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What do you look for? - 8/7/2009 9:36:03 PM

VanIsleKnight

Posts: 283
Joined: 8/4/2009
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Forgive me for any faux pas I make in my youthful ignorance, but what sort of things catches your eye when you're looking for a male sub? I realize that different Mistresses are looking for different things, since everyone's tastes are different. How important is age? Fitness? Looks? Willingness to test my limits?

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RE: What do you look for? - 8/7/2009 10:01:00 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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I look for those qualities that I would want in anyone else who is in My life. Honesty, integrity, a good sense of humor, etc. From there, I go to protocol and kink compatibility. I tend to like those who are masochists and/or service subs. Unlike some, I don't have specific skills such as cooking a requirement. Each sub brings with them their own strengths. (Though, you may see Me joke around about needing a 'computer sub' or a sub that's specifically good at laundry.)

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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: What do you look for? - 8/7/2009 10:02:03 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
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Interesting!
My top 10: a good sub is:
1. responsive and responsible
2. straight [as in no crossdressers, bi-s, druggies or switches]
3. single and monogamous [I don't share]
4. eager to please AND attentive to detail
5. happy [can't deal with a captain come-down or drama king]
6. healthy [I need someone I don't have to work about when I do . . . things to him]
7. attractive to Me
8. well-read and a good communicator [I need someone amusing in and out of bed]
9. sensuous with an above-average libido [he's got to be a great kisser: I can teach anyone to be great in bed, but it's much harder to teach them how to kiss]
10. he's also got to smell goo oood
Age preferred: 25-39, but not a hard limit.
Major bonus points available for lots of different skills, for being an anal virgin who wants to be Taken, a good dresser, a good writer

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RE: What do you look for? - 8/7/2009 10:05:43 PM

pyroaquatic

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Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
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I should have no problems then... right?
OH besides geographical location. Damn magic carpet! I ordered it from ebay a week ago.

I like how Taken is capitalized.

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You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

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RE: What do you look for? - 8/7/2009 10:10:00 PM

VanIsleKnight

Posts: 283
Joined: 8/4/2009
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Hmm, I suppose I should include such things like wanting my anal virginity in my profile then. xD

Why is bisexuality or being a switch a negative thing though? I'm just as happy serving a couple as I am with a single Mistress, and my switch tendencies only tend to come out if it is desired or required.

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RE: What do you look for? - 8/7/2009 10:20:09 PM

pyroaquatic

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From: Pyroaquatica
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psst... she's greedy AND in change.

Nothing wrong with that.

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You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

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RE: What do you look for? - 8/7/2009 10:23:22 PM

VanIsleKnight

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Joined: 8/4/2009
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Oh, right. *smacks self* I geddit. xD

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RE: What do you look for? - 8/7/2009 10:27:06 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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The bisexuality thing isn't a negative to some of us.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: What do you look for? - 8/7/2009 10:44:03 PM

MaamJay

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Joined: 9/2/2005
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Each Domme tends to have Her own particular list. Bisexuality wouldn't be a problem to Me though a sub would have to understand that Master is straight so don't look to Him to meet some of those needs! I'm less keen on cross-dressers simply because I've been there, done that and have the emotional scars to prove it. While it's not true of ALL CDs, for some, it is all about the fetish, their clothes and looking good and not about their Dominant and that doesn't work for Me. So OP, don't look for general agreement, you won't find it LOL! For some, age, looks and fitness would be deal-breakers, for others, much less so. However, you will find that quite a few will talk about having things in common outside of bdsm, especially for a long term relationship, which is why some limit age groups as they believe only those fairly close to them will share the same interests and "culture". Some will specify "Not so young that they could be My child" etc!

For Me, looks and fitness aren't especially important. They need to be fit enough for Me to be able to do what I want to them, but that doesn't mean they need a 6-pack or to spend hours at the gym every week toning themselves. I do like head hair, especially well-kept long hair, so a bald/shaved headed guy would really have to be exceptional in every other regard for Me to take him on. Age, well Master is 15 years younger than Me, need I say more?? Much younger than that would be pushing it for an ongoing relationship, though I would consider a play session for a newbie young sub as long as there was sufficient chemistry for it to work. I wouldn't preclude a sub My age or older as long as he can wrap his head around a younger Man being Master. So far I've not met one that could do that.

What's way more important are personal qualities such as honesty, integrity, willingness to obey, genuine desire to please, adaptability, desire to explore their own personal boundaries, perseverance, sense of humour. They need to be non-smokers because of My asthma, to like music, pets and share some of our interests in sport, TV, books etc. And at the moment they need to desire to travel round Australia!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: What do you look for? - 8/7/2009 11:38:05 PM

AlexandraLynch

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For me: He's got his life by and large together; he's probably employed, or at least has a career (damn recession), and is managing, by and large (again, damn recession) to keep himself without my assistance.

He is intelligent, witty, well-spoken, and genuinely enjoys being with me and making me happy. I prefer bi men, but that's not absolutely necessary. I do like someone who likes a certain amount of pain, and I tend to be quite attracted to the tall skinny dark guys, but as I married a shorter fat blond one, love comes in all shapes and sizes. (grin) I do require that he be in good enough shape to actually do some physical service, but he doesn't need to be a weightlifter or a marathon runner, just able to carry my groceries in.

I do also require solidly that he be polyamorous or able to handle a relationship in which we are not monogamous, and that he be religiously and politically liberal.

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RE: What do you look for? - 8/7/2009 11:58:24 PM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
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Lol, not greedy: I knows what I likes AND I gets it.
Why? Because. I. Can..
As for no bi's, switches and trannies: it's been discussed to death on different threads: as stated above, TV's tend to be fixated on their own fetish, as well as spend a lot of time and money to look incredibly unattractive to a straight Lifestyle Domme; that so-called subs feel more submissive when crossdressing mocks the Female.
No bi's for health reasons, plus I've never met a monogamous one.
No switches for mental health reasons since I've never met one that wasn't twitchy about obeying, a smartass masochist or a topper from the bottomer,

Remember, your results may vary [meaning, as stated above, every Domme is unique, as is every sub], and remember, you asked!

As for smoking, I love ex-smokers or light smokers: of course, they can't smoke in My presence, but they are so oral: the best suckers! :-D

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