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BitaTruble -> RE: ?'s for the brand spanking new (2/24/2006 4:00:35 PM)
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quote:
Okay.. so what are some suggestions for finding out how your "significant other" feels about stuff if you can't even get them to sit down and communicate with you? He is hot one day and cold the next... unfortunately I am finding that the spankings and biting are all happening in public ..building up this whole incredible feeling... then when we are together... wham.. its all vanilla... not that the nilla thing is bad.. because its great.. its just that i really want more... ~sigh~ I dunno... is upside down a bad thing? Because thats how everything feels right now...
T
T,
You are in a bit of a unique situation simply because 'most' family's these days aren't 'Cheaper by the Dozen' in size. Finding 5 mins to brush your teeth is a feat in and of itself at your house! You two are going to have to make a concerted effort to TALK, even if you have to tie him up and drag him away and leave the rugrats with a sitter.
There is a style of play called 'Topping from the Bottom', in which the bottom or submissive is the one who actually takes control and initiates actions. Normally, this is not something I advocate but in your case, I'd make an exception and that's only because I know you. You have a good vanilla sex life, so the next time the two of you are feeling on the randy side, drape yourself over his life with your bottom up and tell him you want to talk and you're not moving until you do. Ask him to rub your ass or lightly spank you while you talk. Tell him when it feels good and ask him how it's making him feel. Keep the flow of conversation going and see where it leads.
It could be that he's embarrased to discuss sexual activities, it could be he's afraid of hurting you even though you like that sort of thing.. there are any number of reasons why the heat is on in public then the ice comes out in the bedroom, but until you find out 'why', you're going to be getting lots of ice with your tea. Pick him up a copy of The Topping Book. Since you have the main interest here, it's up to YOU to keep things going in the right direction till the light bulbs go off for him.
Feel free to call me, hon.. but do try some of these things and see if they help. If not, perhaps some of the other posters here can come up with some techniques to help you. I have to say though, that the 'talking' part is really important. Without communication, you're going to be vanilla for a very long time.
Celeste
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