Hard to get, or blowing me off nicely?

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Hard to get, or blowing me off nicely? - 2/10/2006 5:41:30 PM

Beatmehrdr

Posts: 61
Joined: 8/18/2005
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The incident that started the previous thread got me thinking about two email exhanges I had with a couple of women in the past, one a Domme, and one a sub exploring her Domme side. The exchanges started out well, we flirted a bit online, and I talked on the phone with one, and I *think* I had a bit of chemistry with both of them. When I mentioned an R/T meeting(again, in a vanilla setting), they both seemed to get a little flustered, and seemed to demur, though looking back they didn't really respond with an outright "no, not interested." (It was more like "Gosh, I'm so busy these days") I didn't really press the question beyond the initial inquiry, and, looking back, I wonder if I maybe should have asked again, or pressed the question just a little more than I did.

This might seem like a dumb question, but when it comes to wooing the opposite sex, I really am a complete idiot. How do I tell when a woman is playing hard to get, v. when a woman is saying "Let's just be friends"?

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RE: Hard to get, or blowing me off nicely? - 2/10/2006 5:44:44 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Beatmehrdr
... How do I tell when a woman is playing hard to get, v. when a woman is saying "Let's just be friends"?

Actually, in a perfect world, a Domme would be dominant enough to just tell you her interest...or not.

** Edited for typo. I have to remember to read what I write *before* I post.

< Message edited by Misstoyou -- 2/10/2006 5:47:06 PM >

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RE: Hard to get, or blowing me off nicely? - 2/10/2006 7:26:21 PM

MistressFire70

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
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Yeah, but it's not a perfect world. Dominants can be unsure of themselves just like all other people, especially those who are new (I remember how nervous I was going to my first real time thing). The chances that you will run into new people that haven't done any real time are pretty good when meeting online.

How soon after email did you talk on the phone? How soon after talking on the phone did you ask for real time? If these all happened within a short period of time, you might be moving too fast for some people, especially new people. I mean, after all, you or she could be an ax murderer or one of those kinky perverts or somethin'. ;-)

Honestly, the best way to meet people is to try and find local groups. Those people, it's pretty sure, are already interested in real time. If you're going to persue online, you may just have to be patient. I've actually only met one person that I initially met on collarme in real time...and this was at a national conference (I encouraged him to attend; it was his first. Too bad we live on opposite coasts).

Patience, grasshopper. If it's worth having, it's worth waiting/working for.

Fire

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RE: Hard to get, or blowing me off nicely? - 2/10/2006 7:47:05 PM

LadyJulieAnn

Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
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If I'm as interested in someone as they seem to be in me, I'm not going to play hard to get. I'm going to make sure I get him. My guess is that those women just weren't that "into" you or weren't ready to take it to real life.

Hang in there. I believe that if a situation is right and the chemistry is there, you won't be left wondering anything.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to Beatmehrdr)

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RE: Hard to get, or blowing me off nicely? - 2/10/2006 9:31:33 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

If I'm as interested in someone as they seem to be in me, I'm not going to play hard to get. I'm going to make sure I get him. My guess is that those women just weren't that "into" you or weren't ready to take it to real life.

My sentiments exactly.
I would say that after asking on 2 separate occasions they're too busy to meet, than they are most likely playing online, or not into you. M

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RE: Hard to get, or blowing me off nicely? - 2/12/2006 6:00:29 PM

MysticalPhoenix

Posts: 212
Joined: 11/30/2005
From: Kelloggsville, Vanilla County MI
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Beatmehrdr
How do I tell when a woman is playing hard to get, v. when a woman is saying "Let's just be friends"?

Unless she gives you the "I just want to be friends" speech, it's very difficult to tell the difference between someone who is just "playing" hard to get, and someone who "is" hard to get.

One thing to keep in mind when trying to figure that out. If she is playing hard to get, she's starting with the mind games before you even meet-is that something you really want in a person?

If you find yourself in the position of asking the question, it's best to just opt out of the situation. Either she wants to play games with you, or she does't want you.

Phoenix

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