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RE: How do you handle? - 6/27/2009 1:25:55 PM

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this might sound selfish on my part but u are alive and well and will and are doing the things that u want to do

now here is the kicker u could be like me and the circumstances that i am in and i do not look for pity from anyone i am just stating the things which are happening in my life

first and foremost there are some on this site know about my health situation

i live each day one at a time and do what i can to bring some form of enjoyment into anothers

i am on the national transplant list for a double lung transplant and as of yet possibly a heart transplant as well

i am waiting for two very important phone calls left in my life

the first is from the tansplant team to come see them and have tests done and get to know them and then have this info sent to the national transplant data bank so when someone dies if all things match and they have good lungs then they will send them to the hospital where the transplant will take place which is the va hospital in madison wisconsin

and the second call is telling me to get my fannie into the hospital asap because the have a good set of lungs

now if one thinks about this what takes place is i have to wait for someone to die before i can get a set of lungs to be transplanted to inside of me and then my body has to not reject them

also during the transplant procedure which takes about 8-12 hours i will virtually be dead and in suspende animation and a machine will do the breathing for me

so it might be that i am mean and selfish and want pity from people which is not what i want

i do however want everyone to be thankful for what they have and the ability to have a choice to go out and do things that individuals like me cant do it and also their health because when one does not have their health then they are limited to doing certain things

i believe u will come out very good in all of this and surprise urself with what u accomplish and i applaud u very much on what u r about to do with ur life

i have sarcoidosis it does not have me
i will kick its ass
i refuse to lose
thomas michael kappler

(in reply to ACryFromTheSoul)

RE: How do you handle? - 6/27/2009 1:31:15 PM

ACryFromTheSoul

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chuckling, between your suggestion and Michael's it seems that I am going to have to find myself a image/inner voice that can push me forward/help me get my tail in gear.

Also, congrats on being able to not only push yourself, but to accomplish your goals for the semester. I know how hard it is to get yourself motivated (which is part of the reason for this thread). So I am glad you were able to come out on top the way you have.

Hugs.

(in reply to LilMichele)

RE: How do you handle? - 6/27/2009 1:39:49 PM

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FR
Since you are willing to pay for everything re: your cat, maybe you could contact a no-kill shelter and see if they might be able to hook you up with someone who could foster him?

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RE: How do you handle? - 6/27/2009 1:44:22 PM

ACryFromTheSoul

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my first reaction to your post was oh my god, and the second was oh sh**.

Thank you. You post made me tear up, and what I want most right now is give you a big hug for both what you are going through and for taking the time and effort to sharing what you did. That was very heart felt response and wonderfully said.

And, in regards to my second reaction ie "oh sh**". Thank you for putting things in perspective . I am complaining about something that is minor (and while it feels major at the moment) it doesn't compare in any way to the bigger picture. And the fact that I have the ability to complain about it going back to school, is something that a lot of people don't get the chance even do.

So thank you, again for your wonderful post. And you gave me a lot of food for thought

< Message edited by ACryFromTheSoul -- 6/27/2009 2:10:47 PM >

(in reply to snappykappy)

RE: How do you handle? - 6/27/2009 1:47:52 PM

ACryFromTheSoul

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good suggestion... it is actually something that I have already been looking into. A lot of the places want to keep him in a room without people (which would kill him as he is quite social) or place him in a house with *lots* of other animals and I am not so sure that is the best for him either, as he has never been around other animals.

I am still looking into it, and hopefully something will turn up.

Thank you for the suggestion, and if you can think of any else please let me know.
Hugs.

< Message edited by ACryFromTheSoul -- 6/27/2009 2:14:32 PM >

(in reply to angelikaJ)

RE: How do you handle? - 6/27/2009 2:07:41 PM

ACryFromTheSoul

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my parents would not think highly on taking back control, if anything they would be very against it. But it is a good suggestion, that hopefully can help another. Hugs.

In regards to the cell phone planner, my current phone does not have those capabilities but I am planning on getting new phone in the next week, so I will keep that in mind when I pick one out.

Thank you for your suggestions.
Hugs.

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: How do you handle? - 6/27/2009 2:41:03 PM

ACryFromTheSoul

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Thank you for taking the time to share what you have/and are going through. It means a lot to me that you have done so.

Also thank you for the support, "You will handle life as well and get your degree. If the desire is so strong we can move mountains hun" I love this line.

hugs.

(in reply to oceanwinds)

RE: How do you handle? - 6/27/2009 3:07:05 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ACryFromTheSoul

Thank you for taking the time to share what you have/and are going through. It means a lot to me that you have done so.

Also thank you for the support, "You will handle life as well and get your degree. If the desire is so strong we can move mountains hun" I love this line.

hugs.

You are more then welcome. You are free to cmail me anytime.

I noticed you have trouble crying. May I suggest watching a sad movie by yourself? I had to retrain myself to cry. After my brother's death, I stopped crying that was at 19. Sad movies and those Hallmark commericals though helped me to cry. Now I cry easily and gosh it is so good:). Liken to taking bricks off my shoulders and the heaviness is gone.

gentle hugs and YOU GO GIRL!!

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RE: How do you handle? - 6/27/2009 4:11:08 PM

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From: Pyroaquatica
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Small stones build great mountains. To climb these great mountains... well. Good Luck.
It is excellent to hear that you are on a Way to success... especially since you are in the medical field.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I told myself those things using a woman's voice I found both hot and soothing. It helped a lot. Through hard and intense work, I ended up with a B average in the hardest classes I have ever taken. You are a strong and dynamic woman and you CAN do this, you have friends you CAN lean on for a bit of support, and if you have to, channel someone's voice that resonates with you, allow that calm to flow over you. Perhaps it is someone from your past, perhaps it is he who you have yet to meet.

Girl, you CAN and WILL get through this.

I find this very much to be true.

(in reply to ACryFromTheSoul)

RE: How do you handle? - 6/28/2009 6:29:47 AM

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quote:

So my question is how do you handle things, when life becomes overwhelming and you don’t have that calming influence of a dominant in your life?

smoke lots of herb and take lots of naps

(in reply to ACryFromTheSoul)

RE: How do you handle? - 6/28/2009 8:03:18 AM

ACryFromTheSoul

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Thank you for your support. Smiling

Hugs

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

RE: How do you handle? - 6/28/2009 8:33:37 AM

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From: Apple County NY
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Also on every college campus there is a health center including free therapy. You don't get to pick the therapist but it never hurts to go and talk to them. The school wants you to succeed, you aren't the first overwhelmed student they've ever seen. They will give you as much help as they can, just walk in and ask.

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RE: How do you handle? - 6/28/2009 9:02:08 AM

ACryFromTheSoul

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wonderful idea. We are required to have mental health insurance as part of our coverage as well. So if things do start to get overwhelming I might look into going that route.

One of the areas that might help with, is that I am not sure I will be able to get my learning disabilities on file prior to school starting. My high school and college have both destroyed my files, and my mom swears that she gave me all the information years ago(which I can't find). So I am either left with retaking the tests (which could cost me a bundle) or not having my LD's on file and dealing with the consequences.

And while the consequences hopefully shouldn't be too bad as I mainly need it for un-timed testing (if that) it is the stress of knowing that I don't have a fall back in the first few months that could create the biggest problems. ie the more stress I have, the more problems I have with my LD's, which creates more stress, which creates more issues with my LD's. ect.

So long story short (cause I am rambling) that is a great suggestion. Thank you!

Hugs

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: How do you handle? - 6/28/2009 12:07:03 PM

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Kudos on your big plans! Ive been wanting to go back to school myself but keep making up excuses as to why i cant, maybe i should take your lead and just do it. Now as to how i deal, me and my Sir are very far apart but sometimes i catch myself "hearing voices" telling me to get on the ball and get it done. It helps me out when there is something i really dont want to do. As far as the stress bit goes.....girl just let it out! I go to the dollar store and get those cheap glass plates they have and i go out on the back porch and just start breaking them. You would not belive how good it feels. And as silly as this may sound when i get in a tight spot over something i just remember what Dory from Finding Nemo said..."You gotta just keep swimming!" No matter what just keep going. Good Luck in all you do!

(in reply to ACryFromTheSoul)

RE: How do you handle? - 6/28/2009 1:25:15 PM

Aylee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ACryFromTheSoul

wonderful idea. We are required to have mental health insurance as part of our coverage as well. So if things do start to get overwhelming I might look into going that route.

One of the areas that might help with, is that I am not sure I will be able to get my learning disabilities on file prior to school starting. My high school and college have both destroyed my files, and my mom swears that she gave me all the information years ago(which I can't find). So I am either left with retaking the tests (which could cost me a bundle) or not having my LD's on file and dealing with the consequences.

And while the consequences hopefully shouldn't be too bad as I mainly need it for un-timed testing (if that) it is the stress of knowing that I don't have a fall back in the first few months that could create the biggest problems. ie the more stress I have, the more problems I have with my LD's, which creates more stress, which creates more issues with my LD's. ect.

So long story short (cause I am rambling) that is a great suggestion. Thank you!

Hugs

There will be a students with disabilities office at your college, whichever one it is. On Monday, call the college operator and ask to be transfered to them, and talk to them. Or you may be able to look their number up directly online if you go to the college's website.

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(in reply to ACryFromTheSoul)

RE: How do you handle? - 6/28/2009 1:45:57 PM

RLMK

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Your college may offer free testing for LDs.

You might consider skeet shooting (using a shotgun to break flying clay dishes) You get to break things, and make noise -- it also gives you something else to think about. Find something which you can focus on, my mind needs an occasional break -- these days training is relaxing, back in the old days, it was the focus of my life.

The most powerful meditative technique I ever used was to either sit in a dark, quiet room, or listen to classical music in a dark room, while focusing on a small red light. I used a blinking red light to trigger my competition mind. If you can find an adjustable one, and set it to a rate at your heart rate, or at what you'd like your heart rate to be, and then focus on tuning your pulse to the flashes, you can get deeply "gone". (Have someone come to check on you -- time can go pretty fast, and you body can get awfully stiff.)

I'd avoid the "drink it away" method. I spent a couple months drinking heavily, until I realized I drank heavily so I wouldn't be bored stiff by the people I associated with -- it was cheaper to change friends.

If things get really bad, learn to construct a "palace in the mind". Essentially, you visualize an idyllic place, and fill in all the details carefully, and fully w.in your mind. It's a very powerful technique, but it tends to impair your ability to function. Too hard to jump between it and the real world. Number games used to work for me in the short term. (I require a high level of stimulation, and I don't fight stress as much as I do boredom.)

< Message edited by RLMK -- 6/28/2009 1:48:17 PM >

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RE: How do you handle? - 6/28/2009 4:17:51 PM

ACryFromTheSoul

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Hugs. Sometimes you need a trigger to push you to step out of your comfort zone. In my particular case it was company politics. I decided that while there would always be politics I wanted to be in a job that enjoyed rather then a job that I hated if I was going to deal with so much bs.

Take little steps like I did, pick a general area that you find interesting and take one class during the fall at a community college. See if you enjoy it, see if you are motivated to study, does the subject interest you, does it inspire you, do you want to learn more? Community college depending on the area are usually a few hundred dollars and you can usually get used books online to reduce the cost. And while money is tight for everyone, the worst thing that could happen is you find out eh, this subject looked great on paper but it isn't for you. But you could also be real proud of yourself that you motivated yourself to move forward and try something new.. and heck you could find out that you I love the subject the way I did.

When I decided to go back, it was let me take a class.. see if I even like the field and I did the exact scenario above. I signed up for a Anatomy and Physiology class over the summer, a super fast 8 week program. With the whole purpose behind it that I would either love the subject and work my tail off or I would hate it and fail. But heck I would find out really quickly if the area was one that I liked or hated thus reducing the amount of time and effort I could have put in going in the wrong direction.

Also you don't have to pick an exact direction when you take a class (I had an idea but I didn't end up in the exact field I thought I would) just pick a direction, take a class and see how you feel about it. Then if you like the class(es) then start looking into the exact direction that you want to go into.

...
getting back to your comments.. smile.
Your comment about Dory amused me/and you made your point well. While I can't break the dishes on the porch, I might look to break them in the kitchen.. and boy would I love to throw a few things right now...

Hugs

(in reply to brandi1379)

RE: How do you handle? - 6/28/2009 4:25:12 PM

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Therapy, baby. I can totally relate to your post. (I'm a full time nurse practitioner student and single parent). And most people would be hella stressed. You're facing a lot of major stressors (moving, "new job", ie school, loss of friends and your kitty, plus school is just stressful.)

I, too, am *awful* at providing my own internal structure. And I definitely benefit from having my partner in my life, holding me to goals I've set, helping me to calm down... But before I had him, I saw a therapist, and it was the best thing I ever did for myself.

My therapist helped me learn to identify when irrational thinking was causing my anxiety level to escalate...helped me break down tasks into smaller pieces that looked more reasonable to me, taught me relaxation techniques, how to be my own cheerleader by focusing on my strengths and prior successes...

Those skills are still really helpful, and I think it's good to learn how to stand on your own two feet, rather than lean on your partner. For sure, I'm having an easier time of it, because my partner is around, but while I'm glad I don't have to, I know I could do this without him too. Incidentally, being more self sufficient has changed (improved?) my relationship focus. I'm less needy now and tend to focus more on how I can serve and please him than on needing him to contain my stress.

What area of healthcare are you thinking, by the way? I'm a registered nurse at present. (Lots of kinky people in healthcare, by the way...)

(in reply to ACryFromTheSoul)

RE: How do you handle? - 6/28/2009 4:27:47 PM

ACryFromTheSoul

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I have contacted them, they are the ones that are requiring my test scores. sigh.

But if I contact them again, maybe just maybe they will have another way in which they can suggest to get my LD's on file other then taking the tests over again. So thank you for the suggestion it is what I need(ed) to get my butt back in gear and try to tackle the issue again.

Hugs.

(in reply to Aylee)

RE: How do you handle? - 6/28/2009 4:54:40 PM

dreamerdreaming

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How did I handle it?

I became the Domme.

Then I had all the stress of that, of course. But it feels much more comfy.

When I was slave, I loved it. It was wonderful, and felt right. For most of my life.

Then a few years ago when I made the change to this side of the slash, it felt right. Like if you've been struggling to write (or shoot, or whatever) with one hand, and then you switch the implement over to the other side and suddenly everything falls into place and feels perfectly natural...

Well okay maybe the above is specific to me, but you did ask.

My advice:

1.) For your learning disabilities: get a tutor, spend extra time studying, and keep doing whatever else has worked for you, to get you this far. Whatever you've been doing has worked. Now you just need to ramp it up. Keep your momentum, however you can. You'll do fine. Just do your best, and relax. Everything will be fine.

2.) Tell yourself whatever affirmations work for you, in place of your doubtful or fearful thoughts. "I can do this!" "I'm all over this!" "I do NOT hafta be perfect!" "I deserve the good things that come my way!" "My life is a grand adventure!"
Or whatever, you get the idea.

2.) Do your best to stay as close as you can to your cat. Can someone near your new locale take care of him for you so you can still spend time with him?

< Message edited by dreamerdreaming -- 6/28/2009 4:58:13 PM >

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(in reply to ACryFromTheSoul)

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