RE: sex and the submissive

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/15/2009 9:27:27 PM

cagliostro

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It depends. But if I leave her, shall we say, free to move about, I like it when she bites and scratches back. The more animalistic the better.

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/16/2009 5:24:50 AM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

Coming from a sub Does one have to be either passive or agressive? I like to think I'm both, depending on him, the mood, what he wants, the situation, etc. I think there are certain times that neither one of us would get any satisfaction if I were not to be "agressive or assertive". But I don't think that undermines or takes away my "submissiveness" at all.

I agree and no, a submissive doesn't need to be passive or aggressive sexually. The question was specifically about the sexual side of things

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/16/2009 5:38:59 AM

allthatjaz

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Thanks for all your replies folks.
The topic seems to of turned more to initiation (the sub instigating the sexual act) and although that is partly the original question, I was hoping to point it more to assertion during the act.
As far as initiating sex all I can say is, I will initiate it if I want it because I know I can and to date I have never been rejected but I would hate to have to be the one to initiate it all the time.
I think the assertion during sex is more about taking from it what I need at the time without being selfish. I know better than anyone how he is going to make me multi orgasm and because he loves me to multi orgasm he's always up for a bit of womanly hunger.
There are times (often) when I am expected to be passive and actually I find that 'using side' of him very exciting but that's a head thing for me more than a physical thing because afterwards I usually find myself reaching for the vibrator

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 7/16/2009 5:40:31 AM >

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/16/2009 11:37:05 AM

BoundDragon

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As a sub I find that I long to fight back so to speak and I have to admit its good to lose!!!

I found myself less and less assertive as I gained weight but as I am doing something about that I think I'll get a bit of spunk back (excuse the pun).

Personally for me I become far more heated, wild and hard to control after a good hard fight, a bit of sparring seems to get me really fired up... even so, I just long to finally submit because I have no choice.

I must ask him how he feels on the subject

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/16/2009 12:52:16 PM

IronBear

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

Do you like your submissive to be passive during sex?
or do you prefer her to show some assertion, even sexual aggression in the bedroom?
Would you deem it un-sublike for a woman to show sexual aggression?

I think I am often fairly aggressive during sex but that doesn't mean I don't feel any less submissive. It just makes loosing so sweet!

Whilst I enjoy a woman to show some form of sexual aggression including at times the need to be forced into submitting sexually, it is after all just part of the game with the exception of a woman who just can not orgasm unless she is taken forcibly with rough sex which has it's own set of attractions and it's own set of negatives too. I whole lot is very dependant on my mind set at the time. Having said this, if the girl is a slave collared either to Bruin Cottage and even more particularly if she is collared to me, will know my likes and dislikes and also know the limitations as well as being able to pick the times when such play is appropriate. That is to say, if I am in a playful mood or if I just need hard sex. There are also times when I actually need her to be aggressive so I can subdue her physically, beat her arse and take her in as many humiliating degrading ways I can think of. Again still just part of the sex.

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/16/2009 6:06:45 PM

kallisto

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

Coming from a sub Does one have to be either passive or agressive? I like to think I'm both, depending on him, the mood, what he wants, the situation, etc. I think there are certain times that neither one of us would get any satisfaction if I were not to be "agressive or assertive". But I don't think that undermines or takes away my "submissiveness" at all.

I agree and no, a submissive doesn't need to be passive or aggressive sexually. The question was specifically about the sexual side of things

Right and I was posting to just the "sexual side of things".

Knowing his wants and needs and desires will direct and fuel mine and I like that. Knowing that rough sex was the order for the night and I just "passively" lay there certainly would not be fulfilling his wants or mine for that matter. For me, being passive or aggressive or assertive does not make one lose their submissiveness. And I don't want to be one or the other all the time. I would think eventually sex would become boring and where's the enjoyment and pleasure in that?

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/16/2009 9:17:37 PM

Leonidas

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

Do you like your submissive to be passive during sex?
or do you prefer her to show some assertion, even sexual aggression in the bedroom?
Would you deem it un-sublike for a woman to show sexual aggression?

I think I am often fairly aggressive during sex but that doesn't mean I don't feel any less submissive. It just makes loosing so sweet!

Helplessly needy. Helplessly aroused. Helplessly responsive. To bring a female slave to the point where she will beg for touch without shame, and respond with a complete loss of control when she is touched. When the slave girl experiences orgasm as a surrender to her master's will, that is, I think, the good stuff. I don't think I have run across a slave girl yet for whom fantasies of sexual surrender aren't among those she holds most dear.

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/17/2009 4:27:52 AM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

Coming from a sub Does one have to be either passive or agressive? I like to think I'm both, depending on him, the mood, what he wants, the situation, etc. I think there are certain times that neither one of us would get any satisfaction if I were not to be "agressive or assertive". But I don't think that undermines or takes away my "submissiveness" at all.

I agree and no, a submissive doesn't need to be passive or aggressive sexually. The question was specifically about the sexual side of things

Right and I was posting to just the "sexual side of things". Knowing his wants and needs and desires will direct and fuel mine and I like that. Knowing that rough sex was the order for the night and I just "passively" lay there certainly would not be fulfilling his wants or mine for that matter. For me, being passive or aggressive or assertive does not make one lose their submissiveness. And I don't want to be one or the other all the time. I would think eventually sex would become boring and where's the enjoyment and pleasure in that?

Well I don't think we have to be one or the other all of the time. I am sorry if I gave that impression. The post wasn't about being a 2 trick pony so much as, do we enjoy this element within our sexual life as submissives or Dominants.

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/17/2009 5:08:58 AM

librarysub

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My husband and i had wrestling "battles" occasionally. i really only stood a chance by acting really off the wall and getting Him laughing. But eventually He'd have enough and i'd get the whole pinned down now waht are you going to do talk. Those are good memories. Master and i aren't really that way though. He just enjoys the occasional physcial aggression then a quick back off.

linda{Monticore}

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RE: sex and the submissive - 7/17/2009 8:47:02 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

Do you like your submissive to be passive during sex?
or do you prefer her to show some assertion, even sexual aggression in the bedroom?
Would you deem it un-sublike for a woman to show sexual aggression?

I think I am often fairly aggressive during sex but that doesn't mean I don't feel any less submissive. It just makes loosing so sweet!

I've had those who thought sub = getting to be a dead arse in bed. No thanks, if I wanted that I'd use a doll (and in fact, that would be more fun).

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