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Longing - 2/21/2006 9:07:23 PM   
michaelGA


Posts: 1194
Status: offline 		how do you deal with longing for someone that is not achieveable?

i come here every day, and there are some that i see online that i find ineresting and desirable, yet they are either too far away or local but unobtainable due to their preferences or some other reason.

dealing with seeing them online and knowing that they will never answer or they do "occaisionally" respond (describing different people here). it's like being stuck seeing a celebrity on TV and knowing there's no chance in hell to ever talk to them, much less meeting with them or enteracting with them at all.

< Message edited by michaelGA -- 2/21/2006 9:36:33 PM >

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RE: Longing - 2/21/2006 9:19:30 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Ah, Michael.. unrequited like.. it's a toughie, but you can't stop living the life you have or it will pass you by.. hang in there..

::gives ya a freebie cyber hug {{{Michael}}}::

Celeste

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RE: Longing - 2/21/2006 9:19:43 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

how do you deal with longing for someone that is not achieveable?

i cone here every day, and there are some that i see online that i find ... local but unobtainable due to their preferences or some other reason.



Hi michael,

This is an improvement, is it not? I can remember your posts saying there was *nobody* local that interested you. So glass half-full, the pool is widening. And it only takes one.

Yeah, I know. I'm not a glass half-full person either, if truth be told. Just ask me about my broken ankle. lol But it does only take one...

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RE: Longing - 2/21/2006 9:19:43 PM   
PenelopePitstop


Posts: 254
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: UK
Status: offline 		I deal with it like this: Yearning, pessimism, self-pity, anger, voodoo...
ummm maybe that's not QUITE what you wanted to hear.

I can't really confess to 'falling for' anyone who is obviously unavailable because the minute I clock that they are unavailable, I do something else/look somewhere else, they quite simply aren't in my mind long enough to make any kind of impression. There's a lot to be said for not dwelling on things, when you know that you are the master of your own mind and control what lives in it, these things seem easier to manage.

But we all get discouraged. I guess it's natural in a lifestyle that is still perceived as a minority by many. And there are people who knowingly or unknowingly mislead. However, if you lose your faith, then you have lost every chance you ever had.


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RE: Longing - 2/21/2006 9:34:33 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

i cone here every day, and there are some that i see online that i find ineresting and desirable, yet they are either too far away or local but unobtainable due to their preferences or some other reason.


Most of us go through this from time to time. It's a part of life, it means you are alive, so you now have to write a sad country song about it.

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RE: Longing - 2/21/2006 11:19:01 PM   
MstrTiger


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		It is just the nature of things, I dont really see it as something I need to deal with or put myself down about.

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RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 12:22:40 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		You add it to your wish list which is pleasant to look at when you are down, you then move on and seek that which is attainable.

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RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 12:46:10 AM   
Eclecta


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/11/2005
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		I find that most people I would be interested in are far away as well. Must be in the water.

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RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 7:24:40 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

You add it to your wish list which is pleasant to look at when you are down, you then move on and seek that which is attainable.


Master IronBear said it perfectly Michael

To add the old cliche

Just have faith in yourself and all things will fall into place.

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RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 7:32:05 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Thats just one of the downsides to the net. The world is a big place and the net brings us all together. So it stands to reason that many of those we will notice as being compatable are going to be hundreds if not thousands of miles away. C'est la vie.

If there is even one out there you can see that fits the bill then take heart in the fact that your expectations are realistic and at somepoint days, weeks, months or even years from now one WILL turn up that is within reach.

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And it must follow, as the night the day,
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RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 7:52:34 AM   
chainedupnick


Posts: 49
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

However, if you lose your faith, then you have lost every chance you ever had.


Well said!

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RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 7:54:45 AM   
michaelGA


Posts: 1194
Status: offline 		i just wonder why it's so difficult to connect with the locals on this site.

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RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 8:09:37 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

i just wonder why it's so difficult to connect with the locals on this site.

Hang in there Michael.

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RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 8:14:57 AM   
chainedupnick


Posts: 49
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

i just wonder why it's so difficult to connect with the locals on this site.


Well you could live in an uber conservative town *shrug*
That's one of my problems.

They weren't kidding when they said, "Location, location, location." hehe

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RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 8:18:49 AM   
michaelGA


Posts: 1194
Status: offline 		key words "on THIS site"

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RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 8:19:33 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		My theory......

distance and attraction are inversely related.



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RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 8:27:05 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA
key words "on THIS site"


A variation on sods law Michael, if something can be difficult it WILL be difficult.

I've spotted a number of girls who look as if they would be a good match.... 90% of them are on a diffrent continent! C'est la vie.

I keep my eyes open from possibilitys that are more local, they do turn up, eventualy.
Hang in there and never compleatly give up hope.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

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RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 8:28:56 AM   
chainedupnick


Posts: 49
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

key words "on THIS site"


On site or no, if you live in a conservative area, I would think that other BDSMers are going to be hard to find.

That's just my opinion though.. I haven't been around all that much.

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RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 8:39:32 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

longing for someone that is not achieveable?


some psychobabbalists say that this is a mechanism one puts into place to effectively eliminate the possibility of entering into a relationship with anyone--subconsciously, of course--a self-preservation mode--you'll never get hurt that way.

as far as celebrities go, this slave dreamed she met Brad Pitt last night and all he could talk about is how much her ring looked like jen's, it was her "forever" ring and waahwaah--it was amazing how much he looked like a young Val Kilmer...

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RE: Longing - 2/22/2006 9:28:27 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

how do you deal with longing for someone that is not achieveable?

i come here every day, and there are some that i see online that i find ineresting and desirable, yet they are either too far away or local but unobtainable due to their preferences or some other reason.

dealing with seeing them online and knowing that they will never answer or they do "occaisionally" respond (describing different people here). it's like being stuck seeing a celebrity on TV and knowing there's no chance in hell to ever talk to them, much less meeting with them or enteracting with them at all.


Well, I'm assuming you mean that you desire a relationship that is beyond an online friendship. If that is the case, then you may have to sigh and cry a lot and then push yourself to find others closer to you in location or desires.

If however you would be open to just being online friends well, maybe you should attempt to approach some of these people that way. Not to discuss kinky fantasies but to just be friends -- I think some folks might be up to that or interested in that. No promises and it may result in nothing or only a note back and forth every now and then but its something...


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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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