Real love for the mistress I meet for training

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Real love for the mistress I meet for training

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Real love for the mistress I meet for training

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Real love for the mistress I meet for training - 2/20/2006 4:52:51 AM

wonderful

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline

It such a beautiful thing to feel love. A mistress I have spoken to said: "oh I would never mary or fall in love with a slave" . For me this is a misunderstood understanding of the wonderful lifestile with sexuality of love and pleasure as an important part of it all. Not just pain. My thinking is that love and care is a basic part of the BDSM and B/s lifestyle. I wonder what will a mistress think about this. When now I want to meet a mistress with same attitude as mine, how should I go about it ? And also what about feeling of strength I have as a sub.. Does that automatically make me a switch ??

< Message edited by wonderful -- 2/20/2006 5:08:49 AM >

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Real love for the mistress I meet for training - 2/20/2006 6:35:09 AM

MistressFire70

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Whether or not there will be romantic love in the relationship depends entirely on the people involved. I know many from both sides of the equation. I don't have romantic love for my slaves at this time. I'm not ruling it out, but the love I have is more of a companionship/motherly type of love.

As for feeling strength as a sub and being a switch: Feeling strength in your given role is powerful and you should be grateful for it. I am one of those people who actually think that a Master/slave relationship is between human beings of equal value. Yes, the slave has surrendered to the Master, but that, in no way, lessens the value of the human being in the slave role. To devalue the slave devalues the relationship. Personally, I think if a slave is made to feel that they are nothing and unworthy of me, then I certainly own a worthless nothing. I don't want to own crap, I want to own something of true value.

As for being a switch, I hesitate to define who we are by what we do, even though I'm still guilty of doing it on occassion. I know masochistic Masters and have been one on occassion, mostly for spiritual reasons. I also feel a need to serve, and I usually serve (or try to) the Universe in my daily life to fulfill this need. Hence, the brand on my arm that says "servant master" (the other arm has "warrior priestess". My boy and girl have dominant personalities. my girl has been a Top and Dominant, my boy certainly has the potential. Still, they both are mine.

But, these are just my opinions. Feel free to form your own.

Fire

_____________________________

you have come to a great chasm. Jump. It's not as wide as you think.

(in reply to wonderful)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Real love for the mistress I meet for training - 2/20/2006 8:10:43 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wonderful

It such a beautiful thing to feel love. A mistress I have spoken to said: "oh I would never mary or fall in love with a slave" . For me this is a misunderstood understanding of the wonderful lifestile with sexuality of love and pleasure as an important part of it all. Not just pain. My thinking is that love and care is a basic part of the BDSM and B/s lifestyle. I wonder what will a mistress think about this. When now I want to meet a mistress with same attitude as mine, how should I go about it ? And also what about feeling of strength I have as a sub.. Does that automatically make me a switch ??

I think the best subs (in my experience) come and service and are submissive from a place of great inner strength -- a person who is together and has a good deal of strength offers a lot when they submit.

Romance and attitudes toward it vary widely. I have had slaves and trained submissives who were just friends and others who I had a romantic relationship with. Pros and cons to each but it was a matter of attraction and personality more than any choice either of us made. I'd be a fool to claim I could control my emotional connections always when I do Ds or SM.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to wonderful)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Real love for the mistress I meet for training - 2/20/2006 1:57:29 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wonderful

It such a beautiful thing to feel love. A mistress I have spoken to said: "oh I would never mary or fall in love with a slave" . For me this is a misunderstood understanding of the wonderful lifestile with sexuality of love and pleasure as an important part of it all. Not just pain. My thinking is that love and care is a basic part of the BDSM and B/s lifestyle. I wonder what will a mistress think about this. When now I want to meet a mistress with same attitude as mine, how should I go about it ? And also what about feeling of strength I have as a sub.. Does that automatically make me a switch ??

Having a strong personality or strong will doesn't necessarily mean you're a switch. There are many submissive men who are strong -- in fact, they are the ones that are often in high demand. Don't hide that part of yourself. It's a very attractive quality to dominant women.

There are women that seek submissive men as just partners or friends and others that seek lifemates or permanent partners. I always needed to have some level of connection with a man -- lust, affection, or love. If I didn't have one of those three for a man, I really had no desire to dominate him.

Love *will* often change the dynaminc in a bdsm relationship -- it really depends on how the love affects her desire to dominate and his desire to submit. As always, good communication are key.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to wonderful)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Real love for the mistress I meet for training - 2/21/2006 7:30:35 AM

wonderful

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline

Thank you for support of the thoughts and philosophy I have. It is so great to to feel the strength of loving onseself I have experienced how important that is, to share my strength, my love and care unconditionally to the girl I love, now my ex girlfriend. I still love her as a very good friend, but not any more my lover. Now I look forward to be accepted by a mistress who will train me, and who will share the attitude of equality as human beings, both the domina /dom and me as a pretty strong sub for her. Both the dom/domina and the Sub in my oppinion has an obligation to share integrity of a real love and care to the other. I am now looking forward to sharing the whole of me with a girl of my life, a mistress I will learn to love and allways to serve and support so beautifully. May be you are here to read my invitation ?

< Message edited by wonderful -- 2/21/2006 8:39:26 AM >

(in reply to AAkasha)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Real love for the mistress I meet for training - 2/21/2006 9:26:23 AM

LadySonelle

Posts: 280
Joined: 8/24/2004
From: Santa Fe NM
Status: offline

I love My slaves as a mother loves her children! Each slave imprints his personality on My heart as I do, his or hers. I am enriched emotionally and spiritually by My beloved slaves and I could NOT imagine entering into such a close and mutually nourishing relationship as BDSM if I didn't care for My slaves.

In My online Lessons I teach My slaves the importance of being open and emotionally connected, Mistress to slave, slave to Mistress. Real change cannot be generated without that vulnerability.

Lady Sonelle

_____________________________

Come to My domain and read My Lessons online! http://www.LadySonelle.com then place yourself beneath My loving Hand!

(in reply to wonderful)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Real love for the mistress I meet for training - 2/21/2006 1:19:56 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

While love is wonderful in a BDSM or D/s relationship, it is not a guaranteed part of it. The core of D/s is power exchange.. giving over control. Love is not inherent in power exchange. You do it at work every day. Your boss tells you what to do, and you comply. (Few people of my acquaintance love their boss.)

Sex is another thing that isn't a given in a BDSM relationship. D/s is about power and you can have power without sex; therefore sex is not nececary. I've had subs who never laid a hand on me and I never touched in a sexual fashion.

You have a romanticized view of BDSM and there are others who feel the same way. You just have to make sure that you're paired with a Dominant who is seeking the same relationship goals as you do.

Be honest and up front. There are a lot of Domme out there looking to find someone for a long term relationship or marriage. And just because someone has the same relationship goals doesn't mean things will work out. I had many subs and cared about them all as friends until I met my husband and fell madly in love with him. He is the first sub I've had serve me that I am truly in love with. Generally, most who keep a sub do end up fond of that sub. Subs often fall in love with their Dominant. What we do is very emotionally charged. It is hard to remain totally aloof from the other person.

< Message edited by BeachMystress -- 2/21/2006 1:20:37 PM >

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to wonderful)

Profile

Post #: 7