MMagic
Posts: 183
Joined: 2/9/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lally2
yes. and it gets a bit 'tired' when submissives are questioned on their motives for requesting CP.
CP has many beneficial elements to it,( if you are a person who feels they would benefit from it that is.) and i dont think its wrong to ask youre Dominant for something like this and i dont feel its topping from the bottom either, for what its worth.
i do see how this could become a very negative thing tho - you have requested help in losing weight, which in of itself can be a hard thing to achieve.
to be punished for a gain or no loss when it might just be that youre wieght loss has plateaud or youre premenstrual or yes, heaven forbid, you eat a little too much cake yesterday then to be beaten may be a catharsis for you - but for youre Daddy i can see how that might feel 'wrong' to him.
in other words, if he is refusing you CP because it would feel wrong to him then that is his stance and thats that. but if he is refusing you CP because he thinks youre topping from the bottom or that youre trying to get some funishment, then his reasoning is possibly flawed and he should maybe be more open to discusssing this.
for a submissive to feel catharsis through a failed effort is sometimes, not always, but sometimes a way of reaching her on a deeper subconcious level and if you feel that is how it is for you, then i dont see anything wrong in him at least giving it a whirl. but only if he can appreciate how this is for you and he isnt on some level of his own, deeply uncomfortable with the idea.
Wow,
Ironically I had this happen in another unreleated situation. I'm still learning BUT having so many friends that are teachers, I came to this from a different perspective than "Topping from the bottom". Everyone learns differently and if you're lucky enough to figure out WHAT helps you learn things I don't see the harm at all in sharing that with someone. For instance I sucked at Math all through school but when taught by the proper teacher once I got to college who worked with me and even suggested something as small as try writing my math with my right hand instead of my left, I began Ace-ing math.
I can see both sides of the fence, but it should be taken into account that said sub may KNOW that his technique will not work with her. Just as I know if you put some cookies in front of me and simply say don't eat those, I'm still gonna steal one. Now threaten me with something I truly feel punished by such oh say..telling me I can't watch Top Model, I'd dare not touch a single cookie. But the Dom wouldn't know this unless He/She was told this about their sub. It's just another form of opening up and sharing with your Dominant. At least that's the way I see it. I think it becomes topping when the Sub says I'm not going to do what you've asked, because I've already told you it won't work, so do it MY way. She's obviously going to follow his orders but it doesn't hurt to share what may make it less frustrating for the Dom too. I think we ALL tend to forget our Doms are human too and it can be frustrating to try to figure out what's going to make the light come on for the other person. Because I said so doesn't always do the job. Sure we'll follow the orders but esepcially for me, I always say to Sir, I follow much better when I just know the direction we're going. Not the destination, but just the direction. I'll go where you go, just point me in the right direction. Hope that makes sense.
Good luck with your weight loss, I suggest a Wii...but then again I'm a game junkie so what do I know? lol.
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Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. -Mae West
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