Self Inflicted Orgasm Denial?

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Self Inflicted Orgasm Denial? - 7/30/2009 3:54:54 PM

xiam

Posts: 148
Joined: 7/1/2007
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Strange but as i become more submissive in my relationship, my own sexual gratification has become less and less important to me. I'm trying to wrap my head around this. He certainly didn't ask me to, and i still get myself off when i am alone, but with him.... all i think about is his pleasure. I'm turned on to the point of near frenzy and he gets off til he's exhausted and physically incapable of more.

Anyone ever experienced anything like this? It's certainly new to me, and i have been trying to figure out exactly why. I think part of it is that he gets exhausted, and i don't want to burden him (old girl takes some time these days!) but more so that i simply don't want to burden him at all. Making him happy both in and out of the bedroom consumes most of my thoughts and this level of submission is a new experience for me as well.

Any thoughts? Stories?

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RE: Self Inflicted Orgasm Denial? - 7/31/2009 2:50:50 PM

xiam

Posts: 148
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Aww, no responses, really?

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RE: Self Inflicted Orgasm Denial? - 7/31/2009 2:57:21 PM

AnimusRex

Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
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Actually, this is not so uncommon- kim and I were just talking about this today.
For her, like many submissives, providing pleasure to her Man IS delightful, and pleasing in itself- not that she doesn't enjoy sex or orgasms, but often she simply delights in servicing Me, and seeing how much pleasure she gives. And even knowing that she is doing this is a delight to Me as well, and her servility is intoxicating and arousing.

Kim asked that I also write- "slowly but surely, the women's liberation movement is leaving her body".

(in reply to xiam)

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RE: Self Inflicted Orgasm Denial? - 7/31/2009 3:10:14 PM

xiam

Posts: 148
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Ha! Thanks, Kim. :D

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RE: Self Inflicted Orgasm Denial? - 7/31/2009 6:14:30 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
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A femslave once wrote the following, which may ring true for you too...

"When engaging in non-BDSM (A.K.A. vanilla) sex, I thought too much. I was constantly trying to gauge what the man wanted from me, and pleasure him. I was also seeking my own pleasure, but often couldn't truly experience it, because I was so preoccupied with performance. Often I only sought to cum as a means to satisfy the man, and not myself. I would pressure myself relentlessly to orgasm because I wanted my partner to feel like a stud. I faked orgasms sometimes. In many ways, sex became a chore during which I had to exercise extreme focus to get off so my partner would feel satisfied, while also anticipating and fulfilling his needs. The only time I truly felt free of pressure was when I masturbated, and during those times, I fantasized about being taken and dominated.

Why Do I Want to be Taken and Dominated? Because sexually, I need to give up all control. The way this plays out in real life is that I concede to my Master the right to use my body for his pleasure, whenever he wants, however he wants. I obey all of his sexual commands, whether it is to suck his cock at 2 AM, to bend over the kitchen counter in the middle of cooking dinner so he can fuck me, or to spread my legs wide over the legs of a chair so he can lick my pussy. He has complete access to all areas of my body at all times and controls and directs all of our sexual encounters.

The benefits to him are obvious: he can take his pleasure at any time, and know that I am not only willing, but deeply satisfied by doing things this way. The benefits to me are I no longer have to guess at what he wants. He tells me what he wants, or takes what he wants. It is no longer my responsibility to figure it out, and my mind is clear and free.

I no longer have to pressure myself to respond sexually. My sexual response is not at issue -- only his is. If I happen to cum, so be it. If I don't, so what. If he wants to give or withhold orgasms to and from me, that's his decision, not mine. My only responsibility is to be mentally present, feel, and do as he tells me. That's all. And therein lies the magic -- I am able to enjoy sex and sexually related activities as I never could before."

I should also add, with regard to the above post, the "women's liberation movement" was about CHOICE.... choosing to submit/surrender to another is as valid a "choice" as choosing a different path.

< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 7/31/2009 6:45:40 PM >

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