RE: Your new, now what? ~ a public service post ~

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Your new, now what? ~ a public service post ~

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RE: Your new, now what? ~ a public service post ~ - 2/16/2006 12:07:29 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

One piece of advice....be true to yourself.

(in reply to DragonNphoenix)

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Post #: 21

RE: Your new, now what? ~ a public service post ~ - 2/16/2006 12:16:47 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

If you could tell a new submissive one thing, no matter how mundane that might save them from a mistake or heartache, what would that be?

Not one - how about a few...
1. Every piece of advise you hear or read is wrong, and at the same time; every piece of advise you hear or read is correct. Perspective, timing, definitions are too individual and too unique to be "universal". Listen for experiences, try to witness and discuss as much as possible, but don't prejudice your goals by assimilating anyone's style or relationship as yours.

2. The heart and/or genital area should NOT be source of defining what is good for you.

3. Loneliness isn't always "cured" by adding a person to your life.

4. No one can TELL you how it feels to be hit with a cane, single-tail, flogger, etc.

5. Challenge whatever you belief as absolute truth as often as possible. Confidence is essential, and can not be obtained by reading research or chatting exclusively with others who only agree with you.

MOST IMPORTANT....
HAVE FUN!

(in reply to Quivver)

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Post #: 22

RE: Your new, now what? ~ a public service post ~ - 2/16/2006 12:26:10 PM

allyC

Posts: 778
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

If you could tell a new submissive one thing, no matter how mundane that might save them from a mistake or heartache, what would that be?

If I had to narrow it down to one thing it would be this:

If you are seeking something permanent or at least looking to enter a relationship with some longevity, having the "D/s" thing in common isn't enough by itself.

I have seen many, many relationships fail because the people involved didn't share common principles, ideals, goals, etc. They jumped in, feet first, because they figured.. "Well, since I'm submissive and he's dominant, this will be a perfect fit!" (or vice versa)

The reality is that while those two things are ultimately what we seek, there is so much more that goes into the equation. So my advice? If you want it to last, take your time and make sure that you are compatable before taking the plunge.

(in reply to Quivver)

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Post #: 23

RE: Your new, now what? ~ a public service post ~ - 2/16/2006 12:44:34 PM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline

Thank you all!

I am new to this lifestyle and I have gotten such wonderful information from this thread and so many others since coming to CollarMe.

LA, I'm one of those that appreciates you posting links to relative topics in a thread. I often read them and like seeing as many views as I can on some topics.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to allyC)

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Post #: 24

RE: Your new, now what? ~ a public service post ~ - 2/16/2006 7:29:24 PM

caitlyn

Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline

Coming from a new person that somehow feels a lot less new that I did about a week ago ...

Don't be arrogant and assume you know more than you really do. You have no experience with something, until you have experienced it.

(in reply to Quivver)

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Post #: 25