RE: Jealousy

RE: Jealousy (Full Version)

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ownedgirlie -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 6:19:16 PM)
Reminds me of the telephone game...

KnightofMists -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 6:21:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelic ok wait!!!! ROLFMAO i wasn't 'tossed' aside because of my jealousy issues!! my 'x' was a liar and cheat... ok not going into a lot of detail (i did that about 6 months ago on another thread)...i merely said i had a jealous personality and the 'x' among MANY other things fed off that... Again, i started this thread because another was being tossed aside in another thread!! my mistake... so, do you think it wrong that one should be tossed aside for jealousy issues?

MasterOwnskitty -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 6:23:08 PM)
In my opinion, there are two forms of jealousy, substantiated and unsubtantiated jealousy. Substantiated jealousy comes from facts of knowing something which makes you feel jealous. Unsubstantiated is more like blind jealousy which makes you think you know something but don't have the facts to back it up. Both forms of jealousy can empower you but the outcome of the empowerment depends on the type of jealousy you experience. For example, if you experience unsubstantiated jealousy, i. e., not knowing the facts and jumping to conclusions, you can easily go into a jealous rage and lose your power as a sensible, rational human being. On the other hand, substantiated jealousy can have you empowered to the point of taking action to change circumstances in your life, including leaving the one who has caused the situation which made you jealous. I have learned, from life's hard knocks, that it's best to think before you speak and make sure you have all of your facts straight before making any hasty conclusions.

IrishMist -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 6:25:42 PM)
quote: In my opinion, there are two forms of jealousy, substantiated and unsubtantiated jealousy. Substantiated jealousy comes from facts of knowing something which makes you feel jealous. Unsubstantiated is more like blind jealousy which makes you think you know something but don't have the facts to back it up. Both forms of jealousy can empower you but the outcome of the empowerment depends on the type of jealousy you experience. For example, if you experience unsubstantiated jealousy, i. e., not knowing the facts and jumping to conclusions, you can easily go into a jealous rage and lose your power as a sensible, rational human being. On the other hand, substantiated jealousy can have you empowered to the point of taking action to change circumstances in your life, including leaving the one who has caused the situation which made you jealous. Hit it on the head perfectly.

angelic -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 6:28:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: angelic ok wait!!!! ROLFMAO i wasn't 'tossed' aside because of my jealousy issues!! my 'x' was a liar and cheat... ok not going into a lot of detail (i did that about 6 months ago on another thread)...i merely said i had a jealous personality and the 'x' among MANY other things fed off that... Again, i started this thread because another was being tossed aside in another thread!! my mistake... so, do you think it wrong that one should be tossed aside for jealousy issues? without knowing all the facts? my first instinct is yes... because it was NEVER suggested that the One find out where the jealousy was coming from... it was BOOM no questions asked... JEALOUS!!!! GONE!!

SirKenin -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 6:41:04 PM)
I can certainly understand where they are coming from. If I had had a few bad experiences with jealous women, I would not put up with it from the next one for one minute. I would simply boot her out the door and tell her that I will FedEx her stuff to her. There comes a point in every person's life where enough is enough. It really would help to get the other two sides of the story.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 6:42:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirKenin I can certainly understand where they are coming from. If I had had a few bad experiences with jealous women, I would not put up with it from the next one for one minute. I would simply boot her out the door and tell her that I will FedEx her stuff to her. There comes a point in every person's life where enough is enough. It really would help to get the other two sides of the story. Just curious then, you judge current submissives in your life based on past ones?

KnightofMists -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 6:42:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelic without knowing all the facts? my first instinct is yes... because it was NEVER suggested that the One find out where the jealousy was coming from... it was BOOM no questions asked... JEALOUS!!!! GONE!! So, a person is obligated to determine what has motivated the jealousy behaviors before they end a relationship? This person is some how wrong to end a relationship for behaviors that is unacceptable to him... Regardless of what has motivated them? Does it make it all better that the person learns the motivation and then ends the relationship? Or maybe it would be better that Learns the motivation and then tries to change the reasons, but fails and then ends the relationship. Everyone as their own subject line in the sand so to speak. It might be wrong for you or even the girl he did it to... but obviously it was right for him. Doesn't he have the right to do what is best for him? It could very well be that the motivations and behaviors was justified, in that case the person is better without him! It very well could be the motivations and behaviors were unjustified and he did what was best for him.

michaelGA -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 6:43:55 PM)
i have fallen victim of being jealous myself, and i hate myself for it. i am trying to get past it, but it's a hard road. wish me luck.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 6:44:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: angelic without knowing all the facts? my first instinct is yes... because it was NEVER suggested that the One find out where the jealousy was coming from... it was BOOM no questions asked... JEALOUS!!!! GONE!! So, a person is obligated to determine what has motivated the jealousy behaviors before they end a relationship? This person is some how wrong to end a relationship for behaviors that is unacceptable to him... Regardless of what has motivated them? Does it make it all better that the person learns the motivation and then ends the relationship? Or maybe it would be better that Learns the motivation and then tries to change the reasons, but fails and then ends the relationship. Everyone as their own subject line in the sand so to speak. It might be wrong for you or even the girl he did it to... but obviously it was right for him. Doesn't he have the right to do what is best for him? It could very well be that the motivations and behaviors was justified, in that case the person is better without him! It very well could be the motivations and behaviors were unjustified and he did what was best for him. i don't think anywhere in this thread anyone talked about obligations. In fact the position i have stood hard on is that the Dominant should know this exists in the submissive before agreeing to own said person in the first place. i also don't know if angelic ever said it was wrong - it was merely questioned.

angelic -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 6:52:24 PM)
ok... lol (i'm getting a headache)... i ONLY felt that the reason for the jealousy should have been searched just a tiny bit... YES if it was a habitual thing and a serious personality flaw behind it... then MAYBE... but damn i don't know, and my guess is no one else does either, how long the two in question were involved... if this was indeed a 'pattern' or merely a bad day! lol taking some advil now! [8\|]

IrishMist -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 6:58:16 PM)
I think it really comes down to the people involved and the relationship dynamic between them. I know some who, before even going into a relationship state quite plainly that they will IN NO WAY deal with jealousy issues...that it is in fact...a deal breaker. In those situations, if you get involved with someone, and later down the road are suddenly experiencing issues of jealousy...for whatever reason...then yes, I can see one being cast aside without discussion. Just my opinion though, for whatever it's worth. [:)]

SirKenin -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 6:58:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie quote: ORIGINAL: SirKenin I can certainly understand where they are coming from. If I had had a few bad experiences with jealous women, I would not put up with it from the next one for one minute. I would simply boot her out the door and tell her that I will FedEx her stuff to her. There comes a point in every person's life where enough is enough. It really would help to get the other two sides of the story. Just curious then, you judge current submissives in your life based on past ones? If I saw a trend, then I would have to admit that I am wise enough to say yes. If history taught Me that this character trait leads to these destructive habits, I would certainly take the position of twice bitten, thrice shy. I would take the proactive approach and end it.

KnightofMists -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 6:59:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie i also don't know if angelic ever said it was wrong - it was merely questioned. mmmmm well I specifically asked if it was wrong! quote: ...do you think it wrong that one should be tossed aside for jealousy issues? and angelic stated with qualification quote: without knowing all the facts? my first instinct is yes... because it was NEVER suggested that the One find out where the jealousy was coming from... it was BOOM no questions asked... JEALOUS!!!! GONE!! so yes she said it is wrong!

SirKenin -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 7:01:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist I think it really comes down to the people involved and the relationship dynamic between them. I know some who, before even going into a relationship state quite plainly that they will IN NO WAY deal with jealousy issues...that it is in fact...a deal breaker. In those situations, if you get involved with someone, and later down the road are suddenly experiencing issues of jealousy...for whatever reason...then yes, I can see one being cast aside without discussion. Just my opinion though, for whatever it's worth. [:)] That is Me actually. The last three partners I have had were warned of that explicitly. They were told in plain english that I would simply not put up with it. The reason? The girl before that was hell on earth and made a complete fool out of Me. I vowed never again. I am not saying that is necessarily the right approach to take. The approach of seeing where it goes first does not necessarily hurt, but I am not willing to risk it. It was absolute hell.

angelic -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 7:06:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie i also don't know if angelic ever said it was wrong - it was merely questioned. i said my first instinct was yes... because i DON'T have all the facts... geez... pops two more advil ;) mmmmm well I specifically asked if it was wrong! quote: ...do you think it wrong that one should be tossed aside for jealousy issues? and angelic stated with qualification quote: without knowing all the facts? my first instinct is yes... because it was NEVER suggested that the One find out where the jealousy was coming from... it was BOOM no questions asked... JEALOUS!!!! GONE!! so yes she said it is wrong!

KnightofMists -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 7:07:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie ... In fact the position i have stood hard on is that the Dominant should know this exists in the submissive before agreeing to own said person in the first place. Human behavior is not an exact science.... when a submissive knows everything of themself and can communicate that fact to the Dominant... well life will be a whole lot better. And the reverse is true as well. I haven't met a single Dominant that knew everything of him/herself. Most people do the best they can. But in the end people try to do what is best for themself. Some have a low tolerance for jealousy, often because of experience. Some haven't ever experienced, but suddenly find themself dealing with it. Everyone is going to make choices ... some are good ... some are bad! Fact is... we don't know everything about ourselves. Some situations we have never experienced and can bring emotions and behaviors we never of dreamed possible in ourselves. People also "LIE" to others and themself and that in of itself is not so easily discovered.

KnightofMists -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 7:13:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirKenin That is Me actually. The last three partners I have had were warned of that explicitly. They were told in plain english that I would simply not put up with it. The reason? The girl before that was hell on earth and made a complete fool out of Me. I vowed never again. I am not saying that is necessarily the right approach to take. The approach of seeing where it goes first does not necessarily hurt, but I am not willing to risk it. It was absolute hell. You do the best you can like most would I think. Not sure if there is such a thing as the best approach!... But, it's your approach and it works for you.... so I can't see what the big deal is! I would think we all have a right to make choices that are best for our self.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 7:17:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie ... In fact the position i have stood hard on is that the Dominant should know this exists in the submissive before agreeing to own said person in the first place. Human behavior is not an exact science.... when a submissive knows everything of themself and can communicate that fact to the Dominant... well life will be a whole lot better. And the reverse is true as well. I haven't met a single Dominant that knew everything of him/herself. Most people do the best they can. But in the end people try to do what is best for themself. Some have a low tolerance for jealousy, often because of experience. Some haven't ever experienced, but suddenly find themself dealing with it. Everyone is going to make choices ... some are good ... some are bad! Fact is... we don't know everything about ourselves. Some situations we have never experienced and can bring emotions and behaviors we never of dreamed possible in ourselves. People also "LIE" to others and themself and that in of itself is not so easily discovered. i can understand these points for the most part. Maybe i am just a rare case of my Master learning the things i did not even know about myself, and molding me away from those things to his liking. i suppose there are two sides to this coin, also. A Dominant can find the submissive of his/her dreams and she can discover one particular trait in the Dom she doesn't like, and abruptly walk away without an attempt to resolve it.

KnightofMists -> RE: Jealousy (2/21/2006 7:25:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie i suppose there are two sides to this coin, also. A Dominant can find the submissive of his/her dreams and she can discover one particular trait in the Dom she doesn't like, and abruptly walk away without an attempt to resolve it. and that is the submissives choice! As hard as it maybe for the Dominant... or any person for that matter. We all could be in a potential situation that requires us to end a relationship do to one straw that breaks the camels back. For some it's jealousy, some it is Lying and still some have other lines in the sand. Most often it might be a combo of things that we will find unacceptable. Each to their own!

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