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[Poll]

young people in BDSM

always been like this 35+

27% (16)

always been like this 35 or under

37% (22)

came to it later in life 35+

24% (14)

came to it later 35-

10% (6)

Total Votes : 58

(last vote on : 3/16/2006 1:58:15 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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young people in BDSM - 2/8/2006 5:28:34 PM

rz350

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/9/2005
Status: offline

Im 19 and I'm into BDSM (not just in a kinky play session way, seriously...like LTR D/s relationship, Iv had one before, and desire another) But I'v noticed that the majority of Dom(mes) and subs both seem to be skewed to the 35+ demographic. I am just curious as to why? For you Tops and bottoms in the 35+ demographic, did you come to this lifestyle later on in life (which would explain it) or where you always like that? (which leaves the question to me as to how come its like that)

RE: young people in BDSM - 2/8/2006 6:14:43 PM

rz350

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/9/2005
Status: offline

I should of mentioned. The purpose of this poll is to try and generate some discussion on if/why BDSM seems to be more a 35+ thing. So if anyone has any ideas, please do add them.

(in reply to rz350)

RE: young people in BDSM - 2/8/2006 6:39:12 PM

Posts: 65
Joined: 12/23/2005
Status: offline

Males my age are predominantly boys. I look for a Master to be a man. My Master is 60. I found him at McDonald's in Charlotte looking for a table to sit and have his breakfast. It was over three years ago. Life is good.

_____________________________

One of Master's many sluts

(in reply to rz350)

RE: young people in BDSM - 2/8/2006 6:51:02 PM

Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline

I’ve had subs of all ages. At one time I actually preferred men much younger then myself. I went through this virgin hunting stage and I have probably taken away more virginity then any woman you’ll ever meet. I just loved the shy naivety of a trembling male.

Now that I’m older (46) I’m not so much into the chase and hunt. Sure I love the games, I always will but now I prefer sitting back and getting served.

My son is older then you are. Lol- still this really doesn’t matter to me. I think is a sub is obedient, sincere and together, it doesn’t matter what age they are as long as they are legal! I think 21 and older is best.

Dianna Vesta

_____________________________

(in reply to gbgirlz2003)

RE: young people in BDSM - 2/8/2006 7:21:06 PM

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Most of us fit the 35+ demographic because when we were your age it was either considered very BAD in society to be as we are OR we just weren't aware of our own desires/natures OR both. At 19, I new I liked being in charge sexually and hated it when a man made passes at me or gave off that "I expect sex" vibe. I knew I liked being in charge, in general, and honestly felt I should be because I often knew the best way to do something. I had no clue about "the lifestyle" and probably would have just thought it was hot role play in the bedroom if I did.

Only my opinion, of course.

Fire

_____________________________

you have come to a great chasm. Jump. It's not as wide as you think.

(in reply to rz350)

RE: young people in BDSM - 2/8/2006 7:25:49 PM

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

When I was four years old my daddy took me to a Menards store and as we walked by the entrance we saw these "do it yourself" sheds. Inside when we walked by the aisle with all the chains on big rolls I had one clear thought in my mind: "I'm getting the baby house and the chains and locking all the boys in until they do what I want".

I live in a four block area where I was the only little girl and I always had my pick of playmates and I always determined the games.

This is who I am.

I discovered the terms for it and the concepts of SSC in college when I was 20, I joined the online community at 21 (a few months between these events), and was active in an organization by 23; at 25 I helped the group Conversio Virium form at Columbia University and worke for it for three years.

My slave says he has feelings for bondage going back to at least age 7 and feelings of getting pleasure from pleasing/obeying others by that age as well. He's younger than I and discovered the online information by age 12.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to rz350)

RE: young people in BDSM - 2/8/2006 7:45:24 PM

rz350

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/9/2005
Status: offline

intresting points you all have brought up. I guess I assumed all people my age a) diddnt care about taboos' b) knew what they wanted and go for it. I suppose that actaully is quite rare in my age group.

Thanks for all Y/your great answers and info. :)

(in reply to thetammyjo)

RE: young people in BDSM - 2/8/2006 7:50:47 PM

Posts: 34
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline

I agree with Fire, I'm in the 35+ group. Always knew I was different, always was in control in any relationship but it wasn't accepted then, when I was 19.

I'm just really glad I found myself and now I can get to play with others

(in reply to thetammyjo)

RE: young people in BDSM - 2/8/2006 7:52:22 PM

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

I knew I was kinky when I read The Indians of the Americas at age seven or so and saw a picture of a naked woman tied to a frame. I didn't get a chance to practice it until I was twenty or so back in 1964.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to rz350)

RE: young people in BDSM - 2/8/2006 8:01:58 PM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Lotta simple reasons we are 35+...............life has happened, most of us are what we are and don't go out of our way to hide it anymore; not that we are all flaming anything. Most of us have worked and own our own computers and don't have to hit the library, or the school, or share with mom and dad and stay one step ahead of them. To a great degree, and I really don't want to disparage the youth, well 19 is 19, you know.......still experimenting, going maybe "Oh, my God, I don't believe she is letting me do this"......some of us, that's where we start, pull out the whip and look in the eyes, we don't necessarily ask anymore.......

Some is just life experience, we dropped a sub on her head while tying her up.......... read one of John's books and you will see there are more subtle caviats about what don't work than what does......why is this so?

This is one of those games where you gotta break allotta y's to make alotta x's...........

ad nauseum,

Ron

But you go girl!!!!!!!!!!

LOL
You will tough this out.........

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to JohnWarren)

RE: young people in BDSM - 2/8/2006 8:19:17 PM

Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline

I remember around 12 or 13 playing flag football with boys. I tackled one by mistake and and made him cry. It excited me and I never forgot it. When I was even younger, maybe 10 I use to day dream about being a Queen and having servants.

_____________________________

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: young people in BDSM - 2/9/2006 4:25:16 PM

champagnewishes

Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline

As a sub in the 35+ category, all i can do is quote the late Jerry Garcia..."what a long strange trip it's been".

In my teens, i knew who i was and what i thought i wanted. I had no idea where to go about finding it even if it did exist.

In my 20's, i knew who i was and what i wanted. I doubt seriously i would have been looking for it online even if it had been an option. I was experiencing life as a submissive and having too much fun looking for what i wanted. No stone left unturned.

In my 30's, i knew who i was and what i wanted. I had grown from the simplistic person i was in my 20's but i had issues that i needed to resolve. I allowed myself to get diverted by a vanilla marriage.

In my 40's, i know who i am and what i want. I'm amazed at what a simplistic idea i had about life, let alone BDSM. My needs, wants and desires have taken me 20 years to explore fully in order to understand them and appreciate them to the point i can now, with confidence, seek someone like minded and politely side step those who aren't what i seek.

I wouldn't trade the experiences i had in my 20's no more than i would try and tell someone in their 20's all that they are missing out on. We all go through growth in our own way and in our own time.

_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.

(in reply to DiannaVesta)

RE: young people in BDSM - 2/10/2006 7:16:58 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

Im 19 and I'm into BDSM (not just in a kinky play session way, seriously...like LTR D/s relationship, Iv had one before, and desire another) But I'v noticed that the majority of Dom(mes) and subs both seem to be skewed to the 35+ demographic. I am just curious as to why? For you Tops and bottoms in the 35+ demographic, did you come to this lifestyle later on in life (which would explain it) or where you always like that? (which leaves the question to me as to how come its like that)

I was 23 when I "officially" started all this, but I had been having fantasies for years prior to that. Somewhere in my stuff, I have an essay I wrote on notebook paper (frayed sides and all) about how men should be genetically bred and raised to be slaves to women. I was all of 18 when I wrote that.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to rz350)

RE: young people in BDSM - 2/10/2006 7:29:56 AM

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline

I have always been submissive and since an early age loved having someone in charge and in control. Life however didn't give me that and I was forced into rolls that didn't fit me. It wasn't until my late 30's that I discovered why I have had such a struggle and what it is that I need. I met my Dom at 39 and started really reading all I could on BDSM and D/s especially. It clicked with me and for the first time I feel I can be who I was meant to be all my life.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

RE: young people in BDSM - 2/11/2006 11:42:47 AM

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

For you Tops and bottoms in the 35+ demographic, did you come to this lifestyle later on in life (which would explain it) or where you always like that? (which leaves the question to me as to how come its like that)

Looking back, I realize that I've always been submissive.
It's only within the last two years that I have been able to actually discover the words to explain this.
Once that happened everything fell into place for me and things in my life started making sense.
The more I was able to read online the less odd I felt about myself.
So while I've always been submissive in thought, I've just entered the lifestyle in real time.

(in reply to rz350)

RE: young people in BDSM - 2/11/2006 3:06:49 PM

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rz350

I'v noticed that the majority of Dom(mes) and subs both seem to be skewed to the 35+ demographic. I am just curious as to why? For you Tops and bottoms in the 35+ demographic, did you come to this lifestyle later on in life (which would explain it) or where you always like that? (which leaves the question to me as to how come its like that)

Some of it had to do with that bad ol' 1970s feminism mindset, that women should never submit. It took a while for them to scrub that away.

(in reply to rz350)

RE: young people in BDSM - 2/11/2006 3:43:49 PM

NaturesTreasure

Posts: 11
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline

All of the bdsm sites have 1 problem I've never seen addressed.Catigories for slaves only and one for submissives. There is a difference in the two.

(in reply to rz350)

RE: young people in BDSM - 2/11/2006 5:19:03 PM

Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

I have always been like this , my first experience was when I was very young (about 6 or 7) and the boy next door had me lie on my bed and commanded me not to move. I immediately complied and had this really awesome experience.

(in reply to rz350)

RE: young people in BDSM - 2/11/2006 9:58:27 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

after 21 I am open to friends of all ages, and I say after 21 because I want any one I am hanging out with to be old enough to go where I do with me. I've been on the other end 18 19 considered to young for clubs and bdsm places and having to watch my friends go with out me.

(in reply to kisshou)

RE: young people in BDSM - 2/13/2006 1:06:22 AM

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

All of the bdsm sites have 1 problem I've never seen addressed.Catigories for slaves only and one for submissives. There is a difference in the two.

Maybe, but when I see that bare bottom stretched across my lap or her lips wrapped around me, I often forget just what the distinction is.

(in reply to NaturesTreasure)

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