Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle - 8/10/2009 6:22:10 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bdsmlife20

Well thanks everyone for all of the input. I certainly did not mean to offend anyone by relating the lifestyle to porn, so sorry. 
Marc – You got it exactly right:   "Having a ton of sex isn't going to help much. I think you mean to say having a breadth of experiences and combining that with a lot of introspection"   You seem like an interesting guy, someone who would be good to talk about life with...   mnottertail - I would be interested in reading the book by MasterFireMaaM. Do you have any idea where I can find it?


Don't worry there, kiddo.  It takes a lot more than that to offend Me.

MasterFireMaam used to have a link in her signature line for how to purchase books.  Not just hers, btw.  She lists several. 

You should have plenty of options in Chicago for finding munches and clubs.  Do keep one thing in mind.  Some groups and establishments are 21 and up.  Since you're 20, you're going to want to look for those who will take members 18 and up.  You also may be interested in a sig (special interest group) that is called TNG (the next generation).


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to bdsmlife20)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle - 8/10/2009 7:01:53 PM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bdsmlife20

Well thanks everyone for all of the input. I certainly did not mean to offend anyone by relating the lifestyle to porn, so sorry. 
Marc – You got it exactly right:   "Having a ton of sex isn't going to help much. I think you mean to say having a breadth of experiences and combining that with a lot of introspection"   You seem like an interesting guy, someone who would be good to talk about life with...


Thank you.

And please, no offense taken about the adult movies comment. There is actually some good videography here and there that lets the viewer take a peek into real-life situations and events. In that sense it's more like cropumentary than actual "porn". A few minutes of seeing footage like that can be inspiring for enquiring minds who want to get a glimpse. On the flipside, that's not to say the acts portrayed in "hardcore" adult entertainment are purely fictional—it's just that they are cherry picked, glossed up and presented on stage to entertain, not enlighten—with no context or back story about the psychological dynamics or reality present in even a semi-serious D/s relationship.

It's not very erotic to focus upon a domestic servant girl doing several loads of laundry over the course of a day, or a man scrubbing floors like a chamber maid while Mistress enjoys a day of shopping downtown. There's likewise a lot of things you just can't show in traditional adult entertainment due to real life being too extreme or controversial. Some people tend to forget that, too.


(in reply to bdsmlife20)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle - 8/10/2009 7:15:04 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		At least in my experience, there's been a pretty tight correlation between things that press my buttons visually and the things which I actually like to do. For instance, images of girls kneeling in submissive poses, collars, maybe even some light bondage... all very erotic for me and yes, works for me in real life too. Images of SM activities just bounce right off me... which is pretty much what happened when I tried it in real life... *yawn*

quote:

Ladypact foolishly left me the opening by saying...
Actually, it's kind of insulting that anyone would insinuate that the way I live My life would resemble some trashy porn video.

... says the woman dressed in black leather posing in front of the saint andrews cross...

*chuckles* Sorry, I just couldn't resist that one.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to bdsmlife20)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle - 8/10/2009 8:32:52 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Yeah, keep chuckling, Jeff.  That S/m might get to be more appealing at some point.  If you ever felt like bottoming. 

Oh, and that's no where near the pics of Mine that resemble porn.  There are waaaaayyyyy better shots.


< Message edited by LadyPact -- 8/10/2009 8:33:47 PM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle - 8/10/2009 9:09:43 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		*laughs* You know, of course, that the difference between you and I is that I am sweet and pure and virtuous while you are a kinky, deviant.

Oh wait... is that my wife wearig a leash and kneeling in my photo? Damn, OK. Obviously it's a female thing then since clearly my wife is also kinky and deviant. I, however, retain my shining virtue since I'm just standing there in the shot.


< Message edited by leadership527 -- 8/10/2009 9:11:23 PM >

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle - 8/10/2009 9:13:03 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I think I'll get an outside opinion on that sweet and innocent part.

At least we have the sense of humor in common.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle - 8/11/2009 1:43:56 AM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bdsmlife20

I guess the only real way is to try it.

But what about the theory of it?

I like to watch all sorts of bondage pornos. I like the latex ect, bondage, ect. but does this mean you really want to be involved in the lifestyle, or do you merely enjoy watching? At the risk of being at least a partial voyer (porn is voyerism), which I feel is unavoidable in todays culture, how can you tell if you enjoy watching the act or being involved?

I guess the real thing is that you need to have a ton of sex in order to figure out what your true desries are.




The only thing you will learn from having excessive amounts of sex is ultimately how spirituality unfulfilled you will turn out to be



_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to bdsmlife20)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle - 8/11/2009 8:43:57 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

The only thing you will learn from having excessive amounts of sex is ultimately how spirituality unfulfilled you will turn out to be

Perhaps. All the sex in my life has correlation to someone who's metaphysical philosophies have nothing to do with "spirituality".

But the sex has been plenty worth it...




_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle - 8/11/2009 11:06:32 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		I'd suggest trying a bit of both, and seeing what you actually enjoy experiencing. You may discover that you're a switch, or you may find that you're strongly drawn to one side or the other. Keep an open mind, and have fun exploring! Even once you do decide your BDSM orientation, you may find that some things are hot to fantasise about, but not to actually *do*.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle - 8/11/2009 11:31:15 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

The only thing you will learn from having excessive amounts of sex is ultimately how spirituality unfulfilled you will turn out to be

Perhaps. All the sex in my life has correlation to someone who's metaphysical philosophies have nothing to do with "spirituality".

But the sex has been plenty worth it...





Spoken like a true male.  There are plenty of females out there who would follow Trisha Yearwood's comment.....


I shaved My legs for this?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle - 8/11/2009 11:44:20 PM   
TurboJugend


Posts: 481
Joined: 6/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

But what about the theory of it?


May I ask why you think it is important to know? What will the answer mean to you?

btw...I have no clue what to answer. Jsut that is might be the feelings inside you. If you feel inside the lifestyle, you propably are....no matter what others say.

< Message edited by TurboJugend -- 8/11/2009 11:45:17 PM >

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle - 8/12/2009 3:43:52 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I shaved My legs for this?

LOL that was not Tricia Yearwood...it was Deana Carter who did that song

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle - 8/12/2009 3:50:11 AM   
HumiliatePorky


Posts: 18
Joined: 1/13/2009
Status: offline 		You've gotten many wonderful peices of advice, my best advice to give you is read thoroughly as suggested previously, but also experiment, find out what you are into, how you feel mentally...also watch yourself to see how you mentally react, it can help you find out what you desire for yourself. Some times the side is easier to find, many confuse submitting or dominating with what turns you on rather than how living through the lifestyle may be.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle - 8/12/2009 9:24:02 AM   
NBCNCO


Posts: 18
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		I have found that most (not quite all, though!) people on here are very understanding and while they are usually quick to point out a misstep, they are not easily offended. I don't think you'll easily put anyone off since you're clearly seeking to better understand yourself and this lifestyle. You don't really need any help from anyone who's so impatient he can't take the time to set you straight.

I have met a bunch of great people on here and learned TONS about BDSM and about what it is that I seek from the lifestyle, and in just a few days. I've also been told that I'm a poseur, that I'm not dominant, that I'm a vanilla trying to pass myself off as a Dom. Yes, I'm new to what I refer to as BDSM, but I am not new to the concept of having a lifestyle. I've been a lot of things in three and a half decades. A soldier, a college student, a teenager, a working professional, a lover, a young bachelor living on his own. Every time, I had to start out as someone new to the lifestyle. Even if you've been dominating women for forty years, you still have to acknowledge that at some point in your life you were entirely dependent on a woman to be fed and kept clean.

So I think that for a while, you won't know. And you won't know what the words, "the lifestyle" mean to you. You may come with certain ideas about what you think defines you, and discard all of them after you've had enough experience to make that call. As you probably agree now, it's not experience in sex, but experience as a Dom, or a Sub, or whatever you want to call yourself. You probably have enough sense not to, but just in case it's reassuring to hear it, don't let anyone else tell you who you are. You are the only one who can answer that.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle - 8/12/2009 9:32:49 AM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I shaved My legs for this?


LOL that was not Tricia Yearwood...it was Deana Carter who did that song


Either way, it's very funny!! 

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle - 8/12/2009 9:33:02 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

I shaved My legs for this?

LOL that was not Tricia Yearwood...it was Deana Carter who did that song


Thank you, IrishMist.  I darn near missed this comment.  I stand corrected.  I do have to say though, I know there are a lot of females who have had that song titled pop into their minds once or twice.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 36
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: How to know if you are really into the llifestyle Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078