I am completely new to this whole poly thing. So take what I say in that light... a grain of salt.. My "story" is pretty much already out there.. so I'll just try to stick to my thoughts/emotions on entering into a Poly relationship.
i have been in the lifestyle for a little over a year now. Prior to finding this lifestyle, i was married for 10 years in a very vanilla realationship. When i just brought up the idea of a threesome i got the look of shock..LOL!! i was taught that you cannot love one person and be capable of being with others. i was told that if you could be with another person YOU WERE NOT IN LOVE. So i have always had it in my head to some extent that people aren't capable of loving more than one person. This feeling has changed alot over the past year because i have allowed myself to open my mind to new experiences.
I was raised on and told the same gibberish. Yet feelings inside me have proved otherwise. Oddly enough, I was also raised that the more love you give the more you will recieve.
It took me a while to reconcile my former beliefs to my feelings, and in many ways I'm still working out the kinks so to speak. Altering a life long perspective isn't easy and it does take time to adjust.
When talking to others from this site, i get a feeling like i'm doing something WRONG but at the same time a relief that in my realtionship its OKAY by my Master. It sometimes just feels very weird. i say to myself "wow, i'm flirting with another or getting to know another and thats okay". i'm very excited with the thought that maybe i'll be sharing my life with another. At the same time i'm very scared because i don't know what to expect. i don't know what emotions i will go through, what challenges will arise between myself and Master and the three of us.
I was always told it was wrong, and up until about a year ago I believed it was wrong. Pretty much everyone I know outside this lifestyle will think its wrong, and a few I know in this lifestyle think its wrong. I learned long ago that others opinions amount to a hill a beans, just sometimes I forget. People are always quick to judge things they don't understand. I hate to admit it, but a couple years ago.. I was one of them. For me, I think it was mostly just anger that other people were able to live like that and I was always taught it wasn't allowed. Much like the kid that picks on another kid because they have something the other wanted but never got. I just never realized til now that it was an option for me or that I wanted it at all.
I still feel weird about it, and I'm hoping that goes away as the newness wears off and we all get into a groove so to speak. Fears are still there, we just talk about them openly now and address them.
i guess my question is this : For all of you who are poly and had been in a realtionship with three or more for THE FIRST TIME, what was your experience like?
I'll let you know more as it pans out. Still in the beginning stages.
ORIGINAL: nonuts4thshoney What did you go through emotionally? How did you adjust if you had certain issues (whatever they may be)? What is it that you loved the most about your first experience in a poly relationship? Was there a tough period you went through then overcame it? What type of bonds did you have with the others in your relationship?
Lots of self-doubt, "is this right?" feelings, Can I really love two people fully? (Dumb question though, I already do so no need to question if, it already is), how is this going to work?, Is this really going to make me happy?, Is this going to make everyone happy?, How to deal with jealousy in my partners?, etc.
What I love most about my relationship (so far) is the people I'm in it with. They have the biggest hearts of anyone I know. We all have a very strong bond of friendship, loyalty, love, and of course trust. We truely want each other to be happy, and seeing each other happy makes us happy in return.
We're still in a tough period (as I'm sure you've read enough about it already) and are working through each issue as much as we can in advance, and together each issue that rears its head.