Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: When a master makes a promise


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: When a master makes a promise Page: <<   < prev  2 3 4 [5] 6   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 1:21:01 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

This slave always keeps in mind that everyone will fall short, at different times...


I agree, and there are circumstances in which one cannot avoid breaking a promise they've made. But can't and won't are two different things. You asked a bunch of questions and I could have answered each one, but the bottom line is that it's not the specifics, it's the attitude one has about what their word is, what it means and what keeps them true to it, so I'll just restate something which I already said.. keeping your word isn't hard at all if you say what you mean and mean what you say.

Celeste



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to phoenix1)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 1:28:28 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

However don't forget that us blokes don't always have the sharpest of memories (especially us Old Farts) and so something which was to be done may not happen due to forgetfullness.


I'm getting close to that old fart stage myself. ::chuckles:: Most of my sentences regarding intent start with 'God willing.. ' lol

If Himself starts a sentence with.. "Are you going to" or "Are you planning on..".. my response is almost always.. "That's the plan."

Not 'yes'.. but .. 'that's the plan.'.. and that's the difference.

If his sentence starts off with .. "You need to do..." that's when it's "Yes, Sir!" And those 'always' get done unless God's not willing.. in which case, Himself can speak directly to the Big Dom Upstairs. lol

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 1:33:25 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic


quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie


quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

If they are truly 'promises' and they are constantly broken... as Oothers have stated... it begins to deteriorate the relationship. True promises should not be made or broken lightly and most certainly not on a regular basis.

In addition, even if the words 'i promise' are NOT put in front of a sentence and it is just 'Your' (generic Your) word and Your word changes (on a regular basis) just because "You beat on Your chest and proclaim I am Master... You are slave... therefore, I can do whatever I choose too" is imo bullhockey.


i understand you are likely referring to abuse of power here but the truth is, he IS Master and CAN do what he wants.

There are consequences, however. If a Master prefers a slave who serves happily, and eagerly, he would be wise to foster that in her and in doing so, he would instill trust in her. It is logical to me that he would best benefit from happy and trusting service, so would invest accordingly to receive such.


exactly owned... you have One you have given your life over to and you trust Him implicitly... imo everything you say and/or do is a direct reflection on Him and how much He shines through your eyes.. Also imo... He earned that from you... i doubt you gave it freely the very moment He im'd you. i also doubt very much that His first im was 'kneel bitch' you do a great service to your Master... BECAUSE of how He has treated you... He earned your trust by being Who He is.



True, angelic. i am a reflection of his teachings, which are almost identical to what Amayos has been saying (For awhile there i thought he was my Master in disguise...LOL). The fact is, the concepts sound harsh. Putting them into life, with trust and consideration involved, is entirely different. No i did not trust my Master right off the bat, and i watched very carefully what he said and did, prior to begging his ownership. But guess what? Often times he would say "I'll talk to you later tonight" and would get distracted and not contact me. i realized that life is not rigid and while he intended to contact me, it was his right not to and it really wasn't that big a deal. Did he do that all the time? No. In fact, i don't think anyone on "this side" of this discussion is advocating that it's okay to flip flop and waiver and act like an overall flake. Obviously anyone who did that - Master/Dom/slave/submissive/overall generic human being....would have no credibility at all. What i am saying is that there are times when decisions might be revoked. And when that happens, the way it is handled will have great influence on the outcome. i have belonged to my Master long enough to know and trust that it is highly unlikely he will revoke serious decisions. And i count on that. But i also know that it is his right to do so should he deem appropriate. i put my trust in him to decide what is best for me. If over time he changes his mind as to what is best, then i will trust that too, even if i don't like it.


(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 1:51:41 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		Owned: i hope someday to have what you do... if not, then not... (i may actually have to stop posting my opinions on this Board if i don't want to scare off all Those even remotely interested LOL)

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 2:21:08 PM   
DestinyCommander


Posts: 30
Joined: 2/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse


Look at how you say something. Do you say "I'll get around to fixing the truck", or "I'll fix the truck tomorrow"... one is a statement of general intent, the other a promise of action the following day.

Not a difficult thing to understand, nor IMO to stick to.


I couldn't agree more.

But what if the person you said it to takes it as a promise? In that case, you have a miscommunication and should solve that. That's what I believe happened with the OP and her Master.


_____________________________

"You have to get up pretty early in the morning to get ME up pretty early in the morning." -- Ian Shoales

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 2:27:04 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		angelic, i consider myself incredibly fortunate. i did not always have these opinions, however. He grew them in me, by the way he manages me. Again, they sound harsh up front, but living under such rules with a trusted Master makes the difference. i have no doubts i am in good hands, so if he changes the course, i follow.

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 2:31:17 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DestinyCommander
But what if the person you said it to takes it as a promise? In that case, you have a miscommunication and should solve that. That's what I believe happened with the OP and her Master.


Frankly I don't think you can make any such assumption about the OP... you don't even know if those examples where entirely hypothetical. She posed a question, she didn't say "This happened to me, give your opinion on it"

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to DestinyCommander)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 2:41:27 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

If his sentence starts off with .. "You need to do..." that's when it's "Yes, Sir!" And those 'always' get done unless God's not willing.. in which case, Himself can speak directly to the Big Dom Upstairs. lol

Celeste


Prayer to The Big Dom Upstairs

"Oh most Mighty God of Traffic Lights and other Abominations.
If you can turn traffic lights green when I need them,
Seeing you always find me an empty car park when I'm in a hurry or late,
Why in the blue blazers can't you sort things out so as to stop inpeeding my slave?
Now if you don't improve, I'll have to march through those Pearly Gates of yours
(BTW mate I can get you a great deal on slave labour to polish them seeing they look a tad tarbnished),
And use my brand new flogger on you unless you'd rather have me send a Gorean there to supervise things?
Just phone me on that celestial phone of yours with a reply.
Oh, before I forget, dont for get to bring cheescake when next you visit for another pow wow"

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 3:35:40 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Sits back shaking head.... all but laughing.... totaly amazed at how blind people have become... and how stupid others think some are on here....

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 3:37:21 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

Sits back shaking head.... all but laughing.... totaly amazed at how blind people have become... and how stupid others think some are on here....



That wasn't very nice...

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 4:02:52 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		awwwwwwwwww owned... what's the matter?

I said some... not all...

It was not directed at no one person... don't take it personal

The way some on here think.. including myself.. has become pretty funny actually.

The way some treat others on here as being stupid.. because of their thoughts or opinions.. is becoming comical at times. (guilty as charged)

So yeah... sitting here shaking head at it.. but don't take it personal owned...

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 4:19:03 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

The way some treat others on here as being stupid.. because of their thoughts or opinions.. is becoming comical at times. (guilty as charged)


I'll admit to feeling pretty stupid here because I'm not getting it. If your Master comes up to you and says, 'I'm going to marry you in June', should you go out and buy a wedding dress or not? Is 'saying' you're going to do something a promise or not? Is your word good or not? I mean, is it just an elaborate mindfuck?

Maybe it's good I don't get it. Maybe it's bad, but I know that when Himself tells me something, I take it literally because I don't know how else I'm supposed to take it. Reminds me of Himself telling me that I could have ANYTHING for my birthday. He didn't really mean that though, so had to spell it out for me. Now I know that 'anything' means a $1500 limit, it can't include the 7th fleet or zebras and Topping him is out of the question. That's the sort of clarity I require because when left to my own devices, lordy, the things I can come up with when all limits are off.

I think I'll just go sit in the corner now and gag myself. I'll be quiet, I'll drool, but I'll like it. ::chuckles::

Celeste



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 4:23:10 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Oh, christ sake man, you and me gotta tussle comin' over this prehistoric EST attitude.........perhaps at a barbie, mate?

Good to see ya.............

Must got lotta memory now!!!!!!!!!!

LOL,
Ron (a bit of ol' china!)

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 4:35:08 PM   
HouseofBear


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline 		We have a slightly different viewpoint. As dominants, if we make a promise, to not keep it would be dishonorable, and be a cause for loss of trust. Hardly what we would wish to base a relationship on.

(in reply to MyCaptainsPet)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 4:51:23 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble


I'll admit to feeling pretty stupid here because I'm not getting it. If your Master comes up to you and says, 'I'm going to marry you in June', should you go out and buy a wedding dress or not? Is 'saying' you're going to do something a promise or not? Is your word good or not? I mean, is it just an elaborate mindfuck?

Maybe it's good I don't get it. Maybe it's bad, but I know that when Himself tells me something, I take it literally because I don't know how else I'm supposed to take it. Reminds me of Himself telling me that I could have ANYTHING for my birthday. He didn't really mean that though, so had to spell it out for me. Now I know that 'anything' means a $1500 limit, it can't include the 7th fleet or zebras and Topping him is out of the question. That's the sort of clarity I require because when left to my own devices, lordy, the things I can come up with when all limits are off.

I think I'll just go sit in the corner now and gag myself. I'll be quiet, I'll drool, but I'll like it. ::chuckles::

Celeste





Bita... not refering to you either here... It just seems that because the original question was about breaking promises... (me included) this went in 5 different directions.. because of one comment or another.. in ones post about broken promises.... (hense I wondered of into the definition of slavery)..But bottom line.... With knowing the differance between a promise... and a statement in passing.. we're not that stupid as to think .. when Master says one thing.. if he's making a promise or not. (Talking about others that said there's a differance) No kidding!

Yes.. when Master says we're getting married in July... i accept that to go through... i'm taking him at his word.. to simply "Change his mind" because he simply wanted.... to me.. IMO.. is bullshit!

Now if he was to say... hey.. thinking about a July wedding... that is not a promise to me.. that's a comment.. a thought.

This is what I was refering to .. when it's been mentioned about comments.. and promises. So as in stated in other threads... it's all in the wording... and as my Dom.. my Master.. i expect him to choose his words carefully... just as I do. so as to not step out of line with him.



< Message edited by truesub4u -- 2/24/2006 4:53:01 PM >

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 5:09:20 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		i said earlier, if a Master was in the habit of breaking promises at whim, that would be one thing entirely - he would lose credibility and be considered a flake. i don't think this thread was about that, however.

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 5:33:43 PM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline 		I ask the following of those who are of the opinion that a Master does not need to justify breaking a promise to a slave.

What is the Master makes the 'promise' over and over again..and it never happens.

Hypothetical Examples:
1. 'I will go to the doctor this week to get that big painful lump in my stomach checked out.'
2. 'This weekend I am going to repair the leak in the roof over the baby's bedroom.'
3. 'I promise to talk to Grandmaster Rooty-Tooty of the House of Pancakes about the nasy things his slaves Fresh and Fruity did to you last week/moth/year. (Thanks to Laura Antoniou for that hilarious image)

Food for thought.


_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 5:52:48 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant

I ask the following of those who are of the opinion that a Master does not need to justify breaking a promise to a slave.

What is the Master makes the 'promise' over and over again..and it never happens.

Hypothetical Examples:
1. 'I will go to the doctor this week to get that big painful lump in my stomach checked out.'
2. 'This weekend I am going to repair the leak in the roof over the baby's bedroom.'
3. 'I promise to talk to Grandmaster Rooty-Tooty of the House of Pancakes about the nasy things his slaves Fresh and Fruity did to you last week/moth/year. (Thanks to Laura Antoniou for that hilarious image)

Food for thought.




Then i repeat - he loses credibility and is a flake. Not the Master for me.

(in reply to Elegant)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 5:55:37 PM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Then i repeat - he loses credibility and is a flake. Not the Master for me.



I knew that would be your thought...grin..i just wonder the thoughts of those who are of the opinion that a Master does not need to justify breaking a promise to a slave.

_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: When a master makes a promise - 2/24/2006 5:57:20 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		personally, and even though they may be excelent Masters in all other areas, if the Master ccontiually breaks his promise (and we'll assume that he is not suffering from short term memory loss ~ STML), I would see him as being untrustworthy and dishonourable, thus not worthy of being called "Master". This would apply even more so to a Gorean Master.

However I am but one voice and one Ol' Grizzly and can speek for none other.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Elegant)
Profile   Post #: 100
Page:   <<   < prev  2 3 4 [5] 6   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: When a master makes a promise Page: <<   < prev  2 3 4 [5] 6   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.111