Height

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HeavansKeeper -> Height (6/7/2009 11:22:19 PM)
In the vanilla dating and sex world, height is universally an asset for men. It comes first: TALL, dark and handsome. Not everyone cares, but most women agree: "I want my man to be taller than me." Some truly don't care. Some divert the question by offering "Personality is what matters" and some lie. There are practical reasons to desire a tall mate, and secondary reasons. Other than reaching stuff on high shelves, I think the main reason height is important to women is because they want to feel small and safe in their man's arms. I cannot, at this time, verify, but the average woman seems quite submissive* (outside of the workplace). Womenfolk always get so giddy about big long arms scooping them up. My question: In the D/s world, is it any different? For women, do you correlate height with some manner of dominance? (Obviously the issue of tall submissive men isn't really at play with that query). About me: I'm really quite short for a man. It's not something that bothers me, I'm aware of my strengths and "getting stuff down" is not one. In hindsight, though, my sex life would have gone a lot more smoothly had I been 6'4'' instead of 5'4''. I have no grievance for women wanting tall guys, but I did get the short straw =). In earnest, do you respectable people consider height as a factor in anything more than a happenstance trait? (with particular emphasis in regard to height's respective effect on dominance) TL;DR: Is being tall a dominant trait? -minor edits- *likely a due to socialization... But that's a different bag of cats.

aravain -> RE: Height (6/7/2009 11:46:08 PM)
~FR~ I dunno where I fall into the demographics for this, really. I'm tall (6'7"). I have, for most of my life, been the 'tall guy' and all that; only recently have I met a slew of guys taller than me! I find guys taller than me intimidating. I don't associate them with dominance... just aversion. I don't like feeling short (which, since I've experienced it so little I feel when someone's around who's just a couple inches taller than me)! It'd be kinda a turn off. But I've noticed that girls who have been interested in me (of which there were more in High School, when I wasn't quite so, er, open about my homosexuality) that it's usually a mixture of the height and personality that first attracts them. I ain't no looker, But I'm fiercely protective of my friends. Add that to my physical size... well, I'm convinced it's why some of them crushed on me [:D] Me? I'd prefer a guy who's around 6'. A bit more than a head shorter than me... too much taller and hugging/cuddling becomes awkward [8D]

hlen5 -> RE: Height (6/7/2009 11:52:54 PM)
I definitely like my guy to be taller than me. Much taller if possible. It makes me feel petite (no small task!!) and sheltered. I'm 5'5" and my last (vanilla) guy was (and still is!!) 6'4". I don't reject men out of hand due to their height (or weight, or eye color, etc).

littlesarbonn -> RE: Height (6/7/2009 11:53:47 PM)
Height is one of those things that no matter what you do, it's still going to be a factor with some people. I'm 5'5", and I realize that is a negative with some women. Rather than focus on it or even care, I don't think hardly a second thought about it. If some woman actually believes she's going to find a better partner than me because the other person is taller, then she's as bad as any guy that thinks a woman with a cute ass is much more suitable a mate than one with not so cute of one. It's that sort of thing that causes someone to have to feel inadequate when in reality it's someone else's stupidity at being so tied to physical necessities that I realize I'm far better off without someone like that in the first place.

Vendaval -> RE: Height (6/8/2009 12:00:00 AM)
I pay very little attention to the height of potential partners. Most people remember me for being short 4'10" and curvy.

MissSepphora1 -> RE: Height (6/8/2009 12:04:28 AM)
I am 5'3" tall almost and I like men taller than me, but not too tall. I don't want to have to strain to kiss a guy when we're standing side by side, or feel like a child beside him. And trust me, having sex with a man and staring at his nipple, is no big turn on - to me anyway.

ZenDragoness -> RE: Height (6/8/2009 2:13:05 AM)
Height is a lifetime topic for me, because being 43 years old and being 5' 10'', it was not easy as i was younger. Height is def. no dominant trait, i have seen dominants in every height. Maybe being not tall and dominant means that you have learned more ways to assert your dominance, because their is a social connection, or even biological, between Height and dominance. My men and women have come in all heights. There is no special height i am attracted to, much more i love long and beautiful hair or a nice ass. But i renember as i was 15 and madly in love with another 15 year old boy, he was 1-2 inch shorter than me and after 2 years, he grew some more and was 1 inch taller than me. It really meant something to him. My current and dominant husband is 5' 7'' and it was never a problem for us, my first husband was 6' 3'' and it although was fine.

WyldHrt -> RE: Height (6/8/2009 2:15:59 AM)
I'm fairly tall for a female (5'9"), and my preference is for a Dom my height or taller who weighs more than I do. That said, I do not equate height with dominance at all, as some of the most dominant men I've met are quite a bit shorter than I am. It is simply a personal preference, and certainly not the only factor when it comes to whether a man captures my interest. JMHO

FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Height (6/8/2009 2:34:44 AM)
I don't care about height unless there is an enormous difference (>3" shorter than my 5'10ish), and I haven't fallen for him yet. M

eyesopened -> RE: Height (6/8/2009 2:43:32 AM)
At pretty darn close to 5'2" most men are taller than me so I've rarely given height a thought. While I'm pretty poor at analogies.... in all of nature it would appear that the first rule in sex for males is "get noticed". Males of many species are more colorful, larger or in some other way more noticable than the female and they put on displays designed to attract attention. Human beings really aren't all that different from animals in this respect. It's just easier to see a person who is tall. I honestly think this is the (no pun intended) long and short of it. Taller guys get noticed more than shorter guys. I have never considered height to be a dominant trait, just a trait no different than hair color, eye color or any other physical trait. I have never been attracted to men based on height.

kuriouswitch -> RE: Height (6/8/2009 2:56:20 AM)
I'm 5'11" so I'm tall for a woman. I'm used to being the same height or taller than most men, I never really thought about height being a factor in "choosing" a partner but I do like that Master is 3-4 inches taller than me. Hes just tall enough that when I hug him I can bury my face in his chest. If he were the same height or shorter though it wouldn't change how I felt about him. Height just isn't an important factor, just a nice bonus.

LadySweetOrSour -> RE: Height (6/8/2009 3:02:46 AM)
In truth, I likes my boys tall, the taller the better. It's not a dominance thing, I just likes em tall. Not necessarily dark and handsome, but it doesn't hurt.[:D] I'm a shortarse, but I don't think it makes me need to be more dominant. I just AM short and dominant.[8D]

littlewonder -> RE: Height (6/8/2009 3:36:25 AM)
the qualities I like in a man aren't any different in bdsm than in "vanilla" and it probably does have something to do with dominance. Studies have shown that tall men are more apt to get a job than the shorter ones applying. They seem to get further ahead in life than shorter men. I also like the feeling of him towering over me. It makes me feel secure to look up and see him there.

DesFIP -> RE: Height (6/8/2009 3:44:33 AM)
It isn't a factor of dominance, but it is a factor in chemistry for me. Beyond that, I know too many short guys who try to compensate by being domineering, not dominant, the Napoleonic Complex. And I have a definite aversion to that.

GYPZYQUEEN -> RE: Height (6/8/2009 4:27:05 AM)
OP: I do not look at height much..or care.. as for a dominant trait ....... its all in the MIND.. I get queries from subs asking ME how tall I am and that they cannot submit to a shorter woman..??and woudl I wera shoes to be over 6'///[:'(] . I am 5'6" so av. I guess and my first 2 "husbands #1 and #2 in the same POLY home were..* bh 6'1"( 280)massive and thr other r 4'11" .. .I am sure we looked interesting when we shopped and were out together.!! They came into my life..we loved. and lived in harmony..and I noticed the heights in photos when they came back and was actually shocked ...* of interest...perhaps...there are giant D's on here & giant subs...and there are also little ppl subs and little ppl 'D's One of the most beloved and "powerful" DOMS in the city here is about 36"(inches)* in height..* IT IS ABOUT presence( feeling) and in some cases preference( visual) GQ

KMsAngel -> RE: Height (6/8/2009 4:42:23 AM)
my preference for height is based on wanting to feel protected. wanting to put my head on his chest. wanting to be tucked under an arm and cuddled. wanting to hear the voice rumbling over my head. that being said, my ex was 6'2", i'm 5'5". that's really the last time i was hugged by a male that wasn't related. i do miss it. perhaps i want strong arms and warm heart more than height now.

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Height (6/8/2009 5:04:48 AM)
most submissives here do equate height with a man's dominance ...i don't. a man's height is far less important to me. i don't care if he's shorter, taller or the same height as i am. when searching, i looked beyond the physical "tall, white/dark, handsome" aspect of a man. i prefer considering the common interests we share and compatibility first.

xiam -> RE: Height (6/8/2009 5:14:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper Not everyone cares, but most women agree: "I want my man to be taller than me." Some truly don't care. Some divert the question by offering "Personality is what matters" and some lie. Count me in as someone who truly doesn't care. Sometimes, in a way, it's sort of fun to stand a few (or even several) inches over my partner, knowing full well that later he will bring me to my knees. ;)

SomethingCatchy -> RE: Height (6/8/2009 5:25:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn Height is one of those things that no matter what you do, it's still going to be a factor with some people. I'm 5'5", and I realize that is a negative with some women. Rather than focus on it or even care, I don't think hardly a second thought about it. If some woman actually believes she's going to find a better partner than me because the other person is taller, then she's as bad as any guy that thinks a woman with a cute ass is much more suitable a mate than one with not so cute of one. It's that sort of thing that causes someone to have to feel inadequate when in reality it's someone else's stupidity at being so tied to physical necessities that I realize I'm far better off without someone like that in the first place. You may not have meant to be insulting, but it sounds like a bitter tirade more than 'I'm happy with my lot in life.' I, personally, wouldn't be sexually attracted to you because of your height, and sex and attraction is a huge deal to me and I wouldn't have a relationship with someone who I'm not turned on for. Saying that my need to be sexually attracted to a man is stupid is insulting, but maybe you mean that you don't like people who are only focused on physical features?

CatdeMedici -> RE: Height (6/8/2009 5:50:44 AM)
Call Me a brat, I do care, I am 5'7", 5'10 in heels--I am very uncomfortable with someone shorter than I am--vanilla or otherwise. I don't think that height and Dominance go hand in hand, but in My hand, he better be taller.

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