Turning a hooker into a housewife (Full Version)

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Alphascendant -> Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/12/2009 8:48:03 PM)

The woman I almost married used to be a hooker. Talk about devine intervention.... Turns out she is back to her old ways, if she ever really quit at all....... Unfortunately she uses this website to rub it in my face. She takes pride in being an utter slut, and used to criticize me for treating her any less than a perfect angel. Has anybody else here ever married a hooker, or are there any ex-pro's that gave it up for a family life? What difficulties arose, if any?



VanityFix -> RE: Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/12/2009 11:08:06 PM)

 i highly doubt truth in this, iv known a few men and women who have worked in prostitution and it is not a glamorous industry, generally treated like garbage by the general population i doubt your girlfreind is bragging about such things online,
i dont think people give it up as some wonderful thing they do, its a gritty horrible thing that some people turn to when they cant pay the bills or pay for a habit, my suggestion if any of this is real is to stop using terms like hooker, slut and "ex-pro" and educate yourself on what the sex trade is really like.



DavanKael -> RE: Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/12/2009 11:11:04 PM)

Just the title alone strikes me as somewhat misogynistic.  OP, have you looked in the mirror at where your responsibilities may lie as well as illuminating where her faults are? 
  Davan



Alphascendant -> RE: Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/13/2009 12:52:01 AM)

The title may have been a poor choice of words, but it is also a well known cliche', reflective of the question that was put forth. It was not my intention to berate the "working people," only to question if anybody had experience with that type of situation. I actually have more respect for the person that admittedly outright does it for money, rather than the gold diggers who date others for precisely the same reason. Why stop at that? Isn't "full time slave" another way of saying that somebody wants to be taken care of in every way? If I could afford to keep a woman chained in seclusion 24/7, I might, but would be more inclined to want her chained to me 24/7, only because there would not ever be anybody that made me happier to be with. I spend a great deal of effort constantly trying to improve myself, being human also precludes me to making mistakes. If I am to set such high standards for myself, it's common sense that I would want my slave to abide by those same standards, after all, she would be part of me.


I once had a certain girlfriend for 4 1/2 years, she made over a million dollars a year. During one certain argument, she said that she "owned" me. She would have taken care of me for the rest of my life if my choice had been to kiss her ass, but money can't buy happiness, and no woman, or man, is going to run my life. I am not afraid to sleep in the ditch, or the bushes because of a lack of a home. I am not worried about whether I will eat today, or even tomorrow for that matter. Life goes on. I play this little charade of society, having a job, paying bills, because of wanting to be relevant, seemingly with many talents that can be of a benefit to others instead of moving way out in the woods where it often seems I belong. Others have asked me to write specific songs. I am currently working on illustrating a childrens' book with my newest composition, a children's song with the message that we can be whatever we want to be and not letting others tell us otherwise. My cousin just bought a printing press, so we can print and bind the books without going through a publisher. If I can contribute to children growing up with a healthy, positive attitude, what sense does hiding out in the woods make?

I am sure every man out there will agree, that women bitch a lot. Does that make us misogynists because we choose not to listen to it? So, say my standards are so high and a woman comes along pretending to fit within those standards, only to turn out not having had any intentions to do so to begin with? If my standards are set so high that another can not meet them, being human has on occasion caused me to lower my standards in return for various levels of intimacy, whether under the guise of a committed relationship, or just a random fuck. I have not ever gotten off on hurting others, whether physically or emotionally, and whenever that has happened it was because someone else made the first move. So that being said, considering the overall theme of this website, I probably don't fit in very well, thus becoming a target. I like to make people happy. If that includes giving a spanking, it is not the spanking that thrills me, it is the result of that person being happy which makes it worthwhile. If I make a homemade leather corset to suspend a woman with, it is not the suspension that makes me happy, but being creative enough to make the corset instead of shopping for one.


So it's not polite to call them hookers, prostitutes, pro's, or working girls? What is the proper definition? Sex trade employee? If we are paying an internet bill to enable us to log into a website looking for any type of of relationship that might result with sex, doesn't that make us all members of the sex trade? After all, we are paying money looking for "love."

I asked if anybody had any experience with trying to settle down to a somewhat normal, to the outside eye, life with a former member of the sex trade using a cliche'. Thus far, it doesn't look to promising.



LillyoftheVally -> RE: Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/13/2009 1:46:39 AM)

My close friend is really lucky, she works as an escort both in a vanilla and bdsm context, yet her husband doesn't think shes a whore and she didn't have to give up anything to prove she loved him. Amazing some people.



VanityFix -> RE: Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/13/2009 2:23:33 AM)

if i had a girlfreind of 4 1/2 years making half a million a year as an escort i personally would pucker up.. [8|]

"...seemingly with many talents that can be of a benefit to others instead of moving way out in the woods where it often seems I belong. Others have asked me to write specific songs. I am currently working on illustrating a childrens' book with my newest composition, a children's song with the message that we can be whatever we want to be and not letting others tell us otherwise. My cousin just bought a printing press, so we can print and bind the books without going through a publisher. If I can contribute to children growing up with a healthy, positive attitude, what sense does hiding out in the woods make?"

wait.. what? uhh nevermind, you win this one...

"I am sure every man out there will agree, that women bitch a lot"

not really, depends on the woman, i typically find some men bitch far more, ever date a dude? good god they never shut up..

"If we are paying an internet bill to enable us to log into a website looking for any type of of relationship that might result with sex, doesn't that make us all members of the sex trade? After all, we are paying money looking for "love." "

is this how you determined that the girlfreind was a hooker? i suggest just going to your local police station and asking what counts as prostitution..






FullCircle -> RE: Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/13/2009 3:30:32 AM)

I am a bit disappointed because I thought this thread was going to be a step by step guide, grrr trading descriptions act.



Termyn8or -> RE: Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/13/2009 3:36:40 AM)

I only gave this a quickie glance. The short answer is, if she wants to change her lifestyle and likes the old wood picket fence (shame on you for thinking that) then she may be ready. If she still wants to run game either play with her or get rid of her. It's really that simple.

Sorry if I am not on the mark, it is late and I couldn't read every word of the thread, but tis true, people will not change until they are good and ready.

T



purepleasure -> RE: Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/13/2009 3:41:14 AM)

If her actions are so upsetting to you, be thankful you didn't actually end up married to the slut.

Though, I'm sure some of the men and women here would love to have such a slut on their agenda.



littlewonder -> RE: Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/13/2009 3:43:33 AM)

Wow..I couldn't even finish your tirade. There are so many misogynistic statements and anger filling your words that I can't imagine where to even begin and I don't have time to pick it apart.

It seems you're still extremely bitter and hurt making you very angry at the moment. It seems to me that you still haven't moved on from her and imo if you're finding it very difficult to do so you may want to try speaking to someone such as a spiritual counselor or therapist.

Good luck to you.



Alphascendant -> RE: Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/13/2009 3:47:10 AM)

Thank you Vanity and Lily, your responses have provoked a bit more insight, unfortunately for those who wish to suffer reading such.

First of all, the remark about the internet bill was was not how the specific determination was made, it was comparing those who pay for the pursuit of sex in a certain manner to those that pay for the pursuit of sex in a different manner, and you are correct, they are judged differently in a court of law. No, I have not ever dated a dude and do not plan on doing so. I have not heard many men complain about my manner of survival. Maybe I just haven't dated the right woman, if there is such a person, who can accept my manner, instead of somehow trying to improve me to her specifications. I suppose I haven't heard a lot of bitchy men because that demeanor pushes me in the other direction, although I do have a very old friend that does bitch a lot, and what do us men say he sounds like? Maybe the appropriate word is whine.

Whine, whine, whine. This has been a very eventful evening. I have been accused of certain actions, but those accusations are twisted with lies while omitting certain important details from the actual chain of events, all the while claiming "poor innocent me."

If I fell in love with a escort who made it very clear what she did for a living, I would have no complaints. The defintions of whore and escort are unidentical. Note that the term "whore" was indeed missing from my original post. But for someone to state that they were no longer involved in that business and had grown far beyond doing that as well as other types of behavior not widely accepted by the masses, only to discover them bragging about how much fun it was and still is was rather unnerving. Much of my respect for her was built around her lies, and no, this is not the woman of 4 1/2 years, she was not an escort. She spent a lot of money on traveling and she liked having me with her. Actually, I did not learn of her finances for quite some time, that did not interest me, as I did my best to spend my own money to entertain her, even feeling a bit insecure for not being able to continue that pace. I am old fashioned in that aspect, enjoying being able to show my woman a good time. I did indeed save her several thousands of dollars by maintaining and remodeling several of her rental and retail properties and came up with a few thousand dollars when she got caught on some taxes. Only when sensing that it was coming to an end did I begin to keep track of my time. After working over 350 nhours in a month trying to get a new retail space ready, and then hearing "What have you done for me lately?" when all I wanted was a few moments to work on my bike, did I realize it was finished. As it turned out, she was used to paying her lover's expenses, and she enjoyed the power over them as they all seemed to crawl back to her when they needed money.


What about children? I wonder how many escorts or former escorts would want their children following the same path? Of course there will be the Jerry Springer side shows of mother-daughter tag teams, but I doubt they are the majority. No matter what type of behavior, most can be forgiven or accepted, but lies only can go so far until somebody feels deeply betrayed, and after such betrayals, especially while on a continuing basis, it becomes much more difficult to trust anybody, even as far as having me wonder how my mother pulled our family through such tough times.

So, say I publish this children's book and it makes a lot of money as it inspires children to think for themselves. If somebody comes along with a bunch of dirt on me, does that negate from the accomplishment? Yes, there is someone out there that will spread dirt on me because she has been doing it from day one and boo hoos when the tables are turned. I swore I'd not ever turn my back on her, now I know why. I have made some bad decisions, but I am not a trained specialist, expert in the field of mental illness, and when confronted with certain difficult situations I simply did what those situations called for to the best of my ability at those specific times.

So if I am indeed such a rotten person, do I say fuck the children's book, not wanting any child that has been inspired to creative thinking by the said publication to someday be exposed to the wrong I have done because somebody else has an axe to grind? No, the books will be published, with a c.d. narrating the song and any money collected will be on a donation basis only to cover more printings and distribution. I am not about money, but it's either live in this society, or move back out to the woods and not be heard from again and no more children's songs. I have some very obscene and vulgar songs as well. I think I'll post one over in creative writings.



LillyoftheVally -> RE: Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/13/2009 5:39:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Alphascendant

If I fell in love with a escort who made it very clear what she did for a living, I would have no complaints.


Really? Well that is fair enough, however.


quote:


The defintions of whore and escort are unidentical. Note that the term "whore" was indeed missing from my original post.


quote:


utter slut


Sorry you are right, so are escort and slut identical?

quote:


But for someone to state that they were no longer involved in that business and had grown far beyond doing that as well as other types of behavior not widely accepted by the masses,


I am starting to think that you got lost on your way to another site actually


quote:


What about children? I wonder how many escorts or former escorts would want their children following the same path?


No offense but for many escorts they actually ENJOY their job, I know its whatever emotive name you want to call it but actually who are you to say whether it is a valid path? I know many escorts and all of them love their jobs and have recommended it to me.

quote:


Of course there will be the Jerry Springer side shows of mother-daughter tag teams,


I think this woman had a lucky escape




DarkSteven -> RE: Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/13/2009 5:44:28 AM)

I once dated someone who has been forced into prostitution at an early age.  It took a while, but a LOT of resentment towards men finally bubbled to the surface.  Guess who got it?

I can't imagine how someone would go through prostitution and have their views of men and sex come out healthy.



LillyoftheVally -> RE: Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/13/2009 5:46:22 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I can't imagine how someone would go through prostitution and have their views of men and sex come out healthy.



[sm=Groaner.gif]



DarkSteven -> RE: Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/13/2009 5:50:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I can't imagine how someone would go through prostitution and have their views of men and sex come out healthy.



[sm=Groaner.gif]


Perhaps I should have added, "for a few months or more"?



Apocalypso -> RE: Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/13/2009 5:54:44 AM)

Alpha.  The thing you need to look at is not issues of prostitiution.  The issue you need to resolve is why you keep ending up with women you can't trust.  And how you're going to stop doing so. 

At the moment, I have a feeling you're so angry with women in general, that you're actually going to push away any that don't lie and manipulate you.



sophia37 -> RE: Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/13/2009 7:29:51 AM)

I simply see this poster as being frustrated with the replies he's getting. He asked if anyone had been with a former sex worker and what problems arose. All he's getting here in reply for the most part is, that he's the problem.

I'm sorry I cant write the answer or give some insights that you are looking for. I think this site would be fine for you, since you asked about that as well. Give it another chance.



LillyoftheVally -> RE: Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/13/2009 7:35:44 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sophia37

I simply see this poster as being frustrated with the replies he's getting. He asked if anyone had been with a former sex worker and what problems arose. All he's getting here in reply for the most part is, that he's the problem.



The biggest problem with working in the sex industry is the same as the biggest problem with being involved in BDSM or being young or being old or being black or being white or being a human being, people make terrible generalisations about who you must be because they do not know and then insult you/degrade you.

I do not believe that is anywhere close to what the OP was asking, indeed I do not believe he was asking a question just having a rant and blaming the fact that his relationship broke down on a static social characteristic.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/13/2009 7:44:33 AM)

quote:

...Isn't "full time slave" another way of saying that somebody wants to be taken care of in every way?...


it might be for some, but not for everyone.
 
for some folks, "full time slave" means they are willing to commit to following the direction of their Master/Owner, full time.  it does not necessarily imply that the slave desires to be taken care of in every way by the Master/Owner.



LaTigresse -> RE: Turning a hooker into a housewife (8/13/2009 7:46:48 AM)

Let me start off by saying that a former lover of mine is currently a prostitute. She wasn't when I first met her (she was a college girl then) but I won't boor everyone with the details and transition.

The reality is that she has ALWAYS been promiscuous. She was from the day I met her. In fact, if she were not, I may have continued thinking I was a frigid non-sexual, woman. She saw me, wanted me, and pounced. That was approx. 10 years ago.

The years between then and now involved a horribly rocky relationship. Partially due to her looser sexual morality and my uptight midwestern mindset, and partially due to a whole lot of other issues.

The crux of the matter is that the very thing that brought us together, was something I wanted to change about her. We are funny creatures, we humans. We meet a potential mate, see a few qualities that we fall madly for, ignore those we don't like, or assume that somehow, they will fade away. We may even be attracted by the very qualities we end up being repulsed by.

I fully own my part is the demise of our romantic relationship. I expected her to change her personality to make me happy while expecting her to accept me for who I was. The success of a relationship depends upon allowing the other person to BE exactly who they are and loving them the way they are. Yes, they may mature and change, to some degree, over time, but to expect it and hinge your relationship on it, is foolish.

You hooked up with a whore, to expect her to miraculously turn into June Cleaver was YOUR mistake, not hers.

Live and learn.

My ex and I are still the best of friends. We love one another, enjoy one another's company tremendously. The success of our long term relationship is due to the fact that we accept one another for exactly who we are, the good the bad and the ugly. We have no unrealistic expectations of one another. I know that if we were to ever entertain the idea of a relationship more than we have now, she would never be monogamous. She knows that I am a bossy bitch and would have to be in control of how, who, what, when. It's not as simple as that.

As I said before, lots of other issues. But we are realistic. Neither of us is going to magically change the core of who we are, just because we continue to love one another.



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