Victorian Lifestyle... ? (Full Version)

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sweetgirlseeks -> Victorian Lifestyle... ? (5/27/2009 4:16:23 PM)

Hello to A/all:

Could someone help me understand the Victorian Lifestyle lifestyle... and how does a female slave fit into that picture?

Thanks!
~sgs



antipode -> RE: Victorian Lifestyle... ? (5/27/2009 4:23:08 PM)

quote:

Could someone help me understand the Victorian Lifestyle lifestyle.


Given the amount of information on the Victorian era available on the internet, I am really puzzled what exactly you're asking. For both questions - if you do some reading, the place of a servile young woman in that era seems self-explanatory. If between the internet and PBS and Amazon.com you can't get the information you want, what is it you're looking for (always a problem with the oneliner question without any form of explanation or background)?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victorian_era

??



sweetgirlseeks -> RE: Victorian Lifestyle... ? (5/27/2009 4:33:27 PM)

Thanks antipode,

i guess i am trying to figure out what the house would be run like nowadays...  she would be more of a chambermaid i guess?   What would her role in the home be... is there a Mistress of the House, and then servants... including both slave boys and slave girls?    Would the Master of the House have a slave boy as a personal assistant and the Mistress a slave girl?   How does sexual relations play into it, or not play into it? 

I am familiar with the Victorian Era somewhat from a historical perspective... but i am not understanding how it is integrated with the BDSM lifestyle...  

Thanks,
~sgs



LadyPact -> RE: Victorian Lifestyle... ? (5/27/2009 4:39:33 PM)

There is a very knowledgeable gentleman on this site under the screen name of Iron Bear.  If for some reason he wouldn't see your post, you may want to ask him your question via cm mail.



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Victorian Lifestyle... ? (5/27/2009 5:03:33 PM)

Our household, which, at its peak, ran on Victorian-type dynamics, was a hierarchical household. As a poly home, we had several Lords and Dames who ran the household, and a number of servants of different genders. Servants belonged to the -household-, rather than to an individual, although most of our Keepers had favorites (and, over time, those favorites shifted and changed). Duties were divided according to training and skills. Every servant coming into the household started out at the bottom of the hierarchy, and worked hir way into hir eventual "peak station" through excelling in certain areas. Our top servants -- the chatelaine and head butler or house manager -- were typically -switches- who showed a capacity to both handle their own duties and manage someone else.

Typically, Victorian servitude is highly structured and retains certain household 'habits' like formal meals and tea-time. Typically, there is a recognizable hierarchy. A Victorian household may have one servant (who will truly need to be a "jack or jill of all trades"), or may have several servants... The most common breakdown is a kitchen, or scullery, servant (possibly with a cook and cook's helper as well who may be household servants, but more likely are employees), an upstairs maid (responsible for the sleeping quarters, baths, and often for wardrobe.) and a downstairs maid (responsible for general housekeeping on the 'public floors' and home offices, and often also responsible for things like setting and waiting table and serving tea).

Anyway -- this is a huge subject. Ironbear and Neets maintain a Victorian household, and can probably add more about how it works in their situation. They're amazing people.

Dame Calla



DivaLadyTJ -> RE: Victorian Lifestyle... ? (5/27/2009 5:27:27 PM)

Hello, I agree with all the above..... prior to the Depression many middle class homes had at least one servant.  If there is no female spouse, a slave could become the Head Housekeeper or Butler..... or even the Woman of the House.  But mostly they were maids, cooks, chambermaids, and then there were upstairs maids and downstairs maids, gardeners, stable boys, groomsmen etc, etc.  The primary thing is that now the Victorian Lifestyle refers to etiquette, graciousness and a smoothly run household in which those who served were almost always silent.  The evidence would be in polite conversations in the "drawing room" an or study/library, an ability to prepare and serve tea and little sweets at teatime, which was often at 4 since supper was around 10ish, and meals were served at beautifully set tables.  There was more concern for clothing care because things were not disposed of easily.  In for instance, you'd find the woman of the house dommed by the husband, and she'd be responsible for everything around the house, cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing, as well as looking good for her husband. 

I did my training in a "Victorian" household, and normally we ate with out owners unless there was company and we were relegated to the kitchen for meals.  And what I like about it is the etiquette and graciousness in everyday living.  There are some books by Alexandra Stoddard which give some really good ways to bring back those styles into the contemporary world.

I'll be happy to help you with other aspects if you want to email me privately.

Ms TJ



IrishMist -> RE: Victorian Lifestyle... ? (5/27/2009 7:02:21 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetgirlseeks

Hello to A/all:

Could someone help me understand the Victorian Lifestyle lifestyle... and how does a female slave fit into that picture?

Thanks!
~sgs


Master Iron Bear is the one to ask about this [:)]



IronBear -> RE: Victorian Lifestyle... ? (5/27/2009 11:18:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetgirlseeks

Hello to A/all:

Could someone help me understand the Victorian Lifestyle lifestyle... and how does a female slave fit into that picture?

Thanks!
~sgs



Without going into a multi post dialogue on the Victorian Era Lifestyle and how it integrates the Victorian era as in England, suffice it to say that I grew up in an aristocratic home based on the Victorian Homes in England and similar in Europe where decorum, protocol and absolute obedience from lesser beings were as natural as breathing. However I did learn from my parents how to deal with servants without becoming a tyrant. our servants were treated with the same respect and valued as the staff in my Father's professional business and the local merchants where Mother knew them all by name, the names of their husbands, wives and children as well as their birthdays and wedding anniversaries. All of these folk received appropriate cards in the mail and a little something extra as well as Christmas cards and gifts. Suffice it to say that both my parents were not only well respected but genuinely loved as well. 

In a Victorian Lifestyle dynamic the slave becomes a servant and thus could be expected to carry out normal servant's duties and could even be trained in silver service if required. based on my home, slaves collared to Bruin Cottage are service based which does not necessarily include neither sex nor BDSM unless it is discussed and agreed about prior collaring. The service is the primary duty and most important.

I will be happy if contacted via cmail to pass on the lionk to my home pages dealing with this in more detail.



DesFIP -> RE: Victorian Lifestyle... ? (5/28/2009 5:26:41 PM)

I find the silver service odd. As a child I remember my mother training the maid to start serving with the guest of honor and then work their way around in order.

But in our summer home, where we entertained heavily, the maid started with the female guest of honor and then did all the females, after that going around again to the men. Possibly the difference was because my stepmother and the staff were South American?

As my father aged, we changed it so he was served first.



Huntertn -> RE: Victorian Lifestyle... ? (5/28/2009 6:52:18 PM)

good reads all...



sweetgirlseeks -> RE: Victorian Lifestyle... ? (5/29/2009 8:14:49 AM)

Hello A/all,

Thank you to everyone who replied to this thread.  Your comments were helpful.  A special thank you to IronBear, i have been reading over your site and it is very helpful and informative.  

Wishing you all a good day!

~sgs



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Victorian Lifestyle... ? (5/29/2009 9:19:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetgirlseeks

Hello to A/all:

Could someone help me understand the Victorian Lifestyle lifestyle... and how does a female slave fit into that picture?

Thanks!
~sgs



The Victorian Lifestyle really is about adopting facets of living from the Victorian Era. You can adapt whatever elements or aspects of BDSM together with it. Think of it as Mix and Match between two lifestyle combined.

The same holds true for the 50's lifestyle, Gor, Goth or whatever. You can live life according to whatever cultural niche in any time period. Egyptian Culture, Roman Culture, or even fictional Culturals such as GOR.

Some people blend Goth lifestye and BDSM together. Some people blend Edge/extreme healthy living lifestyle with BDSM. It's all a matter of choices.

It's much easier for people who have an additional lifestyle interests along with BDSM to find another to identify.

I mentioned the Goth lifestyle on one thread before and it seemed to confuse a few people. No, I did not intend to say all GOTHS are into BDSM. Hell, somebody could live the 50's lifestyle or even victorian without having any BDSM involved.

Some people are into Vampirism and have adapted that into the lifestyle. Again, people doing this with and without BDSM involved.




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