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RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 8:33:22 AM   
blackpearl81


Posts: 506
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Home of the Yankees
Status: offline
quote:

entertain you??? Does he dress it up in little costumes and have it sing and dance?


For some absurd reason.. I'm hearing the "Oscar Mayer" song goin in my head *lol*


Coincidence? Happenstance? What do YOU think ??l

In reply to the OP though...

Yes, there's been a few "non replies/ignores", but overall, I get a response about 80% of the time. If I don't get a response, I just leave it at that, because obviously I didn't fit a part of the criteria..

A lot of it depends on compatibility, as most Madam's on here encounter one of several things:

1. someone looking for "wank material" (self explanatory)
2. someone lookin to cheat on their significant other
3. (I've heard this phrase used a couple times) someone looking for a "meet & beat" ie. "oh I'll be in (fill in the city/state) on such n such a date.. would you like to meet for coffee/dinner"

Just seems natural that they would be a little jaded... (maybe jaded isn't the best word to use.. but I'm sure you get the idea)
It's up to you to do something *RESPECTFULL* to catch Their eye :)

Hope this helps :)

*BP*



_____________________________

~ Karma. Being a motherfucker since 1981 ~

Ms. Pacman was the greatest prostitute that ever lived. For 25 cents, that bitch swallowed balls 'till she died.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 8:40:48 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: friskiesub

Hi everyone. I'm a GWF (newsub) and found this post very informative. I just wish there were a "training" place for folks before they meet their match. Too often I find myself too eager/forward which may be a turnoff for most Doms. This may sound rather "out there" and please don't laugh...I often have difficulty knowing what to/what not to write. Thanks for all the advice. Looking forward to learning even more.


The problem with "training" is that each dom has a different constellation of skills and behaviors that he or she seeks in a "perfect" sub. You do have an idea about what the major ones are since they will be the complements of that things that turn you on, but discovering the minor ones is one of the great joys of being in a new relationship.

Instead of being concerned that being "eager" turns off some (emphasis added intentionally) accept that those doms wouldn't have been happy with you in the long run anyway.

It's a feature, not a bug.

Training can even make this situation worse. I had a slave a while back who was very proud of having been "completely trained." She kneeled when I came into the room, walked five paces behind me, was stoicly silent during play and used that damned "third party slave pronoun" in speech.

I hated all of that. In less than a week, she was gone complaining that I "didn't punish her enough to make her change."

Be yourself. There are good people out there some of who what a lot of what you want. By all means, expand the search criteria: go to munches and conferences, try other online resources, check out anyone you meet on the street and get vibes from.

If people offer changes in your approach that you think you can comfortably integrate, by all means, do so. Sometimes a little outside advice can help a lot. People can see the bit of salad on our front tooth much better than we can. Just don't get "trained" or change the important parts of who you are.

However, be true to yourself. It's the only way to be true to your future dominant.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to friskiesub)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 8:51:47 AM   
LthrdWolf


Posts: 92
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

If people offer changes in your approach that you think you can comfortably integrate, by all means, do so. Sometimes a little outside advice can help a lot. People can see the bit of salad on our front tooth much better than we can. Just don't get "trained" or change the important parts of who you are.

However, be true to yourself. It's the only way to be true to your future...


Well put John,& this applies (minus the "don't get trained" part ) to Dominants as well.

I enjoy reading your posts.
LthrdWolf

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 9:08:27 AM   
rz350


Posts: 11
Joined: 7/9/2005
Status: offline 		:) thanks for the insight Ladies and gentlemen. See i'v never had anyone write me an abusive IM in reply to a not intested, or have begging or anything, so i guess it sort of slipped my mind as to why people dont reply. it does make sense (mind i'm not the kind of person to do that, but i guess only i know that, since they dont know me and all) but it does make sense and its nice to have a bit of insight.

(in reply to LthrdWolf)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 9:43:03 AM   
friskiesub


Posts: 49
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline 		John: Thank you very much. Your message was clear, but also very sweet.
Again - thank you
Friskie

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 10:24:08 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LthrdWolf
Well put John,& this applies (minus the "don't get trained" part ) to Dominants as well.


[grin] Dominants are fortunate that much of the psychomotor skills needed are amenable to being inculcated in a generalized "training" environment: whipping, bondage, waxing, for example.

Sadly, for "meeting our partner's needs," there we have to fall back on the tried and true "pay attention to him/her." On this quest, there is no royal road to learning. (credit to Anthony Trollope)

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to LthrdWolf)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 11:38:51 AM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: blackpearl81

quote:

entertain you??? Does he dress it up in little costumes and have it sing and dance?


For some absurd reason.. I'm hearing the "Oscar Mayer" song goin in my head *lol*




That's weird OR you and I have talked on the phone before. That song is one of the songs I DO make subs sing. There are other details I will leave out for the sake of the current topic! lol

DV


_____________________________



(in reply to blackpearl81)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 1:57:34 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Thanks to everyone for Your replies. :) I never do write long winded emails, nor pretend to know the Domme. i shall keep all Your advice in mind for sure.

may i ask what a bad IM is?


A bad IM? Hmmm, only about 50 recent emails come to mind...

1) I would love for you to....

2) Want to hook up?

3) You have the most beautiful lips to wrap around my...

4) I will be in Nashville for business...

5) Married but looking for discreet...

6) Do you do...?

7) What would you do to me?

8) Tell me...

9) Make me...

10) Bet you can't...

11) Hey!

12) Check out my profile and let me know what you think!

13) I attached pics! (naked)

14) I love to use my tongue...

15) I can eat _____ for hours.
are you getting the idea?????
That's a nice and pretty complete list yourMissTress.

Wouldn't it be funny if it's the same 20 guys emailing all of us these lines? M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 2:25:10 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		You should read "The Courtship of a Dominant Woman" by Ms. Erika, which to me is absolutely essential reading for every sub. It's posted on my webpage: www.hometown.aol.com/victoriansadist
===========

whats this courting?

i always was told,,,talking to 'a' domme is the SAME as a job interview
where is this courting?

i wasnt aware anyone was looking for a date?


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 3:15:28 PM   
LadyCompassion


Posts: 87
Joined: 11/4/2005
Status: offline 		I always respond to every message that I receive. Even if the message is rude towards me I try and be a person of integrity and respond.

Any tips? I would say #1 make sure you read her profile and understand her situation. #2 Don't assume anything is going to come out of it.

Good luck

(in reply to rz350)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 3:26:48 PM   
SimplyV


Posts: 351
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

Training can even make this situation worse. I had a slave a while back who was very proud of having been "completely trained." She kneeled when I came into the room, walked five paces behind me, was stoicly silent during play and used that damned "third party slave pronoun" in speech.

I hated all of that. In less than a week, she was gone complaining that I "didn't punish her enough to make her change."

Be yourself. There are good people out there some of who what a lot of what you want. By all means, expand the search criteria: go to munches and conferences, try other online resources, check out anyone you meet on the street and get vibes from.

If people offer changes in your approach that you think you can comfortably integrate, by all means, do so. Sometimes a little outside advice can help a lot. People can see the bit of salad on our front tooth much better than we can. Just don't get "trained" or change the important parts of who you are.

However, be true to yourself. It's the only way to be true to your future dominant.


Oh.. so refreshing. I am amazed daily how people think they need to fit some kind of cookie-cutter mold. That is SO not true. Every Dominant has their own style, their own needs, wants, desires, rules, expectations, etc.

Be yourself. You're only going to be happy if you have a Dom that accepts and loves you for YOU. Just Trust me on this. You can try to be the cookie-cutter if you want to.. but in the end you'll just see how right I am.

I've heard it explained and I think it is a good method.. While you're waiting for your future Dominant.. Take this time to learn things that will improve you. Things that you're interested in, that will give you skills to please your future Dominant. Whether its taking a massage class, pottery class, cooking classes.. Oh or even just learning web design.. etc. Making yourself a better and broader person makes you much more valuable and will make you happier in return.




(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 8:25:03 PM   
LthrdWolf


Posts: 92
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyV

I've heard it explained and I think it is a good method.. While you're waiting for your future Dominant.. Take this time to learn things that will improve you. Things that you're interested in, that will give you skills to please your future Dominant. Whether its taking a massage class, pottery class, cooking classes.. Oh or even just learning web design.. etc. Making yourself a better and broader person makes you much more valuable and will make you happier in return.



Good passed along suggestion SimplyV.If the one submitting expands themselves,it is not only good for them,but increases the value & so consideration of their PE gift.

LthrdWolf

(in reply to SimplyV)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: replies and profiles - 2/10/2006 9:04:07 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

LMAO--Here is My newest one:

17. I know you have a boy but how about I webcam My _____to entertain you

WTF????




entertain you??? Does he dress it up in little costumes and have it sing and dance?


No but given the opportunity Mr Winkie will :)

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: replies and profiles - 2/11/2006 11:48:52 AM   
RosaB


Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline 		I state in my profile that I'm not interested in communicating and won't respond to emails of sub/slaves outside my desired area, but they keep coming. In such cases, I feel they're choosing to be ignored. However, recently someone in my area wrote to me and though I had planned to respond, not immediately, as I wanted to give some thought to what I wanted to say, this person wrote to me again ripping into me telling me how he knew I'd read the emails two days ago and how inconsiderate, low class, etc and how I was mistaking arrogance for dominance. All be because I didn't respond within his time frame. Yikes! He didn't like my explaination and continued his psychotic out poor of insults, so, I thought it best to block the bloke and get on with life.


Rosa


(in reply to LthrdWolf)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: replies and profiles - 2/11/2006 12:31:06 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U


quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

LMAO--Here is My newest one:

17. I know you have a boy but how about I webcam My _____to entertain you

WTF????




entertain you??? Does he dress it up in little costumes and have it sing and dance?


No but given the opportunity Mr Winkie will :)



OK OMG, I saw this on Ebaum's world, no kidding.

Some guy did just that and whoever he was camming with recorded and posted it!!!

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: replies and profiles - 2/11/2006 7:35:47 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

LMAO--Here is My newest one:

17. I know you have a boy but how about I webcam My _____to entertain you

WTF????




entertain you??? Does he dress it up in little costumes and have it sing and dance?


*gasp* *choke* *chortle* *squeal* *laugh* *fall over* *giggle*

I can't BELIEVE I read the 'whole thing'...

I kept asking My self: "Self, why do you read some of this stuff?" ...and just at that moment when I was going to click over to another, more entertaining thread, there, hidden among the usual plethora of responses, was a jewel!

That's why I read the 'whole thing'!

Thanks ever so, you two. Too funny!

Texas Maam

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: replies and profiles - 2/13/2006 1:35:19 AM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rz350

I have found that aprox of 90% of the Mistress's I IM on collarme never reply at all. I always write respectfully, carefully, and to the best of my grammer and spelling know how. Now I understand someone may just not be intrested, but why can They not write bcak and say so. I make a point to reply to each and every single person who writes me. I understand that You Misstress's probably get a large amout of email, but still, I just wonder why it is so rare to get a reply, if even if its a simple "not intrested in you cause <reason> "

To expand on that, are there any tips/pieces of advise on how to write Mistress's I do always stay respectful and use my best English. Anything beyond that?

Thanks for reading/answering.



I have specific limits on distance,if someone writes that is beyond that limit...2 things happen,1>you get ignored OR 2>you get a nasty note back asking if you READ the profiles or just look at the pics?

My advice make sure the Mistresses your writing to have the same interests and that you meet what They are looking for.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to rz350)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: replies and profiles - 2/13/2006 10:29:14 AM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticalPhoenix
I fail to see why the fact that someone sends me an email obligates me to respond. I've been using online personal ad sites for a number of years, and I've developed a tough email policy. And, yes, I've had enough responses over the years to calculate statistics.
Phoenix


Um courtesy?

If they followed whatever you put in your profile as far as i am concerned you owe them a response.

If they did not then its whatever you feel like doing with it.

On rare occasions i will write to someone who i am out of their criteria range, but i never expect a response in those cases much less would hold them to one.

However if i wrote to some one and i fall within every thing they ask for you bet i expect a response, regardless if she forgot to list something on her profile or not.

regardless of their spelling or capping etc, if you do not state it on your profile as a no no then you cant legitimately hold it against them.

You at a minimum owe them a "THANKS BUT NO THANKS".

_____________________________

"We the Borg" of the us imperialists....resistance is futile

Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session

(in reply to MysticalPhoenix)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: replies and profiles - 2/13/2006 5:10:51 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline 		Silence often speaks volumes.

(in reply to blackpearl81)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: replies and profiles - 2/13/2006 5:49:03 PM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

Silence often speaks volumes.


Yes and most often not very positive volumes :)

_____________________________

"We the Borg" of the us imperialists....resistance is futile

Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 40
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