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improving masturbation - 6/3/2009 7:43:14 PM   
rednicky


Posts: 313
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline 		omg....I hope I won't regret posting this but this is the only place I might be able to ask this without being laughed at. But I read the rules so, at the very least, I'm not breaking the rules.

Okay I hump my hand when I masturbate basically. It's the only way i know how to get off. I tired penetration. Doesn't do much for me. I'm a hand humper not a finger driller. So, when I find a Dom, what should I tell him as far as foreplay goes? Fingering is somewhat out of the question since I'm just not into it. I don't touch my cl!t directly. I just use my palm and rub (hump) through my lips (they're a little poofy). Is it common in foreplay for a guy to just cup the vagina? I've never seen it in porn (amateur). If not, I may have to talk to my Dom about just cupping it. But is it weird? Or would it be better to just learn how to orgasm via penetration?

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RE: improving masturbation - 6/3/2009 8:04:01 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5172
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		What you do must feel good so I see no problem.  Masturbation is one of those do whatever feels right things.  Since 80% of women do not orgasm with penetration alone, it's probably not a good idea to concentrate on just that.  Also, there is more to foreplay than just rubbing the genitals.  

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RE: improving masturbation - 6/3/2009 8:18:53 PM   
rednicky


Posts: 313
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline 		well when I think "foreplay" I think "fingering and kissing". I guess oral too. What else is there honestly?

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RE: improving masturbation - 6/3/2009 8:21:38 PM   
playfulotter


Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I hate to be blunt..but i think most women get off on a man licking their clit and in your case..very lightly.......tell him to do that! Or I should say suggest it...oops..

< Message edited by playfulotter -- 6/3/2009 8:23:39 PM >

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RE: improving masturbation - 6/3/2009 8:24:09 PM   
rednicky


Posts: 313
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline 		Lol yea maybe. I've never experienced it but it is something I wanna try. Women keep saying it's awesome. Well...they were right about the orgasm lol.

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RE: improving masturbation - 6/3/2009 8:31:45 PM   
mixedemotions


Posts: 123
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		red,

That's pretty much the same way I masturbate.  I'm pretty much a grinder.  Oral, penetration, fingering, none of that works for me.  I suggest just telling him the truth.  Don't do what I used to do..and that was to fake it.

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RE: improving masturbation - 6/3/2009 9:22:45 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		As you get older and become more comfortable you may find that what has the ability to turn you on may change.

You may find out you can come if someone rubs your g-spot the right way.

I think there is alot about foreplay that you have not experienced.

All kinds of touching using fingers and lips and tongue; your whole body is a playground, not just your genitals.

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RE: improving masturbation - 6/4/2009 3:25:13 AM   
Zechriel


Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline 		Good morning!
Personally, I don't like to but Daddy likes me to. I cannot finger myself too much b/c I have vaginal dryness due to hormones and any heavy penetration will make me burn later. But mostly Daddy says rub yourself or kitty so I will. If your Dom asks then you have to say-either out loud or in a letter(I get embarrassed so I am allowed to write) But don't forget that when it comes down to it, what he wants may have to go unless it is one of your limits. I mean, if he says use a finger or 2 and it is not a limit for you....
  Also don't forget that a vibrator can also be used outside not just inside. Daddy LOVES to use his on me outside. He hardly ever uses the attachments. Maybe your Dom can have you try that. A hard grab/massage of your inner thigh muscle can help relax as well. Then rub/massage your way towards yourself. If your Dom watches-and unless he gives specific instructions-you can usually work your way up to your genitalia. It is like stripping, you don't wanna "get right to it" take your time and get your mind worked up, you will find yourself more relaxed and by  the time you HAVE to do something you are so into it, you become less inhibited. Hope that helps, good luck!
Love,
Zechriel


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RE: improving masturbation - 6/4/2009 3:39:34 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
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From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

well when I think "foreplay" I think "fingering and kissing". I guess oral too. What else is there honestly?
there is the mental aspect. To me it is more of a turn-on than anything physical.


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RE: improving masturbation - 6/4/2009 4:05:39 AM   
GYPZYQUEEN


Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline 		OP:
It sounds like you have very sensitive lips and inner clit...

THE external part of the clit (tip)is not all there is..
There are 2 "legs" 'tendrils that straddle either side of the vagina from the clit tip'like a wishbone I guess..running INSIDE
 
It sounds like you need your lips together becuz of sensitivuty or needing to feel all of your clit.....

THIS IS YOUR WAY
 
I know what you mean..I have to have my lips closed...or it ain't happening and some guys want to open your legs and get in there..
It is often too sensitive to be open..

Vaginal penetration sounds like it has not resulted in an O for you.

We all have dif vaginas and clits..no kidding..

and some clits are close to the vagina and some further away...some lips are close up to the body and some are puffy like a peach....

YOUR post says IMPROVING masturbation as if it should be better..how?? for who??
This works soooooooooo?
If it is how to tell someone in BDSM or love making...it will happen..
and you will get to explore..

IN the meantime exploring is good...such as massaging...open /closing the lips..look with a mirror;;check yourself out...get gel and open a bit and make the alphabet on your clit tip with your finger  from a to z real slow and light..pull on the outisde lips ..the inside...try dif sensations...see what YOU like...pat your vulva

as for LEARNING to cum by penetration..well....why not explore again??..
with NO GOAL...O does not have to be the goal...just explore your body..

Learning about YOU is a process..forget the O goal...have fun.

I f you are concerned you will not cum how a DOM wants try not to be
..any DOM
worth his beans will take you on a journey of the senses and exploring ....
and all will be well.

BE-FOREPLAY:
"kiss me  hug me..talk to me..touch me..stroke me..suck me.. lick me...caress me..nibble me..nuzzle me...whisper in my ears..tell me what you'll do..nibble my thighs..bite my neck..touch my toes..polish my pearl..pull my ear lobes..feel my folds..stir the honey pot....cup me...hold it...just like that..........mmmmmmmmm ya"

You are not wierd..

GQ
 
quote on clits..
"well I like sex n' all ,but that dealy bob is too far from the hole"
 
Loretta LYNN

< Message edited by GYPZYQUEEN -- 6/4/2009 4:12:04 AM >

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RE: improving masturbation - 6/4/2009 4:39:15 AM   
Cuffkinks


Posts: 1780
Joined: 5/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

omg....I hope I won't regret posting this but this is the only place I might be able to ask this without being laughed at. But I read the rules so, at the very least, I'm not breaking the rules.

Okay I hump my hand when I masturbate basically. It's the only way i know how to get off. I tired penetration. Doesn't do much for me. I'm a hand humper not a finger driller. So, when I find a Dom, what should I tell him as far as foreplay goes? Fingering is somewhat out of the question since I'm just not into it. I don't touch my cl!t directly. I just use my palm and rub (hump) through my lips (they're a little poofy). Is it common in foreplay for a guy to just cup the vagina? I've never seen it in porn (amateur). If not, I may have to talk to my Dom about just cupping it. But is it weird? Or would it be better to just learn how to orgasm via penetration?


For the record, I try not to use the words "common" and "foreplay" together...Ever.  
Now...Don't worry about trying to change the way things work for you. There is no one way that's better than any other method of masturbation. It's what works for you. What's important is that you share it with your Dom. Give him the information. He should know what to do with it. He may have you do other things that may or may not work for you, but they please him. As long as you've been honest and open with him, and he knows how you work, you need not worry.
But don't ever fake it. That would be disrespectful to him. Enjoy!

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RE: improving masturbation - 6/4/2009 5:26:59 AM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Depends on your idea of forplay, for me there's spankings and floggings and sensation play and watching a porno and well just about any number of things that make me feel sexy and ready to go.
quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

well when I think "foreplay" I think "fingering and kissing". I guess oral too. What else is there honestly?

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RE: improving masturbation - 6/4/2009 5:28:32 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Additionally what works on you doing you may not be the same as what works when a guy is doing you. He does stuff that just sends me but I can't do that same stuff to myself and have it work at all.

Be honest and tell him what you need. He'll probably want to watch you do it.

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RE: improving masturbation - 6/4/2009 8:53:49 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5172
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

Depends on your idea of forplay, for me there's spankings and floggings and sensation play and watching a porno and well just about any number of things that make me feel sexy and ready to go.
quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

well when I think "foreplay" I think "fingering and kissing". I guess oral too. What else is there honestly?



When I think of foreplay I think of kissing and cuddling.  Of course there is nuzzling the back of my neck.  I love when he gently touches the crook of my arm.  Then there is taking a shower together.  Soaping him down and being soaped down is neat and slippery.  How about sucking on nipples?  Taking a walk, hand in hand also rates pretty high on my scale.  Good sex is more than genital stimulation. 

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RE: improving masturbation - 6/4/2009 10:25:10 AM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		peppermint, yup I think of shared showers as a type of forplay if that's why we're in the shower, I don't know that I said good sex wasn't more than just genitals, and I hope it wasn't taken that I did, cause I know better than to think that*grins*

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RE: improving masturbation - 6/8/2009 10:38:05 AM   
xcheryl


Posts: 9
Joined: 6/7/2009
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline 		renicky

I agree with what most have said here....you need to let your Dom know what works for you. If he's a considerate man, then he will proceed as you describe/show him and slowly try other stimulation with you.

As for internal orgasms, I never had one until I hit my 40's and they are the best for me....beats a clitorial orgasm anyday. Don't let this bum you out....every person responds to stimuli differently. It's like one woman who has multiple tiny orgasms while the next woman has one huge one....everyone is different.

Cheers!
xcheryl

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RE: improving masturbation - 6/15/2009 1:10:14 PM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		I used to masturbate like that too, could get myself off through my clothes in ten seconds flat sometimes...and i faked a lot of orgasms for guys...usually when it seemed very important to them for me to have one, see i always liked to please them...
It took me forever it seems to beable to open my body, but i did learn...the trick is to go with the flow and try to be honest to yourself as much as anything else...if you like humping your hand i suggest you carry on enjoying it until you find something equally nice to do that gets you off, and you will eventually i am sure...
And everything GypsyQueen said

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RE: improving masturbation - 6/20/2009 11:31:32 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: playfulotter

I hate to be blunt..but i think most women get off on a man licking their clit and in your case..very lightly.......tell him to do that! Or I should say suggest it...oops..


Sex is like chinese food. You don't leave untill you both get your cookies.

With the help of a gracious lesbian couple in college, I learned how G Spots and clits can be difficult to continously hit over and over during intercourse to triggor an orgasim. I love using more than just my dick to make a womans body tingle all over.

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RE: improving masturbation - 6/21/2009 9:34:37 AM   
Scotty306134


Posts: 172
Joined: 5/16/2004
Status: offline 		 Hi rednicky... I know several people who have difficulty verbalizing what they need done or conveyed to someone else. It helps when they write out a letter or note to the other person. I Your case if I were Your Dom, it would greatly help me if You were to show me your post. It would be a great help in my learning how to please You. It would also be a great converstion starter. Best of luck, Scotty

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RE: improving masturbation - 6/28/2009 4:13:05 PM   
LadyHexx


Posts: 48
Joined: 2/27/2009
Status: offline 		I dont think you need to "improve" anything...
As loong as it works for you, then its fine right?

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