Doctors and Judgement... (Full Version)

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Iamsubfkme -> Doctors and Judgement... (7/4/2009 4:49:36 PM)


So, lets say that hypothetically something goes wrong but its not life threatening, should I still go to the doctor?

Or, if something happens as a result a few days latter?

Or lasting repercussions?


I ask this because while I'm sure Doctors have seen it all, I'm not sure if its better to come up with a creative back story as to how the injury occurred..

…rather than just say. "well there was this girl and I.. and we tried _____, and now ___ hurts right here, when I ___."

Are Doctors understanding? I know their not paid to be judgmental, but that’s got to be awkward..



LilKittenSub -> RE: Doctors and Judgement... (7/4/2009 4:53:47 PM)

From my experience, doctors wont ask how something happened to you unless they need background to figure out how you got hurt in order to help you, or they are worried you're being abused. It can be a little awkward, but remember your health should always come first! If you're worried and think you might need a doctor, go!



DesFIP -> RE: Doctors and Judgement... (7/4/2009 4:56:19 PM)

They've seen it all. Seriously. They've all had rotation in the ER where guys come in with light bulbs stuck up their ass. They've had guys come in with steel cock rings on that can't be gotten off and have had to cut the skin off the penis to get the ring off before reattaching the skin. They've repaired everything you can think of and then some. Nothing will shock them.

Just say you were having rough, vigorous sex and now this hurts.

Beyond all that, they need to know so that if you walk in with a black eye they don't feel obligated to report you as a victim of abuse. You don't want your partner going to jail because you didn't speak up.



Iamsubfkme -> RE: Doctors and Judgement... (7/4/2009 5:01:29 PM)

Hmn.. so what I'm getting is that my doctor is the one person I shouldn't lie to, and that very little will surprize them?



LilKittenSub -> RE: Doctors and Judgement... (7/4/2009 5:08:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsubfkme

Hmn.. so what I'm getting is that my doctor is the one person I shouldn't lie to, and that very little will surprize them?


Exactly!



Iamsubfkme -> RE: Doctors and Judgement... (7/4/2009 5:10:21 PM)

ok. ^^ Can I ask them to leave exact details out of my file? Or should I just be caurefull how I fraze it?



kiwisub12 -> RE: Doctors and Judgement... (7/4/2009 5:37:15 PM)

They don't want details - they want a rough idea of what happened so they can determine the mechanism of injury, and treat it appropriately. They aren't into long-winded explainations - after all, time is money!

and you pay them. If they do decide to judge you,, then they should be professional enough to keep that  opinion to themselves - and if they don't, call them on it! You don't have to put up with crap from the fellow who fixes your roof, why should you from the fellow who fixes your hemmorhoids!  After all, you PAY them! You are paying for a bit of common courtesy as well as a treatment that will hopefully help.



LilKittenSub -> RE: Doctors and Judgement... (7/4/2009 5:40:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsubfkme

ok. ^^ Can I ask them to leave exact details out of my file? Or should I just be caurefull how I fraze it?


It's rare they will want or even ask for details. Knowing enough to just know what happened and how is often more than enough for them. From what I found from the doctors I dealt with, they were all very calm and very receptive and don't judge because of how much they have seen and done. Most doctors are largely desensitized by their line of work... very little shocks them once they have some experience under their belt.



SavageFaerie -> RE: Doctors and Judgement... (7/4/2009 6:00:57 PM)

I just went through this.

Initial visit to a dr looking for a primary.

She was do the push on the tummy thing and I had a bruise from Mr Chewy aka BlackPhx.
She asked me why I had bruises I fumbled and said lets just say rough sex that was concentual.
She had already judged me just by my medications and thought they might be injections sites.

When she moved to a quick breast exam which also had bruises she didnt ask again.

I had to word it carefully because poen is also her patient so I didnt think that "Well its like this poen and her husband like to do things that will cause lots of  bruises and I love it."  I have no problem outing myself, but someone else no way.

So I did fudge a little.



sweetsub1957 -> RE: Doctors and Judgement... (7/4/2009 6:59:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilKittenSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsubfkme

Hmn.. so what I'm getting is that my doctor is the one person I shouldn't lie to, and that very little will surprize them?


Exactly!


On the other hand, when I went to my nurse practitioner, I asked her about something not at all out of the ordinary and she just snap-judged and never did answer my question.  So no matter what anyone says, be prepared for possible judgmentalism.  Some are, some aren't.  Don't be dishonest, but don't give any more details than absolutely necessary either.



windchymes -> RE: Doctors and Judgement... (7/4/2009 7:01:29 PM)

Doctors and nurses are some of the kinkiest people out there.  They'd probably shock YOU, lol. 

They've done it, they've seen it all, they've heard it all.  You don't have to say any more than "sex got a little rough, we got a little drunk", something like that.  They understand.  Just answer the questions they ask you and nothing more.

BTW, if you're talking about how your penis "broke", that's actually a very common condition.....I know of an ER doc it happened to!  



DavanKael -> RE: Doctors and Judgement... (7/4/2009 10:18:10 PM)

Just as with any service provider, I am all for being an active, informed consumer. 
I love my current gyn.  We talk about journal articles and European treatments versus American treatments, relational issues (Yes, I've shared with her having been in poly- relationships, etc.), and she's non-judgmental, interested, and professional.  She is super fantastic!  :> 
That having been said, not all are.  I had a gyn a number of years ago to whom I said, "I need to be able to speak freely with you about the fact that my husband and I are sometimes non-monogamous".  The look of disgust on her face was ever-so rage-inducing.  No more trips to her. 
Had a general practitioner who knew I was in a relationship with 2 men, I was having a birth control issue, and she actually had the gall to ask if I'ds considered abstainence.  I did not see her again and when my sis (Whose GP she still is) asked her several years later if she said that she said, "Oh, I must have been pissed at my husband!".  Unprofessional! 
Ah, and my favorite: the guy who discovered I have a perforated septum and stuck a wooden-handled q-tip through my nose while demanding to know what kind of drugs I snorted.  I told him that he doesn't know me but that I don't snort drugs but if I did, I'd proudly tell him so.  On my return visit (Had to go back for audiology results), I had a list in my hand of causes of sepral perforations and lectured him on his assumption to the vast amusement of a hot intern who was in the room at the time. 
Oh, and I started seeing a counselor when I got separated because I wasn't sure how I would react to a 17 year relationship going away but in taking on the bills of 15 years of marriage, I needed to 'control the roll' if there was one.  So, I put my cards on the table about various things and she educated herself about both poly- and bdsm to be able to better meet me where I am and to be of assistance.  She's great!  :> 
If one practitioner is not what you need, see another: as with anything else, some are better than others. 
Best wishes,
  Davan



DesFIP -> RE: Doctors and Judgement... (7/7/2009 1:59:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael
Ah, and my favorite: the guy who discovered I have a perforated septum and stuck a wooden-handled q-tip through my nose while demanding to know what kind of drugs I snorted.  I told him that he doesn't know me but that I don't snort drugs but if I did, I'd proudly tell him so.  On my return visit (Had to go back for audiology results), I had a list in my hand of causes of sepral perforations and lectured him on his assumption to the vast amusement of a hot intern who was in the room at the time. 


My response to that question was to list the two separate times I had tried it over 30 years prior and follow that up with a list of the women with sinus issues in my family over the last three generations.

I find having a family history ready to reel off at a moment's notice makes any medical practitioner respect you.



califsue -> RE: Doctors and Judgement... (7/7/2009 5:59:09 PM)

I will share a funny somewhat. The Dom watching over me wanted me to see my Doc and ask a couple questions because when
we do rope bondage I lose circulation quickly and he is concerned. I went to see my doctor who is also the primary for my 80+ yr
old parents who I accompany to appointments because of their short term memory loss and health issues. I told the doctor that
I participate in 'Adult Alternative Pleasure Activities' and that a question had come up because my hands and feet turn blue relatively
quickly with a certain activity. Then he asked what was the activity and I gave him the answer. Then he said "WHY" and I thought what
am I going to tell him. Then he said 'Nevermind'. LOL....
 
So..while doctors may have seen/heard it all..I think if there is any kind of history with the person it may strike them as odd.
 



ShellyD -> RE: Doctors and Judgement... (7/8/2009 2:37:30 AM)

Speaking as a professional, honesty is the best policy, as well as timely presentation for care. I once had a man who had a deodorant can in his colon. He unfortunately waited 3 days because of embarrassment and this resulted in massive pain/discomfort and surgical involvement. It was actually the only time I ever saw the particular surgeon (who was an arrogant and rude bastard) be nice, caring and civilised to the man.

Another time we had a young guy come in with a vibrator insitu....after surgery he returned and the only question staff asked was 'was it still going?' lol, it was. There are individuals who are not open minded but they are a rarity and if you are ever treated badly, ask to see the 'in-charge' person and make a complaint. Everyone deserves respect, on both sides of the coin....



Mistress4Gurls -> RE: Doctors and Judgement... (7/8/2009 8:52:02 PM)

One more point to remember, there are many RNs and Docs who are into BDSM as well. You never know what we wear on our days off



ChasingOblivion -> RE: Doctors and Judgement... (7/8/2009 9:51:25 PM)

If  you're really worried about your regular doctor seeing your war wounds, then just go to your local ER.
Be sure to pick either a university, public, or other form of "teaching" hospital. That's where the people with no insurance go, and consequently, that also tends to be where they see the REALLY interesting stuff. As long as you tell them you're not being abused, they're not going to ask for a lot of specifics beyond what they need to treat you. They see so many patients on any given day that they really couldn't care less what you're into. There is no better place to go for anonymity.
However, the ER at most private hospitals is a royal nightmare. Nosy bastards.
I suppose it doesn't help that they're all Catholic (or other conservative religious) hospitals round here.



sirsholly -> RE: Doctors and Judgement... (7/9/2009 4:13:46 AM)

quote:

Doctors and nurses are some of the kinkiest people out there.
yep [:)]



sirsholly -> RE: Doctors and Judgement... (7/9/2009 4:15:37 AM)

quote:

I ask this because while I'm sure Doctors have seen it all, I'm not sure if its better to come up with a creative back story as to how the injury occurred..
if asked, i just say it was consensual rough sex



SavageFaerie -> RE: Doctors and Judgement... (7/9/2009 6:01:49 AM)

I just said I had a boyfriend that is a biter and that I also enoyed it, since there were light bruises on my breast when I got a mamogram. She didnt blink an eye.

It was harder with the primary since there were some bruises around my tummy, I told her its nothing to worry about just concentual rough sex.........I groaned at the reason she asked....to see if I was an iv drug user, which I feel she has already labeled me.  Yes Im not comfortable with her so Im going to try and find a dr that doesnt prejudge.....yeah right thats not going to be easy.



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