RE: Kind of a collar question??

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RE: Kind of a collar question?? - 10/7/2004 11:26:20 AM

MaitresseEden

Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline

I have to agree with Laura here. It is a personal thing and shouldn't be just an accessory.

For me I take collar's extremely seriously. In fact I have had long term reltionships that have been 3 years full time D/s that did not include collars. To me it is a symbol.. of total ownership and complete submission, and it isn't something that completes ones outfit. In fact sometimes it can be a ring, or a bracelet or a simple necklace. It may even be a wedding ring with an inscription or something along those lines. The traditaional leather collar worn around the neck is something that does not appeal to me much. In my opinion (yours may vary) it is more for outward show to others, than for those who it involves. I do not need to see a collar around my subs neck to know he is submissive to me. I know that by his behavior, how he walks, talks, and intrinsic feelings.

On the issue of broken trust. Speaking solely as a dominant. (I do not switch) If I betrayed a subs trust, then I would not deserve or expect them to submit to me in any way again. I would apoligise profusely and hope that they would forgive me but I would invest everthing in earning it back.. However if I see another Dominant who breaks or betrays the trust of a submissive and does not admit to it or feels that they some how have the right to do so in the name of being "dom" I immediately loose all respect for them. The same applies to submissives, It they have proven themselves to be untrustworthy, I steer clear. A person is only as good as thier words, actions and behaviors.

Just my .02

Ms. Eden

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RE: Kind of a collar question?? - 10/7/2004 5:58:28 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: smilezz

quote:

ORIGINAL: kajari
You are a captured slave owned by Master and obedience to Master is the only option to a real or true slave.

Does this mean in your eyes that you are only a 'real/true' slave if you are owned/captured by Him/Her.....as you say? am confused by your statement. I have views of my own here too....but am curious as to what you mean by this?

~smilezz~

I wonder what happens to these people if they are no longer owned? Do they just cease to exist?

I was in a marriage where he woke up one morning and told me he had changed his mind. If you (as a slave) have given over yourself to your Dom. What happens if he changes his mind one morning? What would you have left of yourself if you have given all of yourself to him? It was hard enough for me to pick up and move on, I can't imagine what it would be like if I had nothing of my self reliance left to work with.

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RE: Kind of a collar question?? - 10/13/2004 5:27:18 AM

MistressKiss

Posts: 295
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I am slightly surprised at the responses that most would continue to wear the collar. However, part of the beauty of this site is that people have varying opinions.

Having been in this situation, I could not place the collar on again, and the relationship ended in divorce eventually. Trust is such a vital part of the D/s relationship, and for me in my situation, once that trust was broken - and broken in a big way through dishonesty - I was unable to return my state of mind to that of submission with this particular person, who was my husband. I just could not "go there" with him any longer, and shortly after that I filed for divorce. Does this mean that I backed out of my commitment? Absolutely. While it is a sad thing, I could not move forward in life with a dominant that I could not trust - and it was a very bad situation.

I suppose in a way, it depends on how serious the breach of trust was - although to me, ANY breach of trust is serious. I would not have left him for one isolated incident, but there were numerous incidents. Forgiveness is one thing, but having to do this over and over, well....that's beyond me and my capabilities. I am after all, only a human being.

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