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TPE possible - 7/12/2009 9:05:24 AM   
justme1980


Posts: 169
Joined: 6/20/2009
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For those of you who are couples Are there power control issues that you have been involved with or have heard of?
like you both wake up and want to be the Dom?
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RE: TPE possible - 7/12/2009 10:01:21 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
I've worked with dual-switch couples who just switched at will, and it worked for them... but there was a lot of negotiation, and occasional tension while dynamics changes got worked out. The thing is, what works in one household may not work for another. If those who switched in our household could switch "at will", it would be chaos, so for those who 'switch' in our family, we handle this by establishing a particular dynamic between individuals for a long-term, "negotiable-over-time-and-process" basis... one is in 'X' dynamic with this person, and "Y" dynamic with this person -- both roles are expressed, but the dynamic between individuals isn't subject to revision without negotiation.

As an example, our Chatelaine would be submissive to the free members of the House, but would be dominant to the remaining servants. For us, this assures that our servants with good leadership skills and the interest and capacity to 'switch' have the opportunity to express those skills and interests, while still enabling the household to maintain its internal integrity.

Additionally, sometimes we have someone who is interested in earning hir crop to become a dominant free member of the household, and xhe would eventually work hir way up through the ranks from servant to trainer to Head Butler/Chatelaine, and would cross over to Keeper, but it is a process, and not a flip-flop... xhe couldn't wake up one morning and say "I don't want to do this any more, just make me a dominant member" and be able to stay in our household.


Dame Calla

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to justme1980)
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RE: TPE possible - 7/12/2009 10:49:33 AM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
First of all, I don't know of terribly many switches that do switch within the same relationship on a fluid basis. It is possible and it does happen, but the chemistry and intuitive knowledge of each has to be there and it is VERY hard to find (at least for me). I have been party to a switch mid scene even, when it became abundantly clear that either the bottom party NEEDED to top or the top party NEEDED to submit. I have found there to be less issue when the bottom is coming up because the current top orders it. What does get into a power struggle is when the bottom is coming up because a sense of the current top's needs becomes apparent to the bottom, but not to the top. That shift can be harsh and even border or straight up violence. The problem is, the bottom is not serving well if he/she sees a need and leaves it unmet. Now is set up the need to topple the current dominant. That person likely will not go down without a fight of some kind. The outcome, however, is great satisfaction for both.

Again, this is something that I don't know occurs all that often because of the clearly high levels of sensitivies and understandings of the people involved needed. Clearly, if something like this were to happen and the situation was misread, it will be devestating. It is a fragile balance.

Another possibility, is that there will be periods of time where one is more dominant for a lengthy amount of time and the other is submissive. This is often related to things like life circumstances, health, etc. Whoever is better ABLE to control will be in control. It is rather straightforward and will not change until such time as the other party is now able to take the reigns from the other for whatever reason. This is somewhat more common in a switch/switch relationship. Most common being that the roles do not change and the parties either have little need for the other side, or meet it casually (play parties, etc) or with another partner. Even more likely is that the switch will enter a relationship with someone who is not a switch and a similar pattern emerges to deal with the switch side.

I am just wondering why so much interest in the dominant side of the interaction. Is it somehow more preferrable to be in the dominant position? Like it is somehow better? More respectful somehow? If it is simply a preference for the dominant side, then perhaps it is that a person is more heavily dominant than submissive. There is neither anything wrong with that nor does it make the person better in some strange way. It just is. Again I will echo the interest of other posters on other threads of yours, what is all the interest and confusion over power struggle and control?

lovingpet

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: TPE possible - 7/12/2009 6:56:23 PM   
justme1980


Posts: 169
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

First of all, I don't know of terribly many switches that do switch within the same relationship on a fluid basis. It is possible and it does happen, but the chemistry and intuitive knowledge of each has to be there and it is VERY hard to find (at least for me). I have been party to a switch mid scene even, when it became abundantly clear that either the bottom party NEEDED to top or the top party NEEDED to submit. I have found there to be less issue when the bottom is coming up because the current top orders it. What does get into a power struggle is when the bottom is coming up because a sense of the current top's needs becomes apparent to the bottom, but not to the top. That shift can be harsh and even border or straight up violence. The problem is, the bottom is not serving well if he/she sees a need and leaves it unmet. Now is set up the need to topple the current dominant. That person likely will not go down without a fight of some kind. The outcome, however, is great satisfaction for both.

Again, this is something that I don't know occurs all that often because of the clearly high levels of sensitivies and understandings of the people involved needed. Clearly, if something like this were to happen and the situation was misread, it will be devestating. It is a fragile balance.

Another possibility, is that there will be periods of time where one is more dominant for a lengthy amount of time and the other is submissive. This is often related to things like life circumstances, health, etc. Whoever is better ABLE to control will be in control. It is rather straightforward and will not change until such time as the other party is now able to take the reigns from the other for whatever reason. This is somewhat more common in a switch/switch relationship. Most common being that the roles do not change and the parties either have little need for the other side, or meet it casually (play parties, etc) or with another partner. Even more likely is that the switch will enter a relationship with someone who is not a switch and a similar pattern emerges to deal with the switch side.

I am just wondering why so much interest in the dominant side of the interaction. Is it somehow more preferrable to be in the dominant position? Like it is somehow better? More respectful somehow? If it is simply a preference for the dominant side, then perhaps it is that a person is more heavily dominant than submissive. There is neither anything wrong with that nor does it make the person better in some strange way. It just is. Again I will echo the interest of other posters on other threads of yours, what is all the interest and confusion over power struggle and control?

lovingpet


To figure out what makes them tick I guess, I never really thought much about it, how they they think and why they think the way they do. Me Dom, no way
they can have it nonononononononono


(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: TPE possible - 7/13/2009 8:28:33 AM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
Hopefully, this gave an insight for you. There are many different kinds of switches and the thinking differs greatly sometimes based on many factors. And you know I had to pick on you just a lil right?

lovingpet

(in reply to justme1980)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: TPE possible - 7/26/2009 6:02:43 PM   
punkishone


Posts: 11
Joined: 1/5/2009
Status: offline
NOPE none of that here, I'm sub he's switch, there have been times I get myself into the mindset, and we play with me on top, I think it's over, and all of a sudden I find myself tied up and on bottom again. sometimes it can be a shock, but never a power struggle, at least yet.

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 6
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