RE: What is the most appropriate way a sub should approach a dom?

RE: What is the most appropriate way a sub should approach a dom? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

chiaThePet -> RE: What is the most appropriate way a sub should approach a dom? (8/20/2009 6:39:39 AM)
My Dominants find immense pleasure in making me navigate a landmine maze as I approach them. The profuse cold sweating also helps release those unwanted toxins from the body. Ah good times. chia* (the pet)

shadowpleasure -> RE: What is the most appropriate way a sub should approach a dom? (8/21/2009 2:13:59 AM)
As a newbie myself, this has been very helpful to me. Just wanted to say thanks.

canukeepup -> RE: What is the most appropriate way a sub should approach a dom? (8/22/2009 7:12:47 AM)
EXELLENT .....thanks for that ...i've been lurking along here in forums abit....THAT was good advice.... quote: ORIGINAL: daintydimples You are getting some good profile advice. As to your initial (email) approach, I have this to offer: Whether dominant or submissive, females like to be courted. That means being very polite, very gallant, and having a real interest in who the other person IS. That you see this person as highly desirable (and I don't mean just sexually) should show in your messages. I would also add that any attempt to be overtly dominant or submissive in an initial message will almost certainly be a turnoff. Be willing to share who you are as a person, and especially in a non BDSM context. Females get tons of email, so be willing to carry the conversational ball. Personally, I don't mind mildly flirty, but anything overtly sexual from someone I don't know creeps me out. Lastly, let the female set the pace. I would give the above information to any male on this site wishing to approach a female, with no regard to whether they are dominant or submissive, which should tell you a lot.

lateralist1 -> RE: What is the most appropriate way a sub should approach a dom? (8/23/2009 3:28:43 PM)
Like a lot of male subs I think your more interested in kink than submission. I'm looking for a man who is submissive to me and no one else. I can't speak for anyone else.

NoreenSwan -> RE: What is the most appropriate way a sub should approach a dom? (8/23/2009 3:42:37 PM)
If you look good that's a good start for getting noticed at a club. After that you just have to find someone who looking for what you are and you find that through knowing what you like and communicating it to the other person.

NoreenSwan -> RE: What is the most appropriate way a sub should approach a dom? (8/23/2009 3:44:21 PM)
bump. quote: ORIGINAL: canukeepup EXELLENT .....thanks for that ...i've been lurking along here in forums abit....THAT was good advice.... quote: ORIGINAL: daintydimples You are getting some good profile advice. As to your initial (email) approach, I have this to offer: Whether dominant or submissive, females like to be courted. That means being very polite, very gallant, and having a real interest in who the other person IS. That you see this person as highly desirable (and I don't mean just sexually) should show in your messages. I would also add that any attempt to be overtly dominant or submissive in an initial message will almost certainly be a turnoff. Be willing to share who you are as a person, and especially in a non BDSM context. Females get tons of email, so be willing to carry the conversational ball. Personally, I don't mind mildly flirty, but anything overtly sexual from someone I don't know creeps me out. Lastly, let the female set the pace. I would give the above information to any male on this site wishing to approach a female, with no regard to whether they are dominant or submissive, which should tell you a lot.

MaamJay -> RE: What is the most appropriate way a sub should approach a dom? (8/23/2009 6:08:44 PM)
Yes some excellent advice thus far. My flippant answer would be "on your knees of course" but don't take that seriously! One serious suggestion for your first email to a Domme is such a simple one ... READ HER PROFILE FIRST! Yes I'm shouting because it would seem so simple and yet so few do! Don't argue with Her about what She has said. For eg, if She has said She wants someone in Her own country, don't try to argue with Her about you relocating! For one thing, it may not be that easy to get permanent residency in another country, and for another, She may not be willing to go down the torturous angst-ridden path of falling for someone She can't successfully import. So, read Her profile and if the fit is good, then write to Her. Don't send naked pictures of yourself or cock shots, it's rude. DO address what She has said in Her profile in a way that makes it absolutely obvious that you read it. For eg, if She's said She particularly enjoys spanking, you could either say you enjoy being spanked, or if you don't know whether you would or not, say that you are curious and would be willing to try it with someone you've developed trust with. It's not rocket science subs ... it's what used to be common sense (but it seems to be getting more rare all the time). Maam Jay aka violet[A]

bootlckr57 -> RE: What is the most appropriate way a sub should approach a dom? (8/24/2009 12:34:21 AM)
First, treat her like a lady. Second, don't be so hard on yourself. My experiance is that Dom women are still women and like to be with someone who is stimulating and fun. Doormats are boaring. In the end, a kinky relationship is 90% relationship and 10% kink. You need to love her first as a person. Work on the 90% part first and the rest will come. Angelica, owned by Goddess Cassandra.

MistressMelissa -> RE: What is the most appropriate way a sub should approach a dom? (8/24/2009 11:36:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bootlckr57 First, treat her like a lady...... In the end, a kinky relationship is 90% relationship and 10% kink.......... If you base your relationship in the first 90%, the last 10% has a way of working itself out. Words are cheap, the secret to getting my attention is in the action, not the words. Here's the 5 basic steps. 1- Do your home work. Actually read my profile and website so you have a clue as to who I am and what I seek. Write your lifestyle friends and ask them if they have met me or know anything about me. It's your life and your future we are discussing, you should verify I am who and what I claim to be. Hint: Sending me a chat request when the first line in my profile says "I don't accept chat requests" will not impress me. 2- Write a nice letter to introduce yourself and request a visit. 3- Actually show up for the visit. (This seems to be a major hurdle for most) 4- Sit down and actually have a conversation with me about what you want and why you think I can fulfill that need. 5- Spend time with me and my house to show me what you bring to the equation. This may take weeks or months. This is where you verify that I live true to my words. I get several requests a week form "slaves" wanting me to own them and professing their love and devotion when they know nothing about me; I find this rather interesting. The problem is it's easy to type out a line or two and hit enter. It's a little more work to type out a letter and spam it to all the femdom profiles you can find. It requires an effort to actually arrange a meeting and show up. It requires an effort to attend an event, approach me and ask for a conversation. The effort is what will catch a dominants attentions and separate you from the hordes of horny net geeks.

SweetNika -> RE: What is the most appropriate way a sub should approach a dom? (8/24/2009 12:22:40 PM)
Be yourself, approach them as human beings. Read their profiles, truly read them before e-mailing and when e-mail simply start a conversation with them like you would with anyone.

FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: What is the most appropriate way a sub should approach a dom? (8/24/2009 2:13:28 PM)
Your profile is okay... I'm not into the pressure of fullfilling what someone has been yearning for, thinking of, and wanting all his life, because it sounds too fantastic (like the first paragraph), but that's just me. Your second paragraph looks well put together, and from a down to earth guy, who'd be easy to sit accross. As to how to approach a dominant, just simply forget she is dominant, and simply remember she's a lady, and approach her simply as a lady. If you're a smart man, you'll also read her profile carefully, and make comments indicating you read and understood what she wrote. M

gentlemanprince -> RE: What is the most appropriate way a sub should approach a dom? (8/24/2009 2:37:51 PM)
I've found that balancing a ball on my nose like a seal really gets their attention. Of course, after that it is all downhill.

Carmeldelight -> RE: What is the most appropriate way a sub should approach a dom? (8/24/2009 5:47:08 PM)
Just start by saying hello....if the person is down to earth they should respond back by saying hello to you too.....but then you have the person with an ego....that person you just leave alone. you ego should be enough.

lizi -> RE: What is the most appropriate way a sub should approach a dom? (8/24/2009 6:33:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight Just start by saying hello....if the person is down to earth they should respond back by saying hello to you too.....but then you have the person with an ego....that person you just leave alone. you ego should be enough. No...not really. Just saying hello is silly and it happens so often that it tends to turn people off. I"m so tired myself of the one word or one line emails. It doesn't distinguish the writer at all from all the other people who do it. The goal should be to distinguish yourself and make a good impression. As the others have said read someone's profile and then write a short but thoughtful email based on it. Being funny is nice, being gallant and polite is necessary. Try to stay away from kink and sex based comments. No body part pictures. Concentrate on what you can offer someone as opposed to what you want from them. Be honest. Make yourself stand out and seem interesting. Good luck...

daintydimples -> RE: What is the most appropriate way a sub should approach a dom? (8/24/2009 7:05:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight Just start by saying hello....if the person is down to earth they should respond back by saying hello to you too.....but then you have the person with an ego....that person you just leave alone. you ego should be enough. What? You clearly have no conception of how many messages a female can receive here. 90% of them are hello or some other one liner. Another 10% are clearly cut and paste intros. I strongly suggest putting yourself in the top 10% by reading her profile and using that to make polite conversation, as suggested above.

FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: What is the most appropriate way a sub should approach a dom? (8/24/2009 10:15:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gentlemanprince I've found that balancing a ball on my nose like a seal really gets their attention. Of course, after that it is all downhill Having a sense of humor and following directions downhill work very well indeed. [8D] M

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

3.515625E-02