-support signs reading null!
Ev'rybody knows a Romulan's a spineless foe
Who lacks the Klingon will to fight!
Phaser beams set his torso aglow--
He'll find it hard to breathe tonight!
He knows that Worf is on his way!
And soon he'll be the object of the verb "to slay"!
And ev'ry slinking Rom and Pakled spy
Will soon become the subject of the verb "to die"!
And so I'm offering this simple threat
To Roms, and all Ferengi, too:
You'll be as dead as a life-form can get--
Merry Christmas to you!
_____________________________
NightDaughter
My Blog - http://www.livejournal.com/users/nightdaughter/
"I never said that I could spell, but I do try my darndest to get my point across" - ND
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