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RE: Is a dom always considered a "master?" - 8/27/2009 1:06:28 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		My dominant Husband and i are very much a normal couple... i asked Him to be my Master about two years ago and our relationship has improved enormously...  i used to get frustrated with him for not doing exactly what i had in mind without even telling him my thoughts, but now i have learnt to ask politely and after He considers my request i might actually get what i wish for... or not, but anyway  He knows my desire... and indeed i am not mindless at all.
He likes the title Master... He does not like Sir or Lord... He is somewhat amused by King... I prefer to call Him Master when we are private, King sounds a bit odd to me...  and lets face it; if i would not call Him Master then who else would give Him that pleasure?

< Message edited by ranja -- 8/27/2009 1:08:57 AM >

(in reply to howthingsare)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Is a dom always considered a "master?" - 8/27/2009 3:45:06 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterlink65

that is why i made the little girl crack. you have less experience than i do, yet you so easily show attitude to someone merely trying to help and share experience with the "younglings".

as i have said over and over. when you use terms loosely and incorrectly it makes one appear foolish.





And when you dismiss people simply for being born a few years after you, it makes one appear an ass

How long you have done something does not mean that you are any good at, Keanu has been acting for years. A president is elected and recognised, who are you elected by? One moment you say you are only a master to your slave and the next its a nationally recognised thing? Why because you have turned up for a long time?

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to masterlink65)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Is a dom always considered a "master?" - 8/27/2009 4:32:46 AM   
Apocalypso


Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterlink65
the cap would be the last thing to earn.
first thing in order to learn or earn anything from a potential mentor. you would have to lose the ego and arrogance, and acknowledge that someone has more experience than you do.maybe humble your tone a bit, no matter the age.


Speaking for me personally, it isn't that I don't think I have anything to learn from people with more experience.  Nor am I anti leather (I've actually stuck up for the leather community on here before and chat to at least one experienced leatherman). It's that I don't respect you, personally.  Because nothing I've seen from you leads me to do so.  You're pompous and you're tiresome.  If you want to help the "younglings", try actually approaching as as fellow human beings rather then some kind of Victorian philanthropist throwing slices of bread to the lower classes.

quote:

as i have said over and over. when you use terms loosely and incorrectly it makes one appear foolish.
Yeah, let me spell this one out.  The leather community did not invent the word "master".  Therefore, you have a right to define what a "master" is within the leather subculture.  But not a right to insist on an exclusive definition.  Unless you're a linguist, in which case it's at least worth debating.


_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to masterlink65)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Is a dom always considered a "master?" - 8/27/2009 7:21:08 AM   
SimplyIsaac


Posts: 376
Joined: 12/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterlink65
first thing in order to learn or earn anything from a potential mentor. you would have to lose the ego and arrogance, and acknowledge that someone has more experience than you do.maybe humble your tone a bit, no matter the age. when you learn this way. you learn to empathize instead of criticize.  as you learn and excel you earn. some earn faster than others.  its kinda like joining a motorcycle club. you can say your a H&#lls A*^%or Ou!@&w all day long. go to the clubhouse and say it. i am sure they will just hand over a patch and say please wear this. its kind of like that. how long you probate depends on your mentor and your learning ability. some just get thrown out.


that is why i made the little girl crack. you have less experience than i do, yet you so easily show attitude to someone merely trying to help and share experience with the "younglings".

as i have said over and over. when you use terms loosely and incorrectly it makes one appear foolish.



Question: does the ego come back in spades after you pass muster with the leather popes of the rope? It certainly seems like it does.

Looking forward to your answer...after the [Awaiting Approval] is removed, that is.

(in reply to masterlink65)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Is a dom always considered a "master?" - 8/27/2009 8:46:43 AM   
masterlink65


Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		if you would read the thread it would be clear who it was directed towards. it was directed towards the person with 2 years experience and had everything figured out after 1 year in the lifestyle



(in reply to sravaka)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Is a dom always considered a "master?" - 8/27/2009 9:16:33 AM   
masterlink65


Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally


quote:

ORIGINAL: masterlink65

that is why i made the little girl crack. you have less experience than i do, yet you so easily show attitude to someone merely trying to help and share experience with the "younglings".

as i have said over and over. when you use terms loosely and incorrectly it makes one appear foolish.





And when you dismiss people simply for being born a few years after you, it makes one appear an ass

How long you have done something does not mean that you are any good at, Keanu has been acting for years. A president is elected and recognised, who are you elected by? One moment you say you are only a master to your slave and the next its a nationally recognised thing? Why because you have turned up for a long time?


i do not dismiss people cause they were born after me, but someone with 2 years experience, and says they learned everything they need to know to be an expert the first year??????? come on, you believe that crap.

its more like international. there are many other master and slaves who know where my compatibilities lie.

when you are finished with the crumbs, let me know, just give a squawk, and have more to throw to the plebs.

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Is a dom always considered a "master?" - 8/27/2009 2:11:00 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		He isn't nor did he ever claim to be an expert honestly I don't see how you are an expert on relationships after 10, 20 or 30 years. He is however a master in his relationship, indeed from reading how he and carol interact one of the only people I would call a master. You on the other hand are sneering and missing the point, hardly something that commands respect. I really do not care how many other people appreciate you any more than you would me. To simply insult for no reason, to patronise and belittle is a sign of weakness not strength. Therefore if you are a true master, I never want one, I would far prefer a fake one like Jeff, or my lovely, wonderful fake one.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to masterlink65)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Is a dom always considered a "master?" - 8/27/2009 10:00:04 PM   
masterlink65


Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		i am not an expert on any relationship. the subject got up about earning leather. i am just sharing with this forum how leather is earned, and how the traditions of such are carried on. i am not the only one to speak of this, so maybe there is some merit to it.

first stage is denial right. go ahead, open the box, look inside. but the leather faerie isnt there, he is in the basket.


all kidding aside. like i said before, i could give a shit less about leather. unless i am riding my motorcycle, but when at a leather function, i will do my best to put on my parade performance for all the plebeians.

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Is a dom always considered a "master?" - 8/28/2009 6:41:26 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally
He isn't nor did he ever claim to be an expert honestly I don't see how you are an expert on relationships after 10, 20 or 30 years. He is however a master in his relationship, indeed from reading how he and carol interact one of the only people I would call a master. You on the other hand are sneering and missing the point, hardly something that commands respect. I really do not care how many other people appreciate you any more than you would me. To simply insult for no reason, to patronise and belittle is a sign of weakness not strength. Therefore if you are a true master, I never want one, I would far prefer a fake one like Jeff, or my lovely, wonderful fake one.


"masterlink65", I do not care how many years you have in 'the lifestyle' or how many you have 'owned' or whatever other UberDom assertions you desire to make, Jeff 'gets it'.  He may not 'get it' from where you stand and I feel relatively confident with the guess that that's just fine by him: his understanding of people, human nature, and responsibility as well as care, strength, and openness is a testament to his fortitude and stature.  Anyone who knows me on here or elsewhere knows that I do not wield honourifics lightly -ever- and Jeff is one of the few people I will say comports himself as a Master and a damn good husband, friend, and person. 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Is a Dom always considered a "master?" - 8/28/2009 7:03:25 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		This has turned into quite the festival, hasn't it? The most important point was brought up a little while back and didn't seem to garner very much attention:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

Obvious difference.  Becoming a doctor involves a formally recognised (by everyone) academic qualification.


There seems to be a misunderstanding (maybe by some on both sides?) that the constructs which the leather community attempts to create a system of endowment upon are ones which have no actual scholastic/technical bearings. Well...actually, perhaps they do peripherally (skillsets such as bootblacking, for instance). However, in the context of "Master" and "slave" as terms used to represent something or someone in a relationship, experience in the leather community is irrelevant. Trying to parade leather experience badges when the topic strays from specifically leather issues is the equivalent of expecting co-workers at a new job to honor your accomplishments (employee of the month?) from your last one.

This is because, at the lowest common denominator, the terms "Master " and "slave" describe just another variation of human relationships and the credentials most relevant to having successful relationships have no more to do with one community than any other (or none at all).

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 8/28/2009 7:06:20 PM >

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
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(in reply to Apocalypso)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Is a Dom always considered a "master?" - 8/28/2009 7:15:23 PM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline 		There is no set, hard and fast rules about how to earn a Masters Cover in the Leather Community. The Men and Women, that I know who have earned a cover have done so through years of service to the Leather Community in their local area. It's more like an act of the community as a whole, to award a deserving person a Masters Cover. If awarded one you have shown through many, many different ways over the years your dedication to the lifestyle and the community. And in doing so over the years you have "earned your stripes" and your Leather. And that is everything from being a good upstanding pillar of the community, to knowing the more technical aspects of play ect,ect.

As for personal relationships, I call someone Master only if I feel that they have earned the right to be called that, by ME.


_____________________________

Resident Hell Cat



(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Is a Dom always considered a "master?" - 8/28/2009 7:39:19 PM   
canukeepup


Posts: 38
Joined: 7/21/2009
Status: offline 		who and what you are is more important then the name or title you hold isn't it?

(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Is a Dom always considered a "master?" - 8/28/2009 7:40:42 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Brief hi-jack: NZ, You and Yours are invited for food, beverage, and hangin' out just as soon as my house decides to stop taking on water and the cool comfy basement is put back together!  :> 

Sunnyfey: Interesting elucidation of someone earning greater credibility in the leather community.  :>  While protocols and details may be different, someone of supposed experience and expertise lambasting someone of credibility with whom they simply don't agree would be frowned upon in said community as I frowned upon a certain individual's personal attack on a friend, no? 
 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Is a dom always considered a "master?" - 8/28/2009 7:56:25 PM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

You on the other hand are sneering and missing the point, hardly something that commands respect.

To simply insult for no reason, to patronise and belittle is a sign of weakness not strength.



I was midway through a reply of my own when I noticed this and thought "hoorah! I don't have to bother writing reams now!".

The bitterness in him is both palpable, and saddening. Is that how people get after doing this for a while? I've been at this for over 20 years, although I don't have a merit badge, awards, medals, or a CBE [1], but it would worry me if I thought that was how I was going to end up. For me, every day is a journey, and I slightly envy those coming to it all so young, as I did, because the journey of discovery is so wonderful. But to end up like that? Hell no.

To answer the OP; No. It's generally just a word. It's often taken to mean those into the more formalised or extreme aspects of slavery, but in my experience, outside the "award people merit badges" brigade, it's a title that means most to the D and the s, and not necessarily to anyone else.

Which doesn't, BTW, make it meaningless.

[1] Commander of the BDSM Empire


(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Is a Dom always considered a "master?" - 8/28/2009 8:04:39 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Brief hi-jack: NZ, You and Yours are invited for food, beverage, and hangin' out just as soon as my house decides to stop taking on water and the cool comfy basement is put back together!  :> 

I've totally missed you this week and having the days dedicated to other specific things has kinda made me pouty we haven't gotten to visit you yet.

Must do soon!


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Is a Dom always considered a "master?" - 8/28/2009 8:18:14 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Brief hi-jack: NZ, You and Yours are invited for food, beverage, and hangin' out just as soon as my house decides to stop taking on water and the cool comfy basement is put back together!  :> 

I've totally missed you this week and having the days dedicated to other specific things has kinda made me pouty we haven't gotten to visit you yet.

Must do soon!



As soon as the basement is un-bogged, you guys must come up! 
Or, if I can persuade y'all, Buffett's in your neck of the woods next week...you know you want to sing along to "Margaritaville" with thousands of drunk yuppies, I know I do!!!  :> 
< hugs >
     Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Is a dom always considered a "master?" - 8/29/2009 8:30:48 AM   
masterlink65


Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
Status: offline 		i know what you mean .... why do you people seem so bitter and resentful. why do you have to belittle people over simple things you do not understand?

i dont know why people have to get so upset with me sharing my knowledge and experiences with the forum.

(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Is a dom always considered a "master?" - 8/30/2009 7:55:23 AM   
Apocalypso


Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masterlink65

i know what you mean .... why do you people seem so bitter and resentful. why do you have to belittle people over simple things you do not understand?
I explained this before.  It's not about liking or disliking leather.  It's you, specifically, that people are taking issue with.

Sharing your experiences is fine.  But better yourself, as opposed to debasing everybody else's experiences.

Because as Lilly mentioned, currently you look weak.  Weak and scared...


_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to masterlink65)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Is a dom always considered a "master?" - 8/30/2009 9:20:45 AM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Apocalypso stated that extremely well.  I would add that as someone who's been moderated once, I can't claim that I always please others in how I say things (Nor do I care to necessarily) but you almost always seem to be on moderation, masterlink65.  Haven't you noticed that it's different than most posters? 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to Apocalypso)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Is a dom always considered a "master?" - 8/30/2009 11:48:37 AM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

How long you have done something does not mean that you are any good at, Keanu has been acting for years.


This is the funniest thing I've read in awhile - thanks!  lol

OP - the sort of relationship you describe is similar to our power exchange.  No, I don't think you're being too picky at all.  We enjoy lots of things together.  He encourages me to share my thoughts and feelings - but he always has the final decision in all things, and I submit to him at all times.  It's very easy and flows and feels very natural for us.  He dislikes the term 'master', so I usually call him by his name or Sir, if that feels more appropriate. 

And hey - mindless sex zombies can be very fun to play with.  I wouldn't recommend it for long-term, though! 

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 100
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