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RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/22/2009 4:16:36 AM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
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Sir has only ever punished me once and it had nothing to do with spanking. He's much more imaginative & makes the punishment fit the "crime." Wwe see Eeach Oother every weekend and i had been "teasing Him" mercilessly online all that week, so He put me through a loooong day's worth of O denial til late at night. Served my ass right, but i'm still thinking it was almost worth it. lmao When it comes to spanking, He spanks me cause Wwe both like it. :)

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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

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Post #: 21

RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/22/2009 4:55:50 AM

MasterTslave

Posts: 200
Joined: 8/24/2005
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Maybe sometimes. Master T likes to spank (or rather paddle my ass) just as part of our training sessions or for fun...these are much more mild...Now for punishments (which happen often some weeks) they are much harder and involve some devices that are not comfy. That is just our situation.

(in reply to pixidustpet)

Post #: 22

RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/22/2009 5:57:24 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: justme1980

Now that I have your attention
Is it my imagination or is it true that Doms seemed to be just a little too obsessed with punishment. Seems like they expect us to mess up, even hoping that we do, so they have justification to blister our bottoms?? thoughts??

It's certainly the case that some *doms* need an excuse to exercise their brand of sadism. Plenty of sub types do the same in reverse. There's nothing wrong with that, especially if they team up with someone who is content to *mess-up* to get the spanking they BOTH want to happen.

There's probably just as many doms that aren't comfortable just *doing it* for no reason other than they want to, as there are subs who can't just *ask for it* because they want it.

It's not really about punishment , it's about making it *ok*, in their mind, to whack a bum or to receive a whacking.

I tend to see it as a thinly disguised toppy/bottomy thing, rather than D/s.

agirl

(in reply to justme1980)

Post #: 23

RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/22/2009 6:06:29 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
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If I want to bend the little bitch over my knee and redden her ass, I sure as hell am not going to wait for her to mess up. I mean what happens if it is a long time between her screwing up? Grab her by the hair, drag her over your knee, start slowly and just keep going till she is squirming and whimpering.

You can't punish someone into being a good partner, hell you can't even beat a dog into being a good dog.

< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 6/22/2009 6:07:11 AM >

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 24

RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/22/2009 6:13:13 AM

Jayray

Posts: 9
Joined: 9/21/2005
Status: offline

Well, it depends on the Dom, of course. After many years, my submissive is very well trained. She is not prone to disobedience and rarely does anything that I consider "deserving" of punishment. We've joked about this now and then. If she doesn't disobey, then on what grounds can I "punish her"?

I should probably mention here that I have never "blistered her bottom." I've spanked her many times until her ass has turned bright crimson -- but leaving blisters isn't my
thing.

Anyway, as we grappled with this issue we eventually came to an understanding that as her Master, I don't "need" a reason to punish her. I may "punish her" purely for my pleasure. This too, however, can be a tricky dynamic. For if she is punished whether she pleases me or not, then why bother to please me?

The psychology of BDSM is truly crazy-making and I suppose that is part of its appeal. What is erotic punishment and how does it differ from erotic humiliation, that is if it differs at all? There are no absolutes in BDSM. Experienced players know this. As "one man's ceiling is another man's floor," "one man's perversion is another man's religion."

If your Dom wants to punish you -- and you crave this kind of treatment from him -- there are more than a few ways of finding common ground. One option is the proverbial role play -- there are countless examples of that in BDSM vids. For example, the housewife arrives home late or doesn't do the dishes -- knowing full well that she will be punished for her trangression. On the other hand, a sub might offer herself to her Dom for his full pleasure, whatever that might involve -- though that requires tremendous trust which usually has to develop over time.

For whatever they're worth, those are my thoughts.

(in reply to justme1980)

Post #: 25

RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/22/2009 6:37:57 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

If I want to bend the little bitch over my knee and redden her ass, I sure as hell am not going to wait for her to mess up. I mean what happens if it is a long time between her screwing up? Grab her by the hair, drag her over your knee, start slowly and just keep going till she is squirming and whimpering.

You can't punish someone into being a good partner, hell you can't even beat a dog into being a good dog.

I'm a slightly more obedient one though........grins

agirl

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 26

RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/22/2009 8:07:03 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
You can't punish someone into being a good partner, hell you can't even beat a dog into being a good dog.

QFT

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 27

RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/22/2009 9:03:24 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

...thoughts??

what you describe certainly hasn't been the case from this slave's perspective. almost ALL of the dominant folk she has been around over the years don't pine for opportunities to administer corporal punishment. it has been this slave's experience that punishment isn't fun for them. it represents a failure on their part...just as much, if not more as a failure on their submissive's part.
sadists, on the other hand...of the dominant, submissive or undeclared variety, quite often get a thrill from blistering a bottom. however, this slave hasn't had enough personal experience with sadists to even begin to generalize about their motivations aside from they just like it/lurrrve it when others are uncomfortable or in pain.

(in reply to justme1980)

Post #: 28

RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/22/2009 9:22:52 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

In the 3+ years we have been together Master had to punish me only once, it was not for nohing i did deserve it. It was a hard spanking punishment. I have been spanked by Master before for fun. This was not fun it hurt, and i am not into pain. of course if i enjoyed it it would not have been much of a punishment. Master does not like to punish me but he will if i have earned one. Sometimes i ask for a spanking and Master knows i mean a play one not a punishment one.

Some relationships are based on the punishment reward basid. From what i have read seems like mine most are not.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 29

RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/22/2009 10:41:42 AM

maia09

Posts: 113
Joined: 6/10/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

It's just your imagination.

LOL - too funny Ma'am.

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Owned by Chairman

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 30

RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/22/2009 4:20:58 PM

MMagic

Posts: 183
Joined: 2/9/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: justme1980

Now that I have your attention
Is it my imagination or is it true that Doms seemed to be just a little too obsessed with punishment. Seems like they expect us to mess up, even hoping that we do, so they have justification to blister our bottoms?? thoughts??

Um I don't fall in this camp. I love getting spankings and he loves giving them. In fact I have some saved up, like bank interest. I in fact provoke Sir so that he can add more on to the spankings. He jokingly says the other day...you know..this isn't supposed to be this fun, lol or something like that. Maybe your Dom(or Domme) thinks you like it too and that's why you get them so often? Perhaps tell them you don't.

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Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. -Mae West

(in reply to justme1980)

Post #: 31

RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/22/2009 4:46:59 PM

candisa

Posts: 127
Joined: 1/7/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: justme1980

Now that I have your attention
Is it my imagination or is it true that Doms seemed to be just a little too obsessed with punishment. Seems like they expect us to mess up, even hoping that we do, so they have justification to blister our bottoms?? thoughts??

greetings, justme

I also run into those types of personalities , their justification /obsession for punishment is a bit to harsh for my tastes. I strive to be good, to do well, I do not like tension in my relationship. There better be a damn good reason why he is blistering my arse. If I have done something wrong, I should know way in advance that I will have discipline, deserving of that mistake. Communication is key.

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respectfully,
candisa

Freely we serve, because we freely love, as in our will
To love or not; in this we stand or fall.

(in reply to justme1980)

Post #: 32

RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/23/2009 3:02:47 AM

Zechriel

Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline

Good morning!
For us, spanking for punishment does not serve well. One-it presses my brat button and I am like "oh I get a spanking if it's not perfect...well here goes." Two-Daddy likes it too much and for him punishment is not about fun. My punishments are thing I really hate like cleaning bathtubs or wearing pants or not having soda or chips for a set time. We actually see a very fine and definite line for punishing and anything pleasant or sexual is not involved.

I have had tons of Doms contact me thinking punishment=funishment. And yeah I still see lots of posts to that effect, but if that is your thing.....
Love,
Zechriel

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Post #: 33

RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/25/2009 7:38:00 AM

marysdream

Posts: 126
Joined: 5/31/2008
Status: offline

for me i enjoy spankings..although i know this could be used as punishment...would not be the best choice for me. i think lots of D's are into sensual spankings! it really just depends on their preferences.
ree

(in reply to justme1980)

Post #: 34

RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/25/2009 8:18:08 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Several years ago, there was a dominants munch in our area... PUNISHMENT was one of the first topics! Eeeeh.

I asked the men if they were dealilng with dogs or humans. Yes, this was in realtime. Lots of Goreans too, for whatever that is worth. I don't know any female dominants who have this punishment obsession. If my submissive screws up that badly, I look to MYSELF for the fault as well.

I do want to spank you, though! Just saying.

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[page 23 girl]

(in reply to pixidustpet)

Post #: 35

RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/25/2009 8:34:28 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Above the rest, if she really is willfully disobedient all the time, then the dom isn't in control. He hasn't earned her respect because if he had, she wouldn't be willfully disobedient. People behave for those they respect, they willingly work harder for those than for people they hold in contempt.

So any dom who announces he has to punish constantly because he hasn't ever been in control is someone you want to know about in order to put on the not ever list. Be grateful they've announced their incompetence upfront.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 36

RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/25/2009 12:50:34 PM

MRandme

Posts: 661
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline

i have been told that if i want a spanking, i just need to ask. He is generally happy to oblige. :D

If i forget something or miss something i am to do, i get a few swats. These are obviously NOT the same as good-girl spankings and are not fun. Only once have i done something that was serious enough to deserve a non-corporal punishment. i learned a lesson from it.

my Master does not have to wait for me to do something wrong if the urge to spank or whip comes over Him... though we joke about it often.

peace,

g

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Sweet be your dreams, may your happiness swell,
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Post #: 37

RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/28/2009 2:45:22 PM

maat

Posts: 62
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I think sometimes we atract people in to our life to fill something.

When i was new in to bdsm and yes, it was mostly online at that time. I atracted dominants who whanted to punish me, who whanted to see me fail and who set me up to fail. As time went by i learnt to expect more of myself but also from the Dominant i chosed to serve or interact with. As i grew so did my expectations and i atracted more seriuce Doms who did not what me to fail but whanted me to learn. Not only about what they whanted but what i whanted and needed to grow.

Online there are an abundance of sk Dominants who live out fantasies of bad girls who need a spanking and honestly its nothing wrong with this as long as they understand that it is a fantasy and dont try to take this in to a RT relationship.

As a new submissive i didnt know enough to value myself but having said that with time came growth and now i know my first responcibility is to take care of myself or if i am ownd or in a relationship to take care of my Masters property, me.

My former master only had to punish me a handfull of times and most of the time it was for my own sake. I needed the cane to be able to let go of the situation and to be able to be forgiven. It was not fun, it was not sensual and i hated every moment of it but after i was thankfull that my Master cared enough for me to do it becuse i know he hated it just as much as i did.

To me, a master who sets his submissive up to fail is not a master.

(in reply to MRandme)

Post #: 38

RE: So you want to spank me? - 6/28/2009 4:17:21 PM

Rhembein

Posts: 136
Joined: 6/8/2009
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

1. Punishment involves various things. Spanking may be one of them. Or it might not be.

2. Spankings are administered for various reasons, one of which is simply that a lot of us Doms plain like to spank.

3, If a Dom is making excuses to spank as punishment, by creating spankable offenses, then he or she is playing games. Fine if it's understood as such, not fine otherwise.

Steven to the rescue yet again! :)

For me (and for others I'm sure) spanking is not necessarily a punishment. A punishment for me would be if He would NOT spank me. All subs respond differently to different forms of punishment. Pain punishment doesn't work for me... at least not that I've found anyway.

Simply, being sadistic and being a Dominant are not always one in the same. Some Doms are more sadistic while others are not. Same goes with slaves.

_____________________________

This one is bound to love, serve, and obey.

Holding on and letting go, she just keeps giving in. No matter what He needs, her answer is always yes. He only has to dream and she does the rest.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 39

RE: So you want to spank me? - 7/4/2009 6:03:45 AM

Manawyddan

Posts: 701
Joined: 1/2/2005
From: Petaluma (Northern California)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

...thoughts??

what you describe certainly hasn't been the case from this slave's perspective. almost ALL of the dominant folk she has been around over the years don't pine for opportunities to administer corporal punishment. it has been this slave's experience that punishment isn't fun for them. it represents a failure on their part...just as much, if not more as a failure on their submissive's part.
sadists, on the other hand...of the dominant, submissive or undeclared variety, quite often get a thrill from blistering a bottom. however, this slave hasn't had enough personal experience with sadists to even begin to generalize about their motivations aside from they just like it/lurrrve it when others are uncomfortable or in pain.

I am a sadist and a dominant. If I wish to hurt a girl, I will for the sheer pleasure of it. I detest punishment; I prefer my girl be devoted and completely obedient.

Consequently, the actual actions and degree of pain involved in corporal punishment ate the same as they are in my simple expressions of sadism ... the emotional significance, however, is very different. The first expresses passion, the second, disappointment and disapproval.

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(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 40

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