BDSM Lifestyle/ Domestic Abuse in News

BDSM Lifestyle/ Domestic Abuse in News (Full Version)

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Annonymous123 -> BDSM Lifestyle/ Domestic Abuse in News (2/10/2006 5:32:40 PM)
Found these links very interesting. Is this what our lifestyle is coming to? http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=16102112&BRD=1719&PAG=461&dept_id=25271&rfi=8 http://www.capwiz.com/politicsol/webreturn/?url=http://www.belleville.com/mld/newsdemocrat

Annonymous123 -> RE: BDSM Lifestyle/ Domestic Abuse in News (2/10/2006 5:36:36 PM)
Follow up....sorry, the second article: http://www.capwiz.com/politicsol/webreturn/?url=http://www.belleville.com/mld/newsdemocrat doesn't link directly. Click on "news", then story "Protective order denied under "slavery contract".

Chaingang -> RE: BDSM Lifestyle/ Domestic Abuse in News (2/10/2006 9:39:20 PM)
It's always so hard to comment on these types of stories without any real knowledge of what happened between these two people. I like that the judge gave some weight to the contract though. On the other hand, punching a woman so that she lands against a door and is knocked out is battery worthy of a charge that should stick if the act is uncontested. Classic situation: you shove or hit someone causing them to lose balance and injure themselves in an even more serious manner than you intended by hitting themselves on some subsequent object. Seriously uncool thing to do to anyone, esp. someone in your care. Personal rule: never strike anyone in anger. Violence is for premeditated activities (e.g. BDSM) or for self-defense only. Even discipline should be carried out as a premeditated act and without anger - you do it because it is instructive not because it's an emotional release of anger.

slavejali -> RE: BDSM Lifestyle/ Domestic Abuse in News (2/16/2006 5:21:34 PM)
I agree, its hard to comment, but I do have a story to share, kinda similar: Master told me about this: He knew a couple who had met online. Been together online for a long time, playing around with typed words etc. Supposedly sharing their kinks and fantasies and designing their relationship and what they would do when they met etc etc etc. When they finally met and started playing, The Dom did exactly what they had been discussing online for ages, that they had both agreed to. I cant remember what it involved exactly...but anyways..the girl had marks and went to the police and reported him for abuse stating, "she didnt realise it was really going to hurt" (ugh doh) I'm not typing this out to discuss safety aspects or whatever...but just from the persepective of Doms, we hear so much of the risks for slaves and submissives...but really all it would take is a submissive or slave to not like how things went, or freak out or whatever and go to the police with marks to show of their abuse...Doms really take a chance too. In one way I was glad to see the Judge took the flavour of the relationship into account, although like I said in the beginning, its very difficult to know what really happened unless we were there.

LeatherBentOne -> RE: BDSM Lifestyle/ Domestic Abuse in News (3/8/2006 7:30:14 AM)
The article reads: Attorneys Don Groshong, who represented Meyer, and Miranda Nickelson, who represented Webb, spent most of the hearing arguing about Groshong’s contention that the Jan. 11 incident was a form of contact incidental to the type of lifestyle agreed on in the "contract." This is a question of what constitutes BDSM vs. domestic abuse. Since this incident appears to have ocurred as a result of an argument and appears to be non-consentual, the courts should recognise domestic abuse as domestic abuse and not as BDSM which is consentual. This is what separates Dominants from common criminals . . . consent. Domestic abuse is not BDSM. Domestic abuse is (however) a crime and should be treated as such regardless that the perpetrator/victim prefer a BDSM lifestyle.

submissvelilbrat -> RE: BDSM Lifestyle/ Domestic Abuse in News (6/24/2006 8:02:50 AM)
Thank you LBO...i hate when people use bdsm as an excuse to abuse. Abuse is abuse and is NEVER BDSM!

Alumbrado -> RE: BDSM Lifestyle/ Domestic Abuse in News (6/24/2006 10:27:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LeatherBentOne ...Since this incident appears to have ocurred as a result of an argument and appears to be non-consentual, the courts should recognise domestic abuse as domestic abuse and not as BDSM which is consentual. This is what separates Dominants from common criminals . . . consent. Domestic abuse is not BDSM. Domestic abuse is (however) a crime and should be treated as such regardless that the perpetrator/victim prefer a BDSM lifestyle. Exactly. As pointed out in the earlier thread on this, the perpetrator should have been charged with domestic abuse in a criminal trial, and the evidence of said abuse should have been presented, at which point I suspect that any judge would have pointed out that the BDSM contract didn't apply to non-consentual abuse, and ruled on the evidence. A hearing for a protective order is not the place to expect punishment for previous bad acts, it is a place to convince the government that you are in danger from someone's future bad acts.

Veryleggyredhead -> RE: BDSM Lifestyle/ Domestic Abuse in News (6/25/2006 10:26:05 AM)
Anonymous, Thank you for a couple of excellent links. I am interested in this subject and found the articles to be thought provoking. Interesting that a precedent has been set defining such a contract as admissible in a court of law. Given this the advisability of drawing up and signing such a contract will be viewed by some as a good thing. leggy

slvgirl -> RE: BDSM Lifestyle/ Domestic Abuse in News (8/6/2006 6:31:58 PM)
i have to say i agree.....even if there is or was a contract, people still lose it. Who's to say this person did not get this contract for that exact reason? i just left my former master (purposely not cap'd) because he lost it on me, i called the police. They made him leave and in the state of CA if you have the police come for domestic, they automatically press charges. i didn't know this at the time however. i had been totally isolated and not made friends in the area i relocated to, so had no where to go. He took all of my pay checks, so i had no money. i slept in the closet for couple weeks until i had enough to get out. During that time, he managed to trick me into comming home and getting into something sexy for him. (He started being nice and apologizing etc) He got me chained up and blindfolded and proceeded to do a hardcore punishment scene on me, hitting me until i told him he had the right to punish me and do whatever he wanted to me, as i was his property. i found out afterwards he had taped the entire ordeal...he thought for some sort of protection with the police. i am curious as to what they would have done with the tape, as they are not experienced in to read the body and see it was unconsentual. When your getting hit like that, you will say whatever he wants. i have since obtained the tape....i have it in a safe place in case something happens to me.. sg

MisPandora -> RE: BDSM Lifestyle/ Domestic Abuse in News (8/8/2006 10:01:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LeatherBentOne The article reads: Attorneys Don Groshong, who represented Meyer, and Miranda Nickelson, who represented Webb, spent most of the hearing arguing about Groshong’s contention that the Jan. 11 incident was a form of contact incidental to the type of lifestyle agreed on in the "contract." This is a question of what constitutes BDSM vs. domestic abuse. Since this incident appears to have ocurred as a result of an argument and appears to be non-consentual, the courts should recognise domestic abuse as domestic abuse and not as BDSM which is consentual. This is what separates Dominants from common criminals . . . consent. Domestic abuse is not BDSM. Domestic abuse is (however) a crime and should be treated as such regardless that the perpetrator/victim prefer a BDSM lifestyle. I agree with you totally. I have to wonder though, about the state laws where this incident happened. There are only a few (TN being one of them) that consent is not an element of a crime. Most laws have a "consent clause" in their crimes code that makes even consenting to something that is otherwise illegal STILL illegal in the eyes of the law. I don't know if that was taken into consideration by the judge in this circumstance or not.

Alumbrado -> RE: BDSM Lifestyle/ Domestic Abuse in News (8/8/2006 1:05:46 PM)
The common misconception about consent or lack thereof not being an element of battery has been pretty thoroughly explicated in other recent threads on this matter. And possible reasons for BDSM convictions that seem to fly in the face of the consent exception have been posited. Even in Tennessee, I'm waiting for someone on to show a successful prosecution for battery where the consenting people involved were playing football, boxing, acting, or otherwise engaging in consensual contact activities. (Or for that matter, a conviction for rape, where both adult parties were freely consenting to sex, and had the legal right and ability to do so).

PhxDom58 -> RE: BDSM Lifestyle/ Domestic Abuse in News (8/8/2006 2:05:30 PM)
I have to say I believe the judge erred on the wrong side of this issue. It's my opinion that since they were arguing all day the push done in anger. Any push causing unconciousness could easily have led to more serious injury including death. Having someone in the lifestyle who interprets a contract in those terms is bad for the community as a whole

princessrn -> RE: BDSM Lifestyle/ Domestic Abuse in News (8/20/2006 3:35:51 AM)
i to had the same experience as you slvgirl , but i put this down to my wrong choices in life and unable to see reason with a man who had two people living in him . not my lifestyle he only used the live the life style when he could use it as reason / excuse for beating bulling and demanding his own way . what he was in word type made him look like he knew every thing in r/l well i found out later his record was long on abuse to woman well b4 he found D/s or BDSM ... live and learn princessrn

masterhyyde -> RE: BDSM Lifestyle/ Domestic Abuse in News (8/22/2006 6:15:25 AM)
you have to master yourself b4 you can master another.

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