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RE: Taken in hand - 6/26/2009 8:36:56 AM

porcelaine

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my understanding of taken in hand differs from what's been stated here. while they may implement various behaviors that can be associated with bdsm, they are clear in their understanding of what that implies and their desire not to acknowledge themselves in this manner. why do we always need to correct people and inform them what they are or aren't doing? i'm continually amazed at times about the things i read here.

on the one hand you have those that scream it is just closet kink and they are giving a bad name to the lifestyle when people embrace bedroom styled bdsm. now you have a group that has their own ideology and set of behaviors that they have clearly stated is not bdsm and we're saying they're in denial? i'm baffled at how one is able to ascertain this insight. is there a hidden camera lurking somewhere that i'm clueless about?

since i do frequent the site and have been there a number of years i would surmise you're incorrect. they like what they like and utilize a form of adherence and domestic discipline that adds to their relationship in a manner that works for them. it isn't for me to say they are confused about anything. its their life and if they don't wish to be part of the lifestyle so be it. must we analyze everything and put everyone in a neat little container with the applicable label affixed? good grief.

porcelaine

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RE: Taken in hand - 6/26/2009 12:34:15 PM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I am trying to start a website called 'Taken in mouth".

It's for the girls, don't you know.

To trade recipies and what not

You must have a rather unique definition of "what not"

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RE: Taken in hand - 6/26/2009 3:45:26 PM

DesFIP

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Porcelaine, nobody objects to them liking what they like. It's the dichotomy between what they say and what they do. They claim to hate being spanked yet are running to him the moment he comes in to say they overcooked the chicken or couldn't get to the dry cleaner in time and need to be spanked immediately. And the way they talk about the spankings makes it clear that they do find them erotic.

There's nothing wrong in liking it, there is something wrong in lying to yourself so you can enjoy it without admitting that you enjoy it. Denial is never a good thing.

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RE: Taken in hand - 6/26/2009 6:18:25 PM

Firebirdseeking

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TIH is where I first learned about D/s. I knew about BDSM, but thought it was for weird people with whips and chain...hmmm...... I do remember thinking it was weird that so many women seemed to need and want "domestic discipline"; how could they all be so "bad" or "disobedient"?

The real value of that site for me was Yaldah Tovah's article, "The Healthy Submissive" which I found through that site - and then I understood. TIH did help me understand that I wanted a male led relationship. I am very grateful to the site for that.

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RE: Taken in hand - 6/26/2009 6:42:23 PM

Notsweet

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I was thinking the same thing. You put into words what I couldn't quite. :) Thanks.

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RE: Taken in hand - 6/26/2009 8:29:25 PM

sweetsub1957

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I realize that a lot of people might identify with that Taken in Hand stuff, and it's not for me to judge them. But for me, when I read the bit about Bonded by Rape, as a former rape victim turned survivor, I had to say "Horse shit!!!! What the hell is this!?!?"' Just my opinion.

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RE: Taken in hand - 6/28/2009 8:40:40 AM

allisonludwig

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At first, I found the site intriguing and a little hot, but as I read more, the page on other ways the male can can exert control disturbed me. The author explains that the man can corner his wife, pound on the wall to scare her but not terrify her so that she wants to run for her life.

and then there is abuse by intimidation, where a partner will break things, pound on walls, not let him or her leave, etc. and the difference here? I find it downright creepy. It scares me to think that men and women read this stuff. I looked around the site quite a bit, too. It seems like the perfect site that male abusers can use to support their abusive behavior towards their female partners.

I agree with others, that they should just say what it is. It would be a whole helluva lot safer that way.

Allison
p.s. I do realize the OP brought up different questions.

< Message edited by allisonludwig -- 6/28/2009 8:41:37 AM >

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Post #: 27