Where is the NON-bs? (Full Version)

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morebanter -> Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 7:35:17 PM)

Perhaps it is my cynical personality, but I read "success stories," positive experiences, etc...but I feel as though there are too many others out there ready to take advantage of the lonely, the wishful...those searching for that "something" (or someone) to add to their lives only later have a moment of clarity to sadly realize that, in the end, it was only ever just about getting your money or just freaking toying with you.
"Fairy tales can come true / it could happen to you / if you're young at heart." I just don't really think so anymore.
Questions abound for me! And perhaps it is b/c I am new, but I don't think I am THAT naive...I think that we all can so easily become drawn into something that we desire most if the right buttons are pushed, words said or promises made.
So, I digress.
Like many I am sure, I have my own specific questions as to if certain (to use Habermas) "spheres" exist and I hope this thread can help give me to invoke Pound, "give me a little light, light a rushlight, to lead back to splender."




RedMagic1 -> RE: Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 7:50:59 PM)

Are you able to speak in a straightforward way, a way that does not require footnotes?  If you cultivate that skill, you will be much more likely to make yourself understood to others.  If you always talk in this rather opaque style, you set yourself up for miscommunication (i.e., BS).  I've read Pound, and I never got into Habermas, but I don't see any value in advertising the books I've read to others.  This isn't the graduate student literary seminar.  People post here with all kinds of educational backgrounds, and some of the least formally educated people are the smartest.




morebanter -> RE: Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 8:10:16 PM)

I can speak in a "straightforward manner" and I am most certainly not "advertising" the books I've read, nor the the education I have, nor anything save the thoughts on my mind...I am actually quite humble and you make me seem out to be pretentious and snotty which is/was neither my intention nor mean by posting.
Sorry to come back at you, but caring more about about the manner in which I write and not the CONTENT about which I posting kind of proves part of my point. Personally, I think anyone can understand what I am getting at despite whatever background s/he may have as these are feelings/issues/etc. we all must deal with as beings in this world.
Oh wait, and honestly, anyone who has an anonymous 15thC Aztec quote as their sig hardly has a place to talk with regards to using allusion, etc. LOL! ;)




IrishMist -> RE: Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 8:12:53 PM)

Is it a full moon or something? Cause I swear the crazies are coming out of the cracks...

[8|]




Jeptha -> RE: Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 8:16:19 PM)

A little cynicism, just a dash, in the right proportion, is probably a good thing.
Keeps one's balloon on a string.




ShaharThorne -> RE: Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 8:16:39 PM)

Last quarter, but I swear the gates were left unlocked...




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 8:17:36 PM)

LOL!  The full moon is way over... I blame sunspots!

Truly, Morebanter, you do not write in a clear or concise manner.  As for finding non-BS, this is the INTERNET.   You need filtering skills! 




IrishMist -> RE: Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 8:18:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne

Last quarter, but I swear the gates were left unlocked...

*sigh*
Ok, who left the gates open again?

I swear...
[:o]




morebanter -> RE: Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 8:18:38 PM)

::sigh::

If I have been labeled as "crazy" or whatever already, that just makes me sad.




YoursMistress -> RE: Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 8:21:21 PM)

[sm=jerry.gif] 

Chance the Gardener
: I like to watch...   Being There (1979)




IrishMist -> RE: Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 8:21:42 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: morebanter

::sigh::

If I have been labeled as "crazy" or whatever already, that just makes me sad.

[sm=dunno.gif]
Oh well...life sure does suck, don't it?




ShaharThorne -> RE: Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 8:25:39 PM)

Which is why I advocate for the education of the mentally ill and their families. Sometimes the pdocs just push drugs without looking at how the medication can affect the patient (hates her depakote BTW).




stella41b -> RE: Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 8:25:47 PM)

To the OP

I'm sorry but you are neither Samuel Beckett nor Jean Paul Sartre, not least on the strength of the writing I've seen so far. Nothing is being conveyed in your postings which makes any sense and to be honest your postings read as if you've only started learning English a few months ago.

How about some plain simple English, if it's not too much to ask?




LadyPact -> RE: Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 8:30:46 PM)

In My opinion, OP, no your post wasn't clear.

Is the issue that you read the positive experiences that folks post about, but have yet to have those kinds of things happen to you?

Is your complaint that you have had too many brushes with those who are less than honest, or scamming for money?

Is the trouble that you've discovered BDSM, but have yet to found anyone to engage in it with you?

If you would like to make the original more clear, or follow up, I'm sure there will be those who would be willing to offer an opinion or answer your question.




LadySweetOrSour -> RE: Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 8:30:47 PM)

This is life, there is BS everywhere you go. Did you really think that there is a place where no BS is lying 6 inches deep? As Lady Hibiscus said, use your filtering skills.
Whether you are jaded or not, a believer or not, there are many people, here and everywhere else, who DO make strong connections and relationships. People find each other in all kinds of ways and it takes time and effort. No ones perfect anything falls from the sky into ones lap. Disappointments are rife, disappearing acts happen, shit happens, people move on, circumstances change, but when the time is right and the efforts been made then hey presto, something great comes along.

To lose hope is to lose the opportunities to find what you seek.

ps. Your last post is the most sense you've made. Keep going with that, drop the snotty attitude and CM is going to be much kinder and more helpful. People here are pretty amazing if you talk to them like people and not adversaries.






pyroaquatic -> RE: Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 8:33:02 PM)

Don't worry, I've been crazy for at least a decade and a half. I worry if I scare people away with what I write, or if people think I have no idea what I am talking about. Or if I have any idea what I am talking about half the time. My fingers, they move subconsciously they swear.

As for the BS.... there are plenty of people I agree/disagree with... There are many intelligent people on these boards. There are many dumbasses. I conclude I am a fool and a sage. Simply smelling a flower with possessions slung over the shoulder, walking off a cliff and into adventure.

The one common ground we all share is that we are blatantly human. At least I think some of us are.... (there we go with this thinking thing it gets me into so much trouble).

I am such a happy mistake.




WyldHrt -> RE: Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 8:41:42 PM)

quote:

If I have been labeled as "crazy" or whatever already, that just makes me sad.

You haven't, but the OP would have gone over better without the last sentence. IMO, it was a bit "out there" for this medium and did actually come off as a bit of pseudo-intellectual whatsis to those who understood it and gibberish to those who didn't  The grammatical mistakes and now corrected spelling error may well have contributed to that. Also, snapping at RedMagic for pointing out that your post was unclear was probably not a stellar move.

Moving on. There are and will always be game players and scammers using any online dating site to troll for victims. The key is to learn the signs and cut your losses before being sucked in. Doing so does take a bit of work and research, but is well worth it to minimize the chances of becoming a victim.

That said, as any number of folks on the forums can tell you, there are plenty of real people here looking for both friends and partners. Lots of couples met right here on the boards (many of them in PRS, for some odd reason [:D]), and lots more have gotten together with forum friends for parties or just to meet up and hang out.

Real folks are out there, but it is up to you to develop the skills to sort the wheat from the chaff. We cannot do that for you.




oceanwinds -> RE: Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 8:42:42 PM)

Hi Morebanter

You paint yourself as a victim. I see this happen here at least once a week. Someone starts a post with the wooo me syndrome. They put down those who use this site, because they havent found what they are looking for. Since I do not use this site to find someone, I am not overly concern about the people here at CM being real or not. I have learned a few things though, which I would like to share with you.

Victims are not many peoples cup of tea. They prefer to not start a relationship with those who see the world through a victims eyes. It would be way to much work to try, since eventually that person will scream, you victimize me.. People who start a post to complain about this or that are usually a bore, and this too pushes people away. I do realize in all walks of life you will have those that see the cup half full, or totally empty. They need to express their negativism like a plague. The world is dark and foreboding to them and instead of changing their outlook on life, they prefer to share their misery with others. 

I do not really think it would take a lot of intelligence or simply common sense to know if you introduce yourself complaining about the site you are on, you will only push people away. It would have the similarity of going to a restaurant and sitting down with a group of people you don't know and then inform them that the food is bad, service here is bad and all in all it is a horrible restaurant. In doing such, you will probably not be greeted well with the other people at the table, as well as ruining their enjoyment with your dark cloud.

The non-bs is when a person carries themselves well and can carry on a decent conversation without knocking everything or everyone in sight. It is when someone has enough self -respect that they also respect others. They look at life as an opportunity to experience the good, bad and ugly, without spreading bs to make themselves look important. They do not let what they cannot control get them down. They do not blame their own lack on others but look for opportunites to improve their life.

If i was looking for a Dom, it would never occur to me to start a post bashing people. I learned a long time ago this usually results in people not being interested in you. This really is so simple, but seems people just don't get it.





RedMagic1 -> RE: Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 8:45:52 PM)

Oceanwinds, that post was awesome.




peppermint -> RE: Where is the NON-bs? (6/15/2009 8:47:46 PM)

I'm not sure if you are asking anything at all.  You complain that some people are not nice.  Bad things happen to nice people.  On the other hand, good things happen to people and some people are very nice.  This is called "life." 

Glad you discovered that at a relatively young age.  Now, do you have a question you'd like to ask?




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