AquaticSub -> RE: What is your safe word? (9/22/2009 5:56:10 PM)
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~Fast Reply~ Valyraen and I don't really use safewords. Never really have, probably never will. Last night we were trying to remember what it was and neither of us could agree on what we had decided it was so that probably tells you something. Generally it doesn't come too much into play. I'll say "that knot is too tight", "please hit somewhere else" and if he wants me to enjoy the beating, he will. Our real safeword is his name and it comes into play for rape scenes. We both love them and I love being able to fight him, scream no, threaten the cops, whatever. It gets me all hot and bothered. But when I have to tell him something and I need him to realize it's serious and we need to stop and check things out, I say his name. At this point, I don't particularly feel one or another about safewords except that they can be useful and don't particularly get why people can get up in arms about them - though I did once upon a time before I got more experienced and hopefully wiser. I also believe that any word that causes a scene to stop or pause, from "Stop" to "I'm calling the cops" is a safeword as it has the same effect as me saying his name in a rape scene. The word itself doesn't make you safe, just like a safe call doesn't mean you won't be hurt. But it's another tool in the box and if it is useful to your situation, be it long-term or for the moment, then pull it out.
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