GeekFreak
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ORIGINAL: Screwtape
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I don't know exactly what you mean by "be".
When I use the term be/being I am trying to determine if a "switch role" (in my described situation) is just the age old Nature -vs- Nurture argument. An answer will not be found in my lifetime, and I don't expect one. But if you (or anyone) looks back to the beginning what was the catalyst? Was this a strong facet of your personality already, or did it grow from a mere curiosity or testing of ones own limits. As you said I have a submissive side, I wonder if that is enough?
Personally, it was just generally curiosity. I'm still curious...and probably will always have some curiosity about most things I've yet to experience. :) As far as those personality tests (I've taken several variations) I alway end up with high amounts of the dominant classifications and very little of the classifications that involve servitude. This somewhat plays out in how I'd prefer to bottom. For me, my desired role as a bottom is usually not one of straight obedient service -- I am much more motivated by bondage and slight amounts of force. I could certainly be in a service oriented role, but I don't think I'd be comfortable there long-term, regardless of how wonderful the dominant was.
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Sincere, again, is a bit vague, but I'm going to say you mean something like "I want the submission to feel like me desiring it and not me playing a role"
I think this is a very accurate statement. Sincerity is (for me) is the honest exploration of some aspect of my personality. I agree that nobody is 100% D/S and I am no exception. I have a submissive side but I keep tightly controlled, never really giving it to another...
...This pleasant submission stuff seems like far to much work for me. But for her and hopefully myself in the long run it is worth exploring.
Well, as described, sincerity is honest exploration. So, certainly you could serve sincerely, if that meant you were exploring. You might not find yourself to react the same way as the males you gave examples of, though (or you may). It will have a lot to do with your wife's expectations of a submissive and you in submissive role, I think...
As an example (this may or may not be anything like what you'd encounter, but I think the phases of the scenario are somewhat universal): Your wife makes the order of having you make dinner, bring it to her, and kneel at her feet while feeding it to her. You do as requested, and try to do as best you can for her, but find yourself not delighting in the process but almost "suffering through it" for her. Now, I don't mean suffering and you enjoy the suffering so it's this weird "not really suffering"...I mean you really aren't all that keen on doing it, but are doing it regardless because you love her (or maybe are just curious to experience it). Now, your wife will most likely notice that this particular action is not putting you in a wonderful state of bliss. She will most likely discuss it briefly with you, in some form or another, when realizing this.
Now, here's kinda where things grow and adapt. Her reaction to your reaction may be one of irritation, not understanding why you don't like submitting in that way. Or, her reaction may be one of understanding, where she most likely will not do this as often and look for other ways to have you submit. If she does start to adapt to your specific needs as the submissive, you may, in turn, adapt to her needs. Because she chooses not to require certain things, you may find yourself very greatful for this and grow stronger in your desire to serve someone who is obviously thinking of you in such a loving way. In fact, you might even find yourself going out of your way to try things again just because you want to actively show that gratitude. As time goes on, and small adaptations continue, you may both grow to really appreciate how the other treats you in the role of dominant and submissive and find a niche that is wonderfully suited for the both of you. Alternatively, neither of you will be able to comfortably make some of the adaptations, and the exploring will just end at exploring.
Obviously there are many different scenarios, and varying details even in a scenario like this. However, I think two loving and mature people will find a process fairly similar to this. Your submission would certainly be sincere during this time, as long as you decided well beforehand that you're always going to be honest with your assessment of each action and not to give "fake" reactions that don't really mirror your feelings.
Your final words are a pretty concise summary of the situation "...it is worth exploring". I think exploration is always worth it, granted you go in with the right mindset. I tried wine the other day...first time ever. I HATED it! But It was really fun to hate it! I may try some other types to see if I hate them as much. I most likely will, but I'll enjoy being able to see if I do. :) Taking a stab to see if you can learn to bottom happily for your wife shouldn't really have any risk, and almost all reward. The only damage will be caused by either (or both) of you not being good/loving to eachother during the process. Most people suck at life; I don't know if you guys do or not, so only you know you and your wife well enough to know if there is any inherent risk with such sincere exploration. :P
< Message edited by GeekFreak -- 6/16/2009 1:23:16 PM >
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Can one learn to be a switch. - 
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