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Perenti -> Winning Her Over (2/14/2006 8:07:18 PM)
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I'm in a casual, even part-time relationship with a submissive woman. My experiences in the BDSM world are from a brief flirtation with it more that thirty years ago, through knowing a married couple who were involved in the life. In between that time and the present, I was in a competely vanilla marriage and it seems any, if not all, of the feelings, even instincts that I may have had for BDSM have been eroded away in my memory.
My problem is that I have very strong feelings for the sub I am seeing, however, I know my lack of ability as a Dom is going to hamper any advancement in our relationship. I know she is actively seeking a Dom or Master and has been for several years, and while she has told me her feelings for me are growing stronger all the time, I know that if I don't "lift my game", I'm going to lose her to someone with more experience and ability than I have.
The only thing that is a positive about all of this is the fact we have both been very honest and open about our feelings and hopes and knowing how she feels has given me enough hope to make a definite effort to win her for my own. The biggest problem I have is about twenty years of vanilla type behaviour and thinking and all the big and little restrictions and obstacles that this mindset brings with it. In short, I need some solid advice from some Doms and Masters out there, to help me get over this problem and win the heart, mind, spirit and body of this sweet little sub. Can you help?
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