Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (Full Version)

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mistoferin -> Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 6:42:38 AM)

At a recent lifestyle event a group of us began discussing fluid bonding. Now I know that this is a topic more suited for the health and safety board, but I think that a great number of people here don't pay much attention to that board and this is just too important to ignore. If the Mods wish to move it I will understand but I just wanted this to be discussed by as many as possible.

I was astonished to find out the misconceptions that are out there regarding fluid bonding and safe sex...even in a community that is "supposed" to be more knowledgable on matters concerning sex.

Well, over half the men thought that it is perfectly safe to get a blow job with no protection....and almost all of the men thought that deep kissing is completely safe. A good number of men also thought that cunnilingus is safe with no protection. Most of the women however, had a very good understanding of safe sex practices and risks.

I was really shocked by this as many of these people are in poly situations that are not of the monagamous poly variety.

So...what are your thoughts? Do you think it's ok to get an unprotected blow job...or eat an unprotected pussy....and then put on your condom for intercourse and think you are safe?



theRose4U -> RE: Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 7:02:03 AM)

While I think that dental dams are inherrently unsexy...I think an STD would be worse. Regardless of urban legend you can't "look" at a person and tell if they have an STD.

Personally if I am going to take someone into my care one of their first tasks to show their desire is a full physical including white and red cell counts (anemia or any infection), HIV, STD cultures as well as an overall physical.
Maybe it's paranoid of me but I don't get a dog without having it vetted why would I take a sub without knowing physical issues or potential problems up front.

By the way YES I do the same and share even when sex isn't involved...accidents can happen.



mistoferin -> RE: Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 7:05:53 AM)

quote:

Regardless of urban legend you can't "look" at a person and tell if they have an STD.


Lol...believe it or not several men SAID that they could tell if a pussy is sick by looking at it. One even said that he only will go down on pussies that are completely pink...he said that if there was any tan or brown around the edges of the lips it means the pussy is either dirty, infected or just getting old. I almost fell out of my chair.



theRose4U -> RE: Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 7:09:45 AM)

quote:

Lol...believe it or not several men SAID that they could tell if a pussy is sick by looking at it


WOW If they can do that I need them to help at my cat shelter...imagine the money I'll save in VET BILLS :) :) he he meow [:D]



Quivver -> RE: Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 7:10:33 AM)

Great Question Erin, I've wondered this myself many times over the years, yet have no answers. I find it difficult to give a BJ with a condom on, then again not one has requested it, ever. But for the most part fluid transfer for me has been within a one on one thing, even that though is not fail proof with relationships that eventually end as we then move on to the next and the next even if this occures over years rather then day's or months. I have noticed most of the Males I've found hate condom use, even a few times where they just wont have sex if they have to wear one. Maybe it's somewhere in that thought that the "it's ok to get a BJ unprotected" comes into thought, I wish I knew.
I'm looking forward to reading others thoughts here too, Thanks.
Q



Elegant -> RE: Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 7:33:46 AM)

The only 'exchange of fluid' I will do with anyone but Master Archer is kissing mouth to mouth (and I avoid that is there is a sign of lip and/or mouth ulcers). Yes, I will kiss someone who is HIV/AIDS.

Oral sex on men or women can lead to exchange of fluid even if orgasm is not achieved. Pathogens can be transferred by bloodplay activities so gloves and other protective measures are important. We do not even share wooden clothespins or use those provided at dungeons.

Exchange of blood or cum is not an option with anyone else unless we are in a fully disclosed relationship and they have been tested (official results given) and have committed to being fluid bonded with Master and me and no one else.

Jimminy cricket, I wont even touch the blood of someone on the soccer or lacross field unless I am protected. I don't play Russian Roulette.

The ignorance of many in regards to STD's amazes me still.






iheartperverts -> RE: Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 7:51:24 AM)

I always use a condom. I think most men are really turned off by the thought of it, but I'm even more turned off by the thought of an STD so heh.



DragonNphoenix -> RE: Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 10:16:36 AM)

My Dragon and I only engage in fluid exchange with someone that we are in a commited relationship with... i.e. only each other and our Kitten. And we dont play outside of our relationship.. so I feel that we are pretty safe.

1st Girl Phoenix




Wildfleurs -> RE: Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 10:18:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

At a recent lifestyle event a group of us began discussing fluid bonding. Now I know that this is a topic more suited for the health and safety board, but I think that a great number of people here don't pay much attention to that board and this is just too important to ignore. If the Mods wish to move it I will understand but I just wanted this to be discussed by as many as possible.

I was astonished to find out the misconceptions that are out there regarding fluid bonding and safe sex...even in a community that is "supposed" to be more knowledgable on matters concerning sex.

Well, over half the men thought that it is perfectly safe to get a blow job with no protection....and almost all of the men thought that deep kissing is completely safe. A good number of men also thought that cunnilingus is safe with no protection. Most of the women however, had a very good understanding of safe sex practices and risks.

I was really shocked by this as many of these people are in poly situations that are not of the monagamous poly variety.

So...what are your thoughts? Do you think it's ok to get an unprotected blow job...or eat an unprotected pussy....and then put on your condom for intercourse and think you are safe?


To me fluid bonding means no kissing, no unprotected oral sex (flavored condoms for blow jobs and saran wrap or dental dams for cunninglinguis). It literally means to me that there is a barrier for any fluids.

C~



truesub4u -> RE: Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 10:18:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Regardless of urban legend you can't "look" at a person and tell if they have an STD.



DO WHAT!?!?

I have never heard of this legend. My cousin's husband died couple days ago from Aids (acquired during surgery years ago from bad blood)... up until 6 months ago... there was no way of looking at him and being able to tell he has Aids.

I always did find it funny how oral sex was performed by both parties... but the use of a condom was required because of fear of STD.




truesub4u -> RE: Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 10:23:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin



Lol...believe it or not several men SAID that they could tell if a pussy is sick by looking at it. One even said that he only will go down on pussies that are completely pink...he said that if there was any tan or brown around the edges of the lips it means the pussy is either dirty, infected or just getting old. I almost fell out of my chair.


(picking ass up outta the floor now... look for screen cleaner AGAIN... LOL)

OMG that was just to damn funny......



amayos -> RE: Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 12:12:50 PM)

Great topic to bring up, although these men sounded almost too clueless; how is such stupidity possible today? Goodness.

I myself am extremely paranoid about STDs, and a full blood screening is mandatory before I'll even care to beat you. There is a huge amount of misinformation about HIV, HVS, HA,B,C, and HPV, among others.

In the event they do not come from the factory by error and compromised structurally, condoms and dams and gloves MAY protect you—but they are not a guarantee against anything. Pathogens can be transmitted via saliva, blood and in some cases, even sweat.

My advice is to simply NOT touch, kiss, copulate or otherwise "bond" with someone, period, until they are screened. Repeatedly, if necessary.



FelinePersuasion -> RE: Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 12:47:24 PM)

One of the guys on another kink site told his girl to be tested got her results and then a while later she confessed she had hepatitus. She didn't think hep was something serious enough to confess in the beginning. He was freaking out for a while thinking oh shit he could get hep i don't know what happend with that though.



krikket -> RE: Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 12:56:14 PM)

i always figure that if a new partner doesn't care enough about himself to want to protect himself from all the possibilities, i'm positive he's not doing to care enough to protect me either..which means the subject of safe sex is a moot point..cuz there's not gonna be any. i do care enough about myself -- and i make sure to have my obgyn run the necessary tests every year for my physical. Accidents happen...life happens..

it's really as simple as that...



Sensualips -> RE: Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 1:06:55 PM)

I always use condoms for sexual intercourse, anal sex, or otherwise. I always use gloves for fisting or anything involving blood.

I sometimes use a condom for giving oral...but not in a typical situation. I make sure potential partners know this and know the number of people I have had unprotected oral sex with in the past six months. I have never had anyone ask I use a condom after disclosing that.

I have never used a dental dam, or been asked to. I kiss and lick and bite (not skin-breaking) with no concern.

For me, this is all acceptable risk.



FelinePersuasion -> RE: Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 1:17:54 PM)

Sometimes I just wanna say duh dumbass's where'd you ever get your info people like you should NOT be having sex/ sexual relations at all. Become totaly celibate lol.


quote:


Lol...believe it or not several men SAID that they could tell if a pussy is sick by looking at it



Sirandlittle1 -> RE: Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 1:30:31 PM)

This here, right here, is why you should be screened. Because those that have blood translated diseases, really are not always knowledgable to know how it is transferred sometimes.
With blow jobs, i would never clean my teeth first, i wouldnt swallow. This stipulation was whilst we awaited results, both of us were healthy, both of us had tested negative, but both had practised safe sex with another in between last results and awaited results. So the risk was minimal, yet not NO risk. As for intercourse, or anal, no result, no fuck. Simple. And the reason there is soooo much ignorant myths abounding these days, i put it down to this generation, unlike mine, have not watched friends die of HIV, ive heard many young men, talk about how HIV is not a death sentence anymore! They may not be so easily convinced, if they'd lost a few freinds from it, like most of us in the UK in the 40 age bracket have. They are the next lost generation to come.
Kissing: no problem kissing people with HIV, i wouldnt kiss anyone with a sore on their mouth or poor oral hygeine.
Anal would be what i consider the most likely transfer route as i dont use needles. And id not go there unless with someone i trusted to and had had checked first.
little1
quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

One of the guys on another kink site told his girl to be tested got her results and then a while later she confessed she had hepatitus. She didn't think hep was something serious enough to confess in the beginning. He was freaking out for a while thinking oh shit he could get hep i don't know what happend with that though.




amayos -> RE: Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 2:27:42 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips

I always use condoms for sexual intercourse, anal sex, or otherwise. I always use gloves for fisting or anything involving blood.

I sometimes use a condom for giving oral...but not in a typical situation. I make sure potential partners know this and know the number of people I have had unprotected oral sex with in the past six months. I have never had anyone ask I use a condom after disclosing that.

I have never used a dental dam, or been asked to. I kiss and lick and bite (not skin-breaking) with no concern.

For me, this is all acceptable risk.



...A brave soul.





swtnsparkling -> RE: Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 2:54:07 PM)

I have a g/f and a few back before she had found her one- was out giving BJ to almost anyone at any time that asked. She never used a condom she said she was safe b/c the acid in the stomach would kill anything.



proudsub -> RE: Fluid Bonding and misconceptions. (2/19/2006 2:57:08 PM)

I just have to add that you don't need fluid exchange to pick up or transmit HPV, it is transmitted by genital skin contact and although condoms may help they won't prevent it. The tough part is that for the non wart varieties of HPV men show no symptoms and there is no test for it in men, but they can still transmit it. Women however can develop cervical dysplasia from the HPV virus, and if not treated it can lead to cervical cancer. That's why annual paps are so important. Now the really scary thing is that 75-80% of sexually active adults carry HPV and most don't know it.[:o]



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