RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (Full Version)

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pyroaquatic -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/8/2009 4:58:36 PM)

Giving my life to another is a tribute.

This thread is huge. Whales got nuthin' on this!

*throws two cents into the tribute jar*



ShaktiSama -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/8/2009 5:17:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

Incorrect. The reality is you said the only power available to women is sexual power, which I disputed.


Actually, the statement I made began with the word "Stereotypically", and continued by stating the stereotype, as well as the economic situation of the majority of women relative to the majority of men.  The purpose of bringing these factors up is to suggest a possible explanation for why there is ongoing friction in our community between men and women, specifically, over money.

The fact that you have descended so far into madness that you are now actually lecturing two female dominant feminists with significant professional careers about how SEXIST and marginalizing of WOMEN we are because we dare to discuss the realities that women and girls in society at large are up against?  Pretty much says all that needs to be said about your attitude, Sea.  I'm sorry, but I'm not going to continue this exchange.  I've explained the points I had to make many times, and in many ways.  The only people who don't understand are those who willfully refuse to understand; repeating myself further is not going to help.



ShaktiSama -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/8/2009 5:22:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

You assume here that people see physical intimacy the same as they do money, and I'm not so sure that's a very common perception, notwithstanding your advocacy for this position. To me, its apples and oranges. Its kind of like comparing a job (where you get paid) to a hobby (which you practice out of personal interest.)


Some people obviously are able to connect physical intimacy with money, in the same way that many submissive men connect physical intimacy with footwear, or gender-inappropriate clothing, or age-inappropriate clothing and behavior, etc..  They call them "fetishes" for a reason, I'm afraid.  The juxtaposition of sexual arousal with something that in the vanilla world is NOT sexually charged is pretty common in this community.

As for "advocating a position"--I am not a financial player myself.  I simply don't think it is a kink or behavior that is substantially worse or less moral than any other power exchange.  ALL d/s activities are dangerous and even potentially deadly in the hands of an abuser.



XYisInferior -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/8/2009 6:47:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
b) the fact that the proportion of femdoms to submales is so skewed, as well as a bunch of other things. 



I tend to believe the proportion isn't as skewed as many may think. Genuinely submissive men are rare; I think many dominant Females can attest to that. Subtract the half-balding middle-aged masochists and fetishists and young studs looking for what is essentially a booty call in leather and you have a much narrower set of men standing.



VeryMercurial -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/8/2009 8:45:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: XYisInferior


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
b) the fact that the proportion of femdoms to submales is so skewed, as well as a bunch of other things. 



I tend to believe the proportion isn't as skewed as many may think. Genuinely submissive men are rare; I think many dominant Females can attest to that. Subtract the half-balding middle-aged masochists and fetishists and young studs looking for what is essentially a booty call in leather and you have a much narrower set of men standing.



I agree with this statement, I will even add that when you subtract the other categories there is a very, very tiny set of men standing.



pyroaquatic -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/8/2009 9:02:04 PM)

I agree. I feel like a freaking GEM!!!!

*sparkles*

In any instance... I CAN bend over backwards.



undergroundsea -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/8/2009 9:23:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama
Actually, the statement I made began with the word "Stereotypically", and continued by stating the stereotype, as well as the economic situation of the majority of women relative to the majority of men.  The purpose of bringing these factors up is to suggest a possible explanation for why there is ongoing friction in our community between men and women, specifically, over money.


Fair enough. I am sorry for interpreting your words differently and will continue to reflect on the points you raised.

Cheers,

Sea



MsStarlett -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/9/2009 4:06:17 AM)

Just FYI, I believe I heard one of those sound bites going by the news yesterday that the American workforce has now tipped.  There are more women working than men.  No details.  But it may start pushing that stereotype of the housewife right out the window.  You now have more hard working single moms out there trying to keep house and home together for their kids which pushes the stereotype of the no good, lazy, drunken bum/gangstah/jailbird up a notch.

Which brings us all back to no Domme wants to support a lazy, good for nothing sub.  Contribute something to the relationship or hit the road.

Pyro - 'Giving your life' to someone sounds all high and mighty.... but if your life consists of sitting in the couch watching movies on my cable, playing video games on my system or surfing the net on my computer, it's worthless.  If you're home keeping my place clean, food on the table and running errands - basically playing 'house husband' - THAT is contributing!  But my youngest is almost grown, so I'd expect you to have at least a part time job that brings in some grocery money.



PeonForHer -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/9/2009 4:43:21 AM)

Are you saying that Pyro is a 'no good, lazy, drunken bum/gangstah/jailbird', Ms S?  I must say, he looks a bit on the thin side to qualify.  On the other hand, he does look as though he might occasionally say things like "You dirty brother, you killed my rat" etc. [;)]



XYisInferior -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/9/2009 6:22:30 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryMercurial

quote:

ORIGINAL: XYisInferior


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
b) the fact that the proportion of femdoms to submales is so skewed, as well as a bunch of other things. 



I tend to believe the proportion isn't as skewed as many may think. Genuinely submissive men are rare; I think many dominant Females can attest to that. Subtract the half-balding middle-aged masochists and fetishists and young studs looking for what is essentially a booty call in leather and you have a much narrower set of men standing.



I agree with this statement, I will even add that when you subtract the other categories there is a very, very tiny set of men standing.


Very true. I didn't want to get too deep into the "other categories", lest we start another chain of diatribes. [:D]



pyroaquatic -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/9/2009 7:01:24 AM)

Giving my Life to someone... in my opinion....

is telling me when, where, and how.

What to do.

Making sure things are tidy. Being as Productive, Economical, and Efficient as Possible. I have not played an actual video game system in a while. I do surf the net, and chat on here.

Do this, this, and this. This will make you happy and me happy.

And go out to sing and beatbox on Wednesdays.

So by giving you my Life it is your to do whatever you wish with it. My song and work is yours.


-----

"Your good kid, real good. But as long as I am in town you'll always be second best... see?"

Mwur! MWUUR!!! Now I have some food to serve and some dishes to clean thereafter... so.... :P



Andalusite -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/9/2009 9:11:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic
In any instance... I CAN bend over backwards

Can you do backbend-handstand kickovers? I need someone spotting me, but they're a lot of fun!

Peon, I don't think Starlett is accusing him of anything of the sort, just pointing out that she wants a man who can contribute to the household, who can work in or out of the home, not a pet she has to take care of.



pyroaquatic -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/9/2009 10:08:12 AM)

I have never heard of a backbend-handstand kick over. I just do things and forgo the labels. I can imagine what it consists of. Practice makes perfect.



LaTigresse -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/9/2009 11:02:40 AM)

The very idea makes me want to put my chiropractor on speed dial.

This from a woman that has been doing gymnastics on horseback the last week........



ElanSubdued -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/9/2009 4:54:28 PM)

Everyone,

quote:

PeonForHer:
b) the fact that the proportion of femdoms to submales is so skewed, as well as a bunch of other things.

XYisInferior:
I tend to believe the proportion isn't as skewed as many may think.  Genuinely submissive men are rare;  I think many dominant Females can attest to that.  Subtract the half-balding, middle-aged masochists and fetishists, and young studs looking for what is essentially a booty call in leather and you have a much narrower set of men standing.

VeryMercurial:
I agree with this statement, I will even add that when you subtract the other categories there is a very, very tiny set of men standing.


I'm not sure I find this style of labeling productive or helpful.  Regardless of which side of the gender equation you look from, the potential is there for misguided hubris and elitism.

Finding a compatible partner is difficult for anyone, be they vanilla or kinky.  As for filtering statements about submissive men, one could easily make similar statements about any, kinky demographic.  Example: the domineering dominant who really isn't dominant at all.  There are certainly plenty of these and one might be tempted to conclude that actual dominants are few and far between.  Do you see my point?  What's the value in carrying around this kind of mentality?  It's certainly unattractive to your target audience.

When intellectual attraction, pheromones, physical attraction, geographic issues, economic concerns, social backgrounds and differences, religious backgrounds and differences, sexual desires, educational goals, career goals, life goals, concerns regarding children, and many other factors all come together and gel, relationships are often magical.  We humans have complicated mating and partnering rituals.  Despite this and all the potential mismatches, I meet many people whose company is an absolute joy, pleasure, and privilege to experience and share.  Carry this kind of mindset and your view changes considerably.

Ironically, it seems a significant hurdle kinksters must sometimes overcome is a mindset focused on roles (dominants, switches, submissives, slaves, etc.) instead of people.  Given a people-focused instead of role-focused perspective, it's easier not to be marginalized and overcome by the masses (especially in a communications medium like Collar Me).  True enough, the very nature of a forum such as "Ask A Mistress" tends to place BDSM roles at the forefront of each participant's mind.  But, that's easy to counteract.

I often see submissives asking how to approach dominants or, conversely, dominants asking for advice on showing affection to submissives without losing the "dominant mystique".  Truth be told, I've yet to meet anyone who doesn't appreciate being approached with courtesy, a sense of humour, intelligence, friendliness, empathy, and respect.  This is a great starting point for anyone, regardless of gender and role, and it's a wonderful continuation point too.

Alright.  I've used up my self-allotted posting time for today.  I'm off. :-)

Elan.



PeonForHer -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/9/2009 5:22:28 PM)

I'm not sure I find this style of labeling productive or helpful.  Regardless of which side of the gender equation you look from, the potential is there for misguided hubris and elitism.
 
Finding a compatible partner is difficult for anyone, be they vanilla or kinky.  As for filtering statements about submissive men, one could easily make similar statements about any, kinky demographic.  Example: the domineering dominant who really isn't dominant at all. 
 
Exactly - we have to filter out those dominants that aren't really tall enough to be true dominants, for instance.  (Oooooonly joking.)  

Pfft.  A true sub is one who'll do anything his Mistress requires.  Thus, if she'll enjoy the thought of him dying, he'll jump right to it.  I wouldn't do that, therefore I'm not a true sub. 

OK, a facetious comment - but, really, the 'I'm a truer sub/domme than though' competitions are so utterly pointless. 




Lockit -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/9/2009 5:29:32 PM)

I know I don't speak for all the short dominant women... but... you are such a brat Peon! To point out short dominant's... and use us for a joke! Wow!

You's in trouble now! Don'tcha know that dynomite comes in short packages? (lil smiley face dominant with whip!  Cause I can't get the smilies to come up)



NoreenSwan -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/9/2009 5:35:35 PM)

arrrrrahhhhhhhhh.!!!!!! Oh man, look, mostly all the men whom hit that profile button category "submissive" should not do it. They are NOT a submissive and they don't want to surrender unless it's all fun and games kink play.

Nothing wrong with that but truth is they're really bottoms looking to have a good ole time with a woman "domme" slaving over their body doing all sorts of things with ropes, cuffs, electro play, etc. Just ask Princess peon. [:D] Nothing wrong with this -these "submissives" really want an equal vanilla relationship but they want it with a kinky partner. A domme woman isn't looking to be an equal. She wants to be served. Bottoms don't want this.

I need a Hoegaarden.

^^^This is just a dang hoot...seriously tho I get the feeling you're joking, right. Hehe. Apparently you must be kidding elan. Seriously. Firstly, it's a mislabel. Intentional I believe for most because they know the word Bottom won't appeal to a domme as much as "subby" does. Most of the men who say they are "subs" ARE NOT SUBS. Nothing wrong with that but they are mislabeling themselves.

Bottoms would rather label themselfs as "sub" because they know a domme will look right past the profiles that say "Im a bottom".

Great looking as you probably are, you aren't a domme. You're a switch. How would you know what's out there? Unless you've had in box filled with a bunch of wankers calling themselves "sub" you don't really have the authority to say.

Secondly, why do you think so many subbys are without a female domme? Just goes to show female dommes aren't into filling " subs" sexual desires. A dom woman isn't about looking for that kind of man. All the men who are into serving giving and all that submissive stuff are taken. Ultimately 9 out of 10 "subs" are bottoms who want kink play. Eh, don't even try to act like that's that not true. If you do, you're delusional. [8D] teehee.



PeonForHer -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/9/2009 5:45:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I know I don't speak for all the short dominant women... but... you are such a brat Peon! To point out short dominant's... and use us for a joke! Wow!

You's in trouble now! Don'tcha know that dynomite comes in short packages? (lil smiley face dominant with whip!  Cause I can't get the smilies to come up)


Lockit, Lockit . . . please sheathe that claymore!  I don't want to side-track Elan's points because I think they go to a debate that's crucial.  (Especially so for me, right now.)  Just to say that the height of a dominant means nothing to me.  There's even a special buzz in being dominated by a tiny woman.  Think Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman - what submale wouldn't?  Nah.  Forget it!



Lockit -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/9/2009 5:47:38 PM)

You know Noreen... I personally find it offensive that you continue to call Peon... princess peon. And I am not one of his groupies. I know him and I see him. He is who he is and that is that. I consider him a friend.

There has been a lot of bullshit on this thread... it's okay to disagree but stop with the names already.



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