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Oberonrex -> RE: Fantasy vs. Reality... (2/11/2006 6:37:59 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: bear372217355
Do you find rape and/or non-consentual enslavement erotic or stimulating in literature?
And if yes....
Why is it ok in fantasy, but so repugnant in reality?
Literature: It can be, if done very well. Sturgeon's Law applies, and most is dreck. When I do read it, I can do so with detachment and analyze it with a clinical eye. I know that it is not real.
Reality: It is ugly, brutal, demeaning, and damaging -- the complete antithesis of that for which I have chosen to stand. Part of that comes from working through a trusted someone trying something with me one time. Part comes from seeing what has happened to others not as fortunate. Part comes from studying history.
Scene: It is not real. It is consensual. There are safety nets in place because you know you are tap dancing into a mindfield, and I mean that for both parties.
For me, I was lucky. It was a trusted figure in a trusted environment where I <i>SHOULD</i> have been safe (a home). I resisted, and once free, I made use of the fact that I had the option of sending a message via weapon. Message recieved. Most are not so lucky, and even the lucky ones deal with a lot. And, yes, there are days I wish I had shot both that person and one other that day, for I will always wonder who else they might have hurt after. Feh.
Will I do strong play? Yes, but I make damn sure about some things first and I monitor the heck out of myself and the other party. I have turned down some attractive opportunities because the play desired crossed my line on parts of this. A couple were over the play itself, and one or two were because despite the age of the people involved, I did not feel they could form true consent. I don't care if they are 70, if they lack the maturity and intelligence to form consent, they ain't playing with me.
Anything can be turned to or into a positive growth experience, but it is a heck of a lot easier to start with positive and go from there. Years back, a speaker at a BDSM group summed up a lot of how I feel. The topic was abuse versus what is done in BDSM. The way to tell them apart is easy. Abuse destroys. BDSM grows. Those with whom I scene or who enter my service may find themselves stiff, sore, bruised, or whatever; but, they have a positive experience and grow -- even if that growth is just a learning experience of "I never knew you could do X with Y." That is my choice, my dream, my goal for me and my House. I am not interested in breaking, damaging, or destroying. That is what rape and non-consensual acts do, they damage and destroy.
BTW, some of the best NC literature can be found in science fiction, under fan fiction, sub category "Slash." Sturgeon's Law applies there too, but the good stuff is very, very good and well written. The term "slash" comes from the way it was listed on boards as a title with the notation "CharacterX/CharacterY" (i.e. Kirk/Spock). They are mostly same sex pairings, and it is interesting to note that most of the male/male slash is written by females (I know a few of them, and can vouch that they are female), and that some/most of the female/female was being written by guys.
Sorry for the long reply. Really do need to get the safety switch installed on that button...
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